And without further ado.....Here is BO story #1

*Red wings music plays*
The sky was a bright blue on this morning. A row of six airships streaked across the sky in perfect formation. Their destination was Castle Baron, there home. On the lead airship was the captain, a fair yet evil man, Golbez Harvey. He was ordering his troops.
Golbez: Man those sails men, we don't want to crash!!
Soldier: Yes sir!!
Golbez: Why did we have to steal that crystal, we had no right. I don't want to defy the king but this is wrong
Soldier: Monsters coming!!!!!
Suddenly a small pigeon flew by, the men all ran in terror while Golbez looked at them.
Golbez: You're all so weak.....
Sujen: Get up!!!
Golbez: The gods.... They speak to me!!
Sujen: You're so lazy, wake your ass up!!
Golbez: Lazy...what?
Suddenly something smacked Golbez and the world started to fade.....
Golbez: What, is there trouble...oh, damn, sorry it was that dream again.
Sujen: The one with Geg and Arthur.... Oh you poor baby...
Golbez: *Shudders* No not that one, the red wings one.
Sujen: I don't get that one, your not the captain of the Red Wings, your just a paladin...not even a dark one.
Golbez: Ya but...it just seems so familiar...
Sujen: I don't know, but your brother wants you to report to the throne room.
Golbez: Oh, well I had better go then.... I'll see you later Baby. *winks at her*
Sujen: You big goof....
Golbez quickly got dressed and headed for the Throne room. Baron Castle was a pretty large place if you didn't get used to it. Golbez was a Paladin; his job was to protect Castle Baron at all times. So far he had done a great job, except for the time when it was attacked by a neighbouring country and was almost completely destroyed, but nobody ever brought that up anymore. His brother was the king of Baron, Cecil Harvey. While a good and Nobel king, he did have trouble with the ladies. In fact lately he had been trying anything to get a girlfriend. As Golbez came to the throne room he saw that over half the soldiers at Baron were lined up listening to Cecil. Golbez decided to listen in for a moment.
Cecil: Now men, this shall be our greatest task yet, it will be hard and many of you will have to give your lives to your country.
Golbez: Oh no.... WAR!
Cecil: You will all go out into the world, and don't come back till you have found the one that Shall be my wife. Your country needs you men...
Golbez: Oh jeez....
Cecil: And I need you...now go!!!
Soldiers: Aye!
As the soldiers rushed out of the castle most with confused looks, Golbez came up to the throne where Cecil sat.
Golbez: Desperate?
Cecil: Oh shut up, now I needed to inform you of something.
Golbez: Make it quick I want to be with my wife.
Cecil: *Lucky* Anyhoo, I have reports that there are people coming to Baron. I don't know if they are bad or not but they are coming, and you have to be on watch more now because half of our soldiers are now on assignment.
Golbez: Yes my liege. *Dumbass* Will that be all sir?
Cecil: Yes. You are dismissed.
As Golbez went back to his room he could hear Cecil yell out to a servant.
Cecil: I ordered that cheeseburger 20 seconds ago, what took so long!!
Golbez just shrugged and went back to his loving wife. Meanwhile, a small, brown wild cat walked into the throne room. It had its tail up high and had that proud look cats give. He walked over to Cecil in hi throne room, blinked and to everyone's surprise, spoke.
Cat: All right Gov?
Cecil: What madness is this?
Cat: The name's Caracal, and I'm British.
Cecil: British huh? Anyway, what are you? A witch's cat?
Caracal: True, my last owner was a real bitch, but no witch. I hear you have love problems. Ya know, women dig a cat like me. Let me show you.
Caracal walked into a room full of women. Cooing noises could be head from there.
Woman #1: He is so cute!
Woman #2: He's so friendly and adorable.
Woman #3: He's so charming, like most British people.
Caracal: Meow. Purr purr purr purr.
Suddenly, a man ran around, screaming.
Man: A MONSTER!! A MONSTER!!
Somehow, the small pigeon from Golbez's dream was in he real world. It was flying around, minding it's own business.
Caracal: Let me deal with it.
