the one with Gondor

Arizona Green Tea (with ginseng and honey!)? Check. Hot Pockets? Check. Sardonic contempt? Check.

Let's do it. Oh, wait. That was last week's episode.

Greenwich Village. The now. It's a nice looking studio loft apartment type thing with a monthly rent that probably costs more than my entire college education. Then again, that's not saying much. Someone's knocking on the door. A lot. A woman pulls her naked self out of bed and throws on the minmum amount of clothes to answer the door. She runs into a table, knocking over a wooden figurine. She picks up the little fella and carries it with her to the door, which she opens to reveal a worried looking blonde woman. Her name is Helen and she's looking for Stacy, who never came home last night. Hey Helen, forget Stacy. Have you seen her mom? She's got it goin' on. Helen asks if LoftLady ran into Stacy at the Boiler Room. LoftLady hasn't seen Stacy "at all tonight." Except it's the middle of the day. So, that's just weird. Helen asks about the little wooden guy. LoftLady says she picked it up at in estate sale. He's a minor demon, like Abraxas... or Forkus, the demon of pronged tableware. I briefly wonder if maybe I'm watching the wrong show and maybe Stacy is Buffy's new name, like the time she ran off to Los Angeles and became Anne. LoftLady assures Helen that Stacy's probably just passed out on someone's couch. Oh, that's comforting. A woman stirs in LoftLady's bed. Back at the doorway, Helen says she's only waiting a few more hours before calling the police. Jeez, paranoid much? And they can't do anything until it's been 24 hours, lady. HarriedHelen leaves. LoftLady makes her way back to the bed. "Who was that?" asks BedGirl. "Your girlfriend," is LoftLady's reply. Then they have a threesome with Forkus.

Doop doo doo doot doo doot doo do do do. Lightswitch rave! Oh, man, if only The Cheat were here.

Straightville. Jenny's all done up with blue eyeshadow and a short leather skirt. Jenny? 1984 called. They want their stuff back. She asks Tim what he's doing there. He lives there, you crazy bitch. He says the same thing, sans the crazy bitch part. Jenny thought he'd be a practice. But he's here, taking up space in his own kitchen, making up a study schedule for Trish so her learning challenged ass can stay on the swim team. Tim looks up and actually notices that she's all dressed up looking hot in her outdated retrowear. Dammit, STOP MAKING US LIKE HIM. It only makes it harder. She says she's going to The Planet to write. Great idea! Tim invites himself along, saying he needs to get out of the house. Jenny's face is all, "What? You can't come with me to a public place! I've got an appointment to flaunt myself at my lesbian lover."

Bed. In a house. Dana and CrispyLara are all nekkid under the sheets. Dana's whining that she's embarrassed about something. CrispyLara strokes her hair and tells her that it's okay and it's "perfectly normal." She continues say, "It doesn't change the way I feel about you... Or how much pleasure you gave me." Dana makes a face and hides under the blankets. The editor was kind enough to cut to the cat (Cat! These MUST BE real lesbians!) so that I don't choke on too much of The Cute this early in the episode.

BossyBette and Tina's House-o-Domestic Bliss. Tina's making some disgusting concoction she calls a "sandwich." She's so pregnant. The olives gave her away. BossyBette actually makes an effort to show affection until Tina crams what looks like a sardine in her mouth. Ew. I wouldn't kiss her either. BB leaves for work.

The Planet. Tim works on his study schedule while Jenny writes. And by "writes" I mean she stares at the counter, mentally undressing ProRina. I'll bet it Tim looked over at Jenny's notebook, he'd see that she's actually just playing MASH over and over again until she gets the desired result where she's married to ProRina and doesn't live in a shack. ProRina catches Jenny staring at her and suddenly walks into the restroom. Jenny looks befuddled for a moment, then turns to Tim and says she'll "be right back." Tim's so engrossed in his paperwork that she probably could have told him that she shot fire out of her ass and he wouldn't have blinked.

