Jeremy: Ok...the water trial.
Sean: As the group walked into the next room they were transformed once more. Only this time they took the form of something so ghastly, so evil it shook fear into there very souls... They were now Pokemon!
EC: Oh god.....
Theron: Huh EC, I want to see where he goes with this.
Jeremy: Moving along....
The room was filled with water exept for the platforms along the edge of the room and four pillars in the middle, yet only the top of the pillars stood out of the water. Caracal was now Pikachu, Theron was Mewtwo, his plushie was Clefairy, and Cecil was a Metapod, because Metapod can't do anything and it fits Cecil...he he. As the four came up to the waters edge, Squirtles began to pour out of the water, this looked bad. Caracal started by throwing bolts of electricity into the water thus killing hundreds of the little bastards. Mewtwo used his powers to get the pokemon to start killing each other. Clefairy pounded them on the head and Cecil just sat there. After about 3 hours and 23 minutes of kiolling the squirtlles were all dead but one. This one looked sickly....
Meanwhile with Golbez.......
Nerd#1: Trade me your Charmander.
Nerd#2: No way he's a super dupper ultra shiny plantnum holographic comando rare, I'm putting him in my binder forever.
Golbez: But it's cardboard...
Nerd#2: No it's a super dupper ultra shiny platnum holographic comando rare!!!
Golbez: I got to focus my paladin power and get out of here......I'll cast warp and join the gang in the trials.
Golbez warped to the water trial room.
Back with the gang......
Caracal: Pika!!!!!"
Suddenly Golbez appeared, but instead of a pokemon...he was Link!!!!! When Golbez appeared a voice called out to the squirtle from the water.
???: Kill them, use your Squirtle powers!
Squirtle: No way Morpha, I have a rash I can't squirtle today.
Morpha: Fool, your dead!
The giant water snake then came out of the water and ate the squirtle, he then looked at the group...they were next! Golbez knew what to do...he singled the group.
Golbez: Ok listen when he get's near I'll use my hookshot to bring out it's core, then everyone focus your attacks together on the core...ok?
Caracal: Pika!
Therony: Mew...Two.
Meiglan: Clefairy.
Cecil: Metapod.
Golbez: Um...I'll take that as an ok...
So the battle commensed. Morpha lashed at Link-Golbez and grabbed him. Link-Golbez tried to fire his hook shot but he missed. The giant creature threw him across the room into the water. Lucky for the young warrior there was a ladder on the side of the pillar. He climbed up and saw that Morpha was already dead. The others were already changed back. Soon Golbez did too.
Golbez: How...I mean....
Therony: Metapod killed him.
Golbez: WHAT?!?!"
But before anyone could explain the nerds came back and captured Golbez.
Nerd#3: Now we brought you back to tell you about this new card.
Golbez: Oh God....
Theron: I smell an oscar.
EC: *snores very loud.*
Theron: God, I need Caffeine. But the story comes first.
The trio made it into the next room. It was a recreation of a forest outside. Even moonlight was around. Up ahead the exit was in plain view. However, a Stone Statue was in front of it.
Therony: Well this should be easy.
After a futitle attempt to move it. The statue came to life and spoke.
Statue: To get past me you must answer three riddles.
The trio stood side by side as the first riddle is being said. There was 8 minutes remaining.
Statue: I'm reach into the depths of the earth and the air for survival. And can have varied colors what am I?
Therony grinned after three minutes.
Therony: Simple enough. Is it a tree? It's roots go into the earth and reached the sky for sunlight. And depends on the time of the year can have different leaves of color.
Statue: You are correct. I'm the giver of life and the destroyer of worlds. My progress cannot be stopped only hindered. What am I?
Caracal laughed. And answered in inside a minute.
Caracal: Is it Water? Without it nothing can live. And it wears away rock and soil.
Statue: That is correct. Without me nothing can live, I represent alot of things without me. Everything will be cold and distant. What am I?
Silence followed. They couldn't figure this one out. There was only a sparse 30 seconds left now. It was then the angel plushie who floated and pointed to Therony's chest.
Therony: Huh?
Twenty seconds were left.
Caracal: We better come up with the right answer or else its game over.
Therony's eyes widened when he stared at his love's cruel form.
Therony: The heart! It's the heart!
Ten seconds left.
Statue: That is correct.
It faded away. five seconds. four.. three. two.. one.. The group looked back into the chamber from the door of another room. This one having a fountain in the middle.
Caracal: I don't understand.
Therony: Neither did I till I looked at her carefully. The heart means love, courage, life, even a valentine. Without it many things can't live. Even if they could. There would be no emotion. It would be cold and distant like he said. Thanks angel.
The plushie nodded only in response. As Therony dunked his head into the waters of the fountain. Getting a drink before coming back up.
Therony: Well that's it isn't it. Where is the fiend!?!
Theron: Well I'm done. Now if you'll excuse me.
Heads into the fridge and downs a two litre pepsi in one sitting.
Sean: And so they came to the final test - the Thunder test. It looked like the Thunder Planes from Final Fantasy ten.
Jeremy: What the hell does that look like?
Sean: It's kind of a wasteland filled with Thunder Towers and Thunder. Anyway, our group walked down and bumped into some guard guy.
EC: This looks so familiar.
Caracal: Look - some guard guy.
They walk over.
Guard: ........
Caracal: Aren't you meant to say something?
Guard: Well, yes but it's been so long since EC played the section of FFX which activates Dark Ixion that he's forgotten what I said.
Therony: What's a "Dark Ixion"?
EC: Very painful!
Caracal: WHAT THE HELL?! How the hell can you be here?!
EC: Vwaoo!!!!
Caracal: Stop that! You're not Gau!
EC: Funny you should mention him...