Caracal jumped up high into the air, grabbed the bird by its neck and pulled. The force of gravity, a cat's mouth and its teeth was enough to break the poor bird's neck. Caracal landed on all fours (what else), and walked around proudly with the bird in its mouth.
Woman #1: He saved us from the killer pigeon!
Cecil: Well.... Uh... He's the royal cat. Yes, he is my pet cat.
Woman #2: I thought you hated cats because you were allergic to them?
Cecil: Uh....
Suddenly, Golbez ran in.
Golbez: Hey - that's a pigeon I saw in my dreams. How did it get here?
Solder: We saw it fly out of the dream bubble above your head.
Golbez: Well. OK. Who is that fine animal down there?
Caracal: I'm Caracal guv. Pleased to met you.
Cecil walked over.
Cecil: You get better action with women, Caracal. I want you to lead the group of people who get me my wife.
Caracal: As you wish your majesty
Golbez: Bu..... Bu...... But Cecil!
Cecil: He's British and Charming. The perfect way to get women. Thus, he should lead.
Golbez: That is very true. The British accent is enough to melt almost any woman and charm always helps to make them swoon, but he's a cat!
Cecil: And?
Golbez: All right. As long as he can by my kitty.
Caracal: I have no problem with that.
Cecil: It's settled then. Caracal is the leader and Golbez's kitty.
Golbez knelt down to Caracal's level and began call him.
Golbez: Here kitty, kitty, kitty kitty.
Caracal gave Golbez an evil look, then jumped at him, claws and teeth at the ready. Seconds later, Golbez is covered in claw and teeth marks.
Caracal: Don't ever call me "kitty"!
As Caracal stood at ready on Golbez a booming yell could be heard coming down the Hallway.
Golbez: Oh your screwed now kitty.... Watch out.
Suddenly Sujen burst into the room with murder in her eyes. She rushed at Caracal.
Caracal: Oh dear me, what is this?
Sujen: DON'T EVER TOUCH MY GOLBY!!!!!!
Caracal: Why I do believe you've gone daft, m'lady.
Sujen then came in and struck Caracal down off Golbez with a Webtv keyboard.
Sujen: Never doubt the power of WebTv.... It ownz you!!!!!!
Caracal: Oh my, that hurt....
Golbez: Calm down dear, he's our ally now, and he's our kitty.
Suddenly Sujen's evil eyes shifted to Golbez.
How many times do I have to tell you, I'm allergic to cats!!!!
Cecil: You had best run Golby....
Golbez: I suppose your right......
Golbez then ran out of the castle and hid inside the town.
Sujen: Oh well fine, guess he can sleep outside then.
Caracal: Why I do believe Golby has been put in the doghouse. *British laughs*
Cecil: Oi.....
Suddenly, Sujen ran out, brandishing a Broad Sword
Golbez: Oh shit….
Caracal: Hang on a minute lads. I've got a great idea…
Caracal walked over to Sujen, stood on his back paws, wobbled then used his tail to maintain balance.
Caracal: Now hold on love. I'm a Caracal, and British at that. Caracal's aren't your average cat. We're known for good jumping skills.
A bird could be spotted a few hundred feet in air. Caracal jumped up, grabbed the bird and pulled it back down.
Caracal: Here's dinner. Anyway, are ya sneezing around me?
Sujen: Well, no… Why is that?
Caracal (changing the subject): So there is no reason to try and kill me.
Sujen: But you scratched my Golby!
Caracal: He called me kitty. I hate being called "kitty". Anyone who calls me kitty results in me to laceratin' 'em love.
He then fell down onto all fours and began to trot along.
Caracal: Now, aren't we all on a mission to allow Mr Cecil here to have a Mrs. Cecil lads and lasses? If so, I suppose we should start.

And off our heroes trotted into the sun set. The skipped along, arms locked, singing to themselves. Then, a gang of muggers taught they were sissies and decided to mug them. Five seconds later, Caracal was blowing blood off his claws and the muggers walked away, bleeding like hell.
Caracal: That's what they get for calling me "Kitty".
Suddenly Cecil rushes out of the Castle.