BB and Tina's Kitchen. The Lovely Leisha Hailey is marveling over the fact that you can purchase pregnancy tests in bulk. Yes, TLLH, there's a magical wonderland called Costo. Remember that episode of "Mad About You" when they when to the Costco-type place and got the five gallon jar of mayonnaise and then they didn't know what to do with it and so they kept trying to pawn mayonnaise off on people? Comic gold. Tina says she'd have more respect for the box of pregnancy tests if the pictures on it were honest. Tina, honey? It's a box. I worry about her sometimes. They propose that one side of the box have "some sobbing infertile woman with a negative test stick in her hand" and the other side feature "a teenage girl with a positive one, about to hang herself." These two should totally be in charge of decorations for the office Christmas party. Maybe we can have an anatomically-correct accurate Miracle of Birth nativity scene where the Virgin Mary just pops out the Baby Jesus every half an hour. That'd be fun.

The Planet Restroom. Jenny enters, all cool, like she's just there to graffiti on the walls. For a good time, call 867-5309. ProRina's posed in the first stall like she's America's Next Top Model. Jenny slips into the stall as ProRina shuts the door behind her.

"How do you not pee on your hand?" asks TLLH. Uh, well, I generally just keep it out of the way. Oh, Tina's taking her pregnancy test. And did we REALLY need to see that? TLLH is standing, like, right over Tina. Personal space, people! They talk more about peeing, but I'm just gonna leave it alone. I just think TLLH should probably take a sixth grade health class at some point in the future. Tina says that when she was in high school, she thought you could get pregnant by giving a guy a blow job. TLLH used to think it was possible to get pregnant through your pants. You can. If they're crotchless. Tina asks TLLH is she's sure she wants "to go back to men." I wasn't aware that bisexuals had to announce their current preference. I mean, aren't they just, like, bisexual all the time? Or is there a rotation? I'm so confused. If any registered and licensed bisexuals could write in and explain, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. Aaaaaanyway, TLLH's had "enough drama and mindfucks and women are fucking crazy." Tina says that men are boring. But TLLH can hang with that because she's into the "boring boy/girl sex masquerading as love." Ew. I don't want to hear about your dirty hetero tendencies, TLLH. Next thing you know, they'll want the right marry and adopt kids. What a world.

The Planet. Jenny and ProRina are scammin' it up in the bathroom stall like they're a couple of high school kids. Out in the café, Tim realizes that Jenny's been in the bathroom for a while. Dammit, Tim, why you gotta express concern? Jenny and ProRina are still going at it. And Ramon Montoya, sex choreographer to the stars, has given us yet another smashing dose of realism. Tim pops into the bathroom. What? Ever heard of knocking before entering the women's room? He asks Jenny if she's okay. And I really can't believe that he doesn't see ProRina's feet under the stall. Jenny puts her hand over ProRina's mouth. The SAME hand that was just in her pants. No comment. She exits the stall, saying that she doesn't like these unisex bathrooms (Ooooooh.) because it's shocking to hear a man's voice. Yeah, I hate hearing a man's voice when I'm having sex with a woman, too. She continues on about how men pee everywhere. Tim says he'll try and be considerate and steps into the stall next to ProRina's. Why all the peeing?! And he doesn't even shut the door.

Tina's Kitchen of Blatantly Executed Foreshadowing. Tina's reading the paper and eating something that I'm sure is really gross and only for soon to be revealed pregnant ladies. TLLH runs down the hall, carrying the pregnancy test saying, "Oh my god, oh my god." Oh my god, you're touching a stick that Tina peed on. The test is positive. They perform the Happy Hopping Dance of Conception. Tina says she's so cliche with all the food she's been eating. You think? Kit enters from the back patio. TLLH relays the news. Kit asks if BossyBette knows. See, Kit's totally aware that BB's gonna be majorly PO'd if she knows anyone found out before she did. Even though she works full time and never has time to talk to Tina while she's in the office.

Next Door. Tim's about to take Trish the study schedule he's spent so many hours working out. Honestly, how long did that take? I've seen Dawn Summers translate ancient Sumerian texts faster than that. The phone rings. It's for Jenny. Someone named Nick Barashkoff. Jenny tells Nick that she killed off Sarah Schuster.

Tina's making Kit and TLLH promise not to tell BossyBette they knew about the baby first. See? Kit tells Tina she has to start being good and stop having fun. "I know," says Tina, "No red meat, no additives, no margaritas, wine, beer. And no Xanax. No matter how stressed out I get." You know, she should have stopped taking Xanax as soon as they started trying to get pregnant. "No more smack, crack, and no more blow," jokes TLLH. Or, at least, I think she's joking. Tina wants to do everything right and suddenly realizes that she and BB are about to start a family. TLLH leaves and Kit tells Tina that there's some mail she was supposed to pick up. Tina grabs an envelope and hands it to her. It's from someone named David. Kit gives Tina a hug and tells her to call BB before she explodes. That's an image.