Therony: Talk about talking to yourself.
Caracal: My point is how can you be here? I represent you in the story so you can't be here.
EC: All right - Everyone who's fought Dark Ixion, raise you're hand.
Caracal raises his paw.
EC: Except Caracal.
Therony: We can't. Our version of Final Fantasy ten is inferior to the European version. We don't get the Dark Aeons like the Europeans do, thus making them our superiors.
Everyone got on their knees and started to bow at EC's feet and Caracal's paws.
Caracal: Stop that - we have a BO story to do!
Everyone got up and EC vanished.
Caracal: Oh, before I forget.....
Caracal first picked up a piece of armour and strapped it to his wrist. His HP count went from 9999 to 99999.
Therony: How the hell did you do that?
Caracal: Break HP Limit. It's an Auto Ability in my armour.
Therony: ?
Caracal: Final Fantasy ten thing.
Therony: Ah. OK.
Caracal: Anyway.
Caracal picked up a phone, dialled, spoke for a bit then hung up a few seconds later.
Therony: What was that all about?
Caracal: You'll see.
Suddenly, out of no where some grown up and a kid came. From atop some tower thingy a blackish horse jumped down. It had a curved horn on it's head.
Dark Ixion: Nay!!!!
"Thundaja" appeared at the top of the screen.
Nerd: That doesn't sound so tough!
99999 appeared on the Nerd, like it does in FF games. The Nerd fell over dead.
Therony: O_O We're..... screwed.......
Dark Ixion ran up to Caracal, and sliced him with his horn thing. Caracal was thrown backwards. 57452 appeared on him when he was struck. He got up, equipped a claw and ran over to Dark Ixion. He slashed him. 99999 appeared on Dark Ixion.
Therony: How the hell did you do that?
Caracal: Break Damage Limit.
Theorny: Why is Dark Ixion in the Thunder Trail anyway?
Caracal: Dark Ixion is a Dark Aeon from Final Fantasy ten. He is also the Aeon that represents the element Thunder.
Therony: Makes sense.
Dark Ixion made it's way towards our heroes. It slashed Caracal again, doing 42546 on him.
Caracal: CRAP! I'm down to 1 HP.
Therony: We're doomed! DOOMED!
Golbez: Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom...!
Caracal: I thought Golbez was sane.
Mr. T: Well that foo' Golbez was being tortured by Nerds for hours before I rescued the succa!
Therony: It's Mr. T! When did he come in?
Caracal: I called him, and asked him to rescue Golbez.
Mr. T: That's right succa! Besides, that Ikonboardia succa foo' has been destroying my Youth Centres!
Dark Ixion: Nay!
Dark Ixion sliced Mr. T with it's horn. Half of the horn broke off the minute it touched Mr. T.
Dark Ixion: Nay?
Mr. T: You are tough Dark Ixion foo', but you ain't helluva tough like me - Mr. T!
Golbez was suddenly dressed as a cheerleader.
Golbez: Go T! Go T! Go T! Go T! Go T! Give me an M! Give me an R! Give me a Dot! Give me a T! What does that spell? Mr.T!
Caracal: O_o
Therony: O_o
Mr. T: O_o
Dark IxionI: Nay? O_o
Adult Summoner: O_o
Child Summoner: O_o
Caracal: He's been with Nerds for God knows how long. Cut him some slack.
Mr. T walked over to Dark Ixion and punched it. He then picked it up and threw it helluva far. Therony walked over to Golbez and began to slap some sense into him - literally. A few seconds later, Golbez was back to his normal self.
Cecil: Hey - why didn't I say anything?
Caracal: I thought you were in Baron Castle! Anyway people, let's mosey!
Golbez: Who made you boss?
Caracal: You're right. Who did?
Mr. T: All right succas, lets go and throw that foo' Ikonboardia helluva far!
Caracal, Cecil, Golbez and Therony: YEAH!
Sean: The four.... Uh five of them ran off through the last door and came into Ikonboardia's main chamber.
Ikonboardia: Well done. You managed to survive my trials.
Ikonbaordia flicked a switch and Sujen fell down. Golbez ran over to her, rescued her from her cage and brought her back to the saftey of the group.
Ikonboardia: Gu Mo When Chi Goudy Chow! Gu Mo When Chi Goudy Chow! Gu Mo When Chi Goudy Chow!
Caracal: What the hell?
Golbez: I feel sleepy....
Therony: Very sleep.....
Sujen: I can't keep my eyes open....
Cecil: Zzzzz.....
Mr. T: I don't feel nothing succa!
Ikonboardia: Curses. DEMONS! ATTACK Mr. T'S VAN!!!!
Demons: Yes sir!
Mr. T ran after the Demons. Everyone else fell asleep.
Sean: Oh no! Our heroes have fallen asleep, into some kind of Mental Trail. First they had Physical Trails and now Mental Trials. And Mr. T is protecting his van so he can't save them! What will our heroes do? Tune in next time when one of the heroes die. Make sure you bring a bottle of champagne to help celebrate.
Person who's gona die: HEY!
Sean: I was only joking!
Sean secretly gets a champagne bottle ready and two glasses, one of which is for a sexy Bond girl.
Meanwhile, in some remote village.
Dark Ixion: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Ash: Hey, Pikachu. I just realised we're a pair of gay, anoying bastards who no one really likes.
Pikachu: Pika Pika!
Dark Ixion fell from the sky and somehow skewerd both Ash and Pikachu with the remains of it's horn. Because they were so weak, they were killed. Everyone in the world cheered.
Dark Ixion: Damn. That Mr. T can throw helluva far.... I mean "Nay"!
Jeremy: You guys, it has been swell writing with you, this has truly been special for me.
Theron and EC: ????