Cecil: Hey what the hell, where are you three going, you're supposed to stay here in the castle and protect it.
Golbez: Oh that's right, gee I was just following the cat.
Sujen: When did you come back?
Golbez: who knows, writers can do anything. See watch The real Theron appears out of nowhere.
Theron: What the hell?
Suddenly he is gone.
Sujen: Oh OK!
Caracal: Well mates I guess we best stay in the castle.
Cecil: OK good.
The four go back into the castle and when they get there a man is lying dead in a pool of red blood. Beside him lies a plate with a cheeseburger.
Cecil: NO!!!! Not my servant!
Caracal: What fool evil doth this be?
Golbez: Hey what happened to your voice?
Caracal: It appears thee writer dous be moronic, it shall go back within time.
Dead servant: Hey could someone help me, I tripped and fell on the ketchup bottle.
Group: Oh.... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!

Announcer: The City of Townsville...whoops wrong thing.. The Kingdom of Baron...
The fire filled eyes were locked onto the Castle. The dragon knight wasn't in a good mood.
Evil music starts to play.
Therony: CUT THAT OUT! *Music stops.* Stupid orchestra. Anyway... That place will pay for stealing my angel! *Evil music starts once again as he starts heading toward the palace*
Therony: I'm warning you guys. You can't play with no hands! *Silent once more.*
Taking a small picture out. He smiled a little. It was a picture of an angel plushie! *A quick note is played.*
Therony: grr...huh?
Therony turned around just to find another person there.
???: Therony I am your creator...
Therony: Who the hell are you?
Theron: I'm Theron you dumb Dragon! Who the hell think put you here? *Ahem* Anyway.. Why are you barging in there?
Therony: If you made me, then you would know dolt. Now leave me alone. I have the Book of the....er My angel to get!
Theron: Dumb Dragon. *Hits him*
The two start to fight. Despite it was creation and creator. The dust cloud that was forming could be seen for miles around. A few mins later.
Theron: This is pointless! How could I make you so dumb? I'm gone! *Somehow disappears*
Therony: Good riddance!
A brick came out of nowhere and nailed him in the back of the head. Making Therony even more irate. The dragon knight stomped toward the castle.
*Evil music starts again*
Therony: Oh that's it! *Slides down a Censored screen. Only the sounds of ripping and screaming was heard.* I told you...*More screams* Not to play the music till I say so!!!
After another 30 mins past.
Therony: I need better help...
Standing in front of the gate. He looked up.
Therony: Now I need a few good... Hey start the music already!
One of the musicians: But you said...
He only to see the glare from the dragon knight. Music starts to instantly play once again.
Therony: That's better!! Ready or not! Here I come! hahahaha!
Announcer: What's next for the city... Damn I mean the Kingdom of Baron...Will the Dragon Knight succeed in his revenge?? Tune in next time to The Powerpuff Girls.
The Powerpuff Girls end music starts.
Therony: OK! Stop the music!!!
*Music stops*
Therony: You idiot! This is the BO stories! Not Those little Creampuffs show!
The Powerpuff Girls: HEYYYYYY!
Therony: Oh shut it..
He boots the three of them out of here.
Announcer: Why would you make stories about Body Odour?
Therony: *growl* Not that BO! Baron Online! Oh yeah, we need a whole new crew here....
Meanwhile within the castle walls, Golbez was finally having some quality time with his wife, Cecil was hitting on the ladies, and Caracal was roaming the castle bored.
Caracal: There doth not be anything to do in this castle.
Announcer: Why don't you visit Golbez, he is your owner
Caracal: Thou doust have a valid point, I think I shall, many thanks Gov.
Announcer: Your voice...it's weird
Caracal: Bugger off lad!!!! So Caracal decided to visit his master. When he came to the door he knocked with his paw. As soon he knocked he heard hushed voices.
Sujen: What the hell can't anyone leave us alone!!!
Golbez: Don't worry baby, they will go away.
Caracal decides to walk right in......
Caracal: Oh dear god!!! What are you two doing!!!!!
Sujen: What does it look like, Were posting at Final Fantasy Main Square, is that OK?