Jenny prances around the kitchen, still on the phone with Nick the Prick. I just have a feeling, okay? Tim grabs a bottle of Perrier from the fridge and cracks it open. So manly. Jenny would "absa-absa-absolutely love to" do something with Nick the Prick. She then fawns all over the news that he now has a tan and asks if he looks like George Hamilton. Tim watches the conversation from the next room, then grabs his duffel bag, leaving the Perrier on his desk.

Office of BossyBette, Vice President in charge of Bossiness. She's on the phone. James the BitchBoy pops in the doorway to tell her something about 2005 and that Tina's still on line three. She ends her conversation and switches to line three, telling Tina that she can't talk. Tina tells her that it's fine, she just needs BB to promise that she'll be home for dinner. BB can't promise. Tina stuffs her face as she talks. I think she's acting more stoned than pregnant. And no one said anything about cutting out the pot. She tells BB she'll take care of her and "make it all better." BossyBette says, "The only way you could make it all better is if you come up with a show for her BIG GAPING SPRING SLOT." Really. I wish I'd made that up. Tina doesn't look too happy about BB's BGSS. BitchBoy reappears to tell her that Sheldon Tomlin's on line two. Don't they have an intercom? BB curses the name of Sheldon Tomlin and tells Tina she can't talk, but she'll try to get home for dinner. Okay, from this point on, if she gets pissed about other people finding out about the baby, I'm gonna punch her. Except, since she's not here, I'll have to punch this stuffed version of The Fish from The Cat in the Hat. So, BB, for the sake of The Fish, I hope you've got your shit together. She switches lines to talk to Sheldon Tomlin and tells him she's willing to book The Impressionists. But oops... sounds like that's not gonna happen. BitchBoy rushes past the doorway, saying that HeadArtCenterMan is on his way. BitchBoy pulls the door shut. HACMan comes down the hall as BitchBoy leans on the closed office door. Inside the office, BB gathers her things and puts on her jacket. HACMan asks if BB is in her office. He says no. HACMan tells BitchBoy to tell BB about an unscheduled board meeting tomorrow night. HACMan talks past BitchBoy through the door saying, "She would be well-advised to attend." BB opens the door cheerfully asking why he's talking to her door. She gracefully ducks out, saying she's got a meeting with Bernard Riddle who's looking to hand $500,000 to a gallery that's doing anything "remotely progressive." HACMan says that Bernard Riddle's way out of her league. She says that he might be out of the CAC's league, but certainly not hers. Damn, she just doesn't quit. She's like a maniac. A MANIAC! Oh please, be glad I waited this long to spring that one on you.

The Planet. TLLH finds Dana and Smoothie, telling them she just saw the cutest guy she's ever seen. Dana looks terribly bummed out about something. TLLH asks if something happened with CrispyLara. Dana declares that her sex life is over, saying she's, "never been more humiliated or embarrassed or ashamed of anything in [her] entire life." TLLH throws out a couple of horrible sex scenarios: Being tied up and left behind. Sneezing while on the giving end of oral copulation. But no, neither of those are Dana's problem. Smoothie brings up a common occurrence with women and sex (rhymes with "quiche") that Dana's never heard of. She whispers something to TLLH. Turns out Dana's a contender for a specialty section of the adult video store. In other words, she female ejaculated. Some days I love recapping this show... others, not so much. Both TLLH and Smoothie are very impressed and tell her she should be "totally and utterly ecstatic" about it. TLLH spots the aforementioned cute guy. It's Krackow from My So-Called Life! Except Smoothie calls him "Lisa." She jumps up and greets him, introducing LisaKrackow to her friends. TLLH's phone rings. It's her mom. She wanders off. LisaKrackow asks about TLLH. Smoothie says to "forget it" because TLLH doesn't want to be a lesbian anymore. But I thought she was always BI-sexual. I don't know. Smoothie explains about the CrabbyTheSelfishWonderMonkey situation. LisaKrackow says that it's a shame and "no reason to swear off being a lesbian" and that maybe he can change her mind. Much like me, Dana's confused. LisaKrackow is a Lesbian Identified Man. Oh, so he's a LIM AKA WTF?!? I trust that they'll fill me in. Oh please, L Word deities, bestow your bounteous knowledge up on me. TLLH hangs up the phone and tells everyone that her mother's in town at The Plaza and there's been some sort of misunderstanding. She leaves, but not before she's completely smitten with Lisa.

The Plaza. TLLH and Mom of TLLH meet in the lobby. MoT says she's in town because she's got the lead in the new Gerard Lichtman film. Apparently, there's been some kind of problem with the payment for the hotel. A couple interrupts, telling MoT that they loved her in "Dynasty." Except that was Joan Collins. Bwaha. MoT was on a different series. She calls them morons and convinces TLLH to go talk to the hotel clerk. TLLH learns that all of MoT's credit cards were declined and tries to get the clerk to hold the balance until MoT gets paid for the film. Those wacky actors, with the celebrity treatment. The clerk understands what she's saying but "she's over her limit." TLLH says she'll just take care of the bill. Okay, it's $5,968.42. Holy crap.

TLLH's Car. MoT guarantees TLLH that she's good for the huge ass chunk of change her daughter just forked over on her behalf. She'll pay her back as soon as production begins. TLLH suggests hocking her pants.

Tim and Jenny's Living Room of Luv. Tim's watching TV while Jenny reclines on the couch. After a moment, she slides down onto the floor next to Tim and cuddles up to him. This is one of those rare times when he becomes: Tim the Generalized Stereotypical Straight Man and doesn't take his eyes off the TV. He asks her if Nick the Prick is in town. She says he is... but that Tim shouldn't worry because Nick the Prick is a "pretentious asshole who milks his minor literary stature by fucking these impressionable young under grads." Yes Jenny, THAT's the way to keep your boyfriend from getting jealous. Talk about his sexual conquest. I'm assuming she was one of them. And again, I'm reminded of how much Jenny is my ex who had a thing about older men in positions of power and blow jobs. No, I did not date Monica. But she did really "admire" Bill Clinton. She asks Tim to give her some credit. He doesn't really respond, because he's currently Tim the GSSM. She tries to kiss him, but he reminds her that the men's slalom is currently on and he's been waiting all wee for it. Tim, buddy, we need to talk. She pretends to care then goes right for the penis. Or the remote. Whatever. They're the same. She tosses the remote and continues to annoy the crap out of Tim the GSSM until he realizes that she wants sex, not the "cuddly-cuddly" so Tim the GSSM is suddenly okay with it. Cut to sweaty, grunty, thrusty sex, the way the missionaries do it. Tim the GSSM has been replaced by Regular Tim because in the middle of everything he notices Jenny's kind of staring off into space. That, and he didn't make them have sex in a way that he could still see the TV. "Where are you?" he asks. From Jenny's POV, we see ProRina's face where Tim's should be. She says she's right there. Tim says it looks like she's somewhere else. Maybe Tim's a LIM. Jenny lies and says she's not anywhere but right there with him and pulls him closer to her. They start back up and, this time, Jenny remembers to fake it.

BossyBette's home! And she's so happy! Not! "I am fucking dying out there," she proclaims, not even saying hello to her dear pregnant life partner. Oh wait, she doesn't know. Wait, let me get The Fish. Okay. She continues to rant until she notices that there are three place settings at the table, which immediately causes her to begin bitching about having to make dinner conversation. She notices that the third plate is holding the pregnancy test. Oh, ew. Tina peed on that stick! They'd better throw that plate out and never eat off of it again. Surprisingly, BB is not pissed about the pee-stick-on-a-plate, and instead, kisses Tina and professes her love for her. She even apologizes for being an asshole. You're not BB! Who the hell are you? BB and Tina proceed to be cute and lovey. I hope this doesn't last long. I'm sure Dana and CrispyLara will have a scene later and I can only tolerate so much of The Cute.