Caracal: Um.. I suppose, listen thou is bored, doust thee want to train with thou?
Golbez: Sure!!!
So about 20 minuets later Caracal and Golbez are in the arena fighting. Suddenly someone burst into the room.
Man: I'm here for no reason, I just am here to be stupid, and I play no part in the story and never will, goodbye!!
The man leaves.
Caracal: Right, anyway....Have at you Snake!!!
Golby: Um... It's Golby.
Caracal: My bad, Girlfriend, like whatever.....*Clears throat*
Golbez: You should get that checked out....
So the two begin to fight, as Caracal runs around scratching Golby, Golbez tries to find a weapon. Suddenly the fight is over when Golby smacks into a wall and passes out.
*Two hours later*
Sujen: ? Are you ok babe?
Golbez: I like cheese......
Announcer: Oh no BO fans, it looks like Golby's turned stupid, how will this effect the story and does anyone really care?
Golbez: Ok cut cut! This is all wrong.
Explosive Caracal, Jeremy, and Theron walk in. Explosive Caracal/EC: What do you mean it's right in the script.
Theron: Yeah, don't interrupt the flow of the story.
Jeremy: Well the beginning got complaints, it seems some people can't take a joke for what it is. So as you read this, pretend Cecil is loved by the ladies.... But to make it even his character now has no legs and only one arm, there that will teach him to mess with the BO Stories. So remember Cecil is now the one armed, zero legged king of Baron, but the ladies love him.
Theron: OK, that sounds right.
EC: OK. Start it up again!!!!
Announcer: Anyway, now Golbez appears to be dumb and now the king is deformed, oh well. I need a new job....
Theron: Follow the script you ass, or you won't get paid.
Announcer: Screw this I quit, I can't take these conditions..... Lata!!!!! *runs out crying*
Golbez: Oh jeez now it's all messed up.... Oh well it's the BO Stories.
Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Suddenly, a messenger ran into the castle, screaming his head off.
Messenger: WHERE'S HIS MAJESTY!!! WHERE'S HIS MAJESTY!!! I MUST SPEAK WITH THE KING!!!!
Hearing all the commotion, Golbez, Sujen and Caracal ran out to met him.
Sujen: What's going on?
Golbez: I like cheese.
Messenger: Baron Castle is in danger!
Sujen: WHAT!
Messenger: It's the evil wizard Ikonboardia. He wishes to destroy Baron Castle.
Caracal: Ikonboardia……
Sujen: You heard of him?
Golbez: Cheese good.
Caracal: Once. But it ain't important right now. Why does he want to destroy Baron Castle guv?
Messenger: No reason given.
Caracal: Well, ain't that a kick in the teeth.
Golbez suddenly went sane for a second, and actually said something that made sense for once in his life.
Golbez: I'll go and summon Cecil.
A few minutes later, Cecil was brought in on his royal wheelchair.
Messenger: My lord. I bring grave news. The dark wizard Ikonboardia wishes to destroy Baron Castle. No reason was given.
Cecil: I see. We need to gather together a crack team of fighters to go and take him down.
Caracal: I wish to go.
Cecil: May I ask why?
Caracal: I'm sorry you're majesty, but that is something I'd like to keep to myself.
Cecil: I see. The cat shall be granted his privacy on this issue. I hope you can all find Ikonboardia soon, and save Baron Castle.
Goblez: I'm gona sing the Doom Song now. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom…….
Cecil:……
Sujen:……
Caracal:…… Uh…. Do we have to take him with us guv?
Cecil: Uh Sujen, what made you marry him?
Sujen: I have no idea
Golbez: Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom. The end.
Poor Golbez. In his mind he was still himself, but whenever he tried to say something intelligent it came out stupid. Suddenly a voice began to speak to Golbez.... telepathically Voice: There is a way to get rid of the stupidity.
Golbez: How, and who are you.
Voice: I am the past, the present, I am The real Golbez from FF4.
Golbez: Your my hero!!!!
Voice: Whatever, to get rid of the stupidity you must get a kiss from the one you love most.
Golbez: A kiss from Sujen no problem!! Thanks Golbez!!!
Voice: Any time, Golby.
As Golbez talked to the voice in his mind on the outside he was standing dumbfounded, drool dripped down the side of his mouth.
Sujen: Oh dear lord, I swear I'll never kiss him again!
Suddenly Golbez Snapped out of the trance.
Golbez: Doopido dopidy do! (Translation: kiss me Sujen)
Sujen: ............
Caracal: .................
Cecil: ...............
Oompa-loompa: ................
Cecil: Hey an oompa loompa, let's eat it!!!!!!
Golbez: Oompa loompa doppidy do, if you are wise you'll listen to me......
Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! New announcer: Hello I'm Sean Connery, I'll be your narrator for the rest of this story. What evil deeds is the wizard Ikonboardia plotting, will Sujen ever kiss Golby again, do oompa loompa's taste good with ketchup, find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!!!!!!!
Jeremy: That's BO stories.
Sean Connery: Why I don't have Body Odour..........

One hour later.
Sean Connery: The name's Bond, James.... Oh, we're filming.
Sean clears his throat.
Sean Connery: And now, back to DragonBall Z....
Caracal: KAME HAME HA!!!!!
A huge Kame Hame Ha wave was fired out of Caracal's paws, right at Majin Buu.
Buu: Kitty funny.
The fur on the top of Caracal's head was long, blond and stretched down his back. Basically, he was SSJ3.
Caracal: Don't call me Kitty Buu!
Caracal ran up to Buu, fired out his claws and scratched Buu across the face. Suddenly, the background vanished.
EC: Hey, what gives?
Man in Buu suit: Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod Thankyougod!!!!!!!!
Theron: What is it?
Guy who stopped the show: Well, we're turning into an ep of DBZ, not the Body Odour Stories.
Jeremy: BO STANDS FOR BARON ONLINE, NOT BODY ODOUR!!!!
Guy who stopped the show: ...... Somebody put that idiot in a straight jacket!
Jeremy is put in a straight jacket.
Guy who stopped the show: OK people, action!
Golbez is tied up in a straight jacket.
Sujen: Golbez has turned into a nut case. I'm thinking about leaving him....
Golbez: I want to be a mongoose!
Cecil: ...... I want you all to go and kill the wizard Ikonboardia. I want all three of you to go on the Red Wing ship. Yes, that includes Golbez.
Caracal: Ah crap!

And so our three heroes are taken aboard the Red Wing ship.
Caracal: You know love, I've been wondering if the wizard Ikonboardia plans to rain doom down on us.
Sujen: Caracal! Don't say "Doom" in front of Golbez!
Golbez: I'm gona sing the Doom Song now!
Sujen: Not again....!
Caracal is suddenly wearing gold chains and has a mohecan hair cut. Basically, he looked like a cat version of Mr. T.
Mr. T/Caracal: That Golbez succa is crazier than that foo' Murdoc!
Sujen: I agree with you Mr. C......!
Meanwhile Golbez was trying to find ways to get Sujen to kiss him.
Golbez: (I love you please kiss me) .....I like monkeys!
Caracal: Righty-o mate.
Sujen: Damn I love him and all but he's so stupid.....

Jeremy: Hey I almost forgot, I have a date tonight with the real Sujen, someone write the rest of this I got to go.
Theron and EC: No wait!!!!
Sean Connery: Oh bloody hell.....
*Scilence*
Theron: Well someone has to write his part now..... I'm busy.
EC: Yeah me too, do we have any extras from before?
Theron: Oh yeah I'll go get one.
Short while later.
Bubbles: Hi I'm a Powerpuff Girl, where did we leave off...? Oh yeah.
EC: Oh god.
Bubbles Narrating: Well, Golbez was acting a bit crazy he he and Sujen was not liking this so like she avoided him ya know. Caracal was being pretty serious cause of that big meanie Ikoboardia... tee hee.
Sujen: Lets all draw pretty pictures and stuff.
Caracal: Yeah I like to color, red is my favowite color.
Golbez: I like color, it's colorfull
Theron: Cut cut...what the hell is this, dammit someone else write, Bubbles get the hell out!
Bubbles: tee hee.. OK.

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