The Planet. TLLH orders a triple shot from ProRina and tells Dana and Smoothie that MoT is now living with her until her job starts. Dana still brooding. TLLH asks, "What is it, Dana, are you having embarrassing multiple orgasms now?" HA! Nope, that's not it. CripsyLara hasn't called since The Incident and that was a whole 21 hours ago. As much as I want to make fun of her, I totally do the same thing. With the phone calls and the time. Not with the female ejaculation. Lord Jesus. TLLH asks how they "left it." Dana left without saying anything. From her own apartment. BossyBette and Tina enter, ProRina hands Tina a drink made special for the baby. TLLH spills that she was excited and told ProRina. Smoothie jumps in to congratulate them. From the look on BB's face, I think The Fish is in for it. Dana has no idea what's going on. ProRina tells her about the baby. "Why am I always the last to know these things?" "That's okay, Dana, I was second to last," BB says, sounding relatively calm. Hmm... The Fish may live to tell the tale. THE CUTE ALERT! CrispyLara enters, carrying a single red rose. Dana turns and sees her. Neither of them says anything. "This is where you take the flower," suggests TLLH. Dana shoots her a The Look that makes me love Erin Daniels even more for all time. Dana hugs CrispyLara and apologizes. Maybe I should find out if LensCrafters offers a The Cute reflective coating. Otherwise I'll be totally blind before the end of the season. Smoothie says that they're, "So fucking cute." "I know, yuck," replies TLLH.

Outside The Planet. Oh crap. Sorry, The Fish. BossyBette tells Tina that she could have waited until after TLLH left to do the pregnancy test. Well, she could have at least stood more than three feet away. BB bitchily suggests that TLLH be Tina's Lamaze partner and that she's surprised Tina didn't invite her to join them for the ultrasound. *BAM* *POW* *CRACK* That was me punching The Fish, Batman-style. And, OH MY GOD, that is so obscene. Anyone remember "Fins, Femmes, and Gems," the Xena episode where Xena's obsessed with fishing and she catches them my punching them in the mouth? Yeah. Let's not talk about it anymore. Tina's visibly aghast at BB's behavior and BB actually noticed and apologizes. That's twice in 24 hours. Jesus. Is she channeling Jenny's bipolarity? Tina asks if it's wrong that she wants to have someone to share a moment with. BB says it's not wrong, it's sad.

CU Swimming Pool. Randy and Tim are coaching the swim team. They're not swimming very fast. And, suddenly, a slew of "breast stroke" jokes run rampant in my mind. Trish runs toward them, apologizing for being late. Tim tells her to turn right back around. He tells her to take some responsibility. CU later, Trish. Randy asks what the hell he's doing. Tim says they can't just let her do her own thing, but Randy makes him go anyway.

The Ultrasound. Tina's propped up on the table/bed with BossyBette holding her hand. There's a vibrating sound and I'm worried that we're going to have to endure Dr. Ruth's office sex fetish once again. Oh, it's just BB's phone. You're supposed to turn those things off in the doctor's office, BB. Dammit. She bitches out the person on the other end and hangs up. Dr. Ruth lubes up the internal ultrasound device and just sticks that baby right inside, asking Tina if she's comfortable. Why do doctors always make us lie to them? We see ovaries and a tiny heartbeat. Or an invisible peanut if you're Rachel Green. BB gets a look on her face very similar to the time she had Stendhal Syndrome. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

TLLH's car. MoT is yammering on about Gerard Lichtman. She and TLLH argue about how to get to Pico Boulevard. MoT suggests that TLLH might have a girlfriend by now if she'd take better care of herself. TLLH calls another driver a "fucking fucker." Hee. That's so me on the southbound 405. She screeches to a stop in front of some fancy L.A. restaurant and lets MoT out of the car. She drives up the street, then stops as she looks in the mirror and sees MoT crossing the street to a different building.

Dank Production Office. TLLH walks down a hallway lined with posters of bad "B" movies with titles like "Monastery of Evil," "Death Never Dies," and "Glitter." The sounds of people screaming and spouting bad horror dialogue are everywhere. We see more posters for "12 Steps to Hell" and "Gondor." Heh. Gondor. TLLH turns the corner to find a waiting room full of women. A woman with a clipboard tells her to sign in at the front desk to get her sides. TLLH picks up some pages off the desk and asks, "What is this?" "It's an open call," explains Clipboard, "For the part of Miss Simons, Alien 1, 2, and 3, and Ted's grandmother." TLLH reads the title ("Curse of the Romians: Return to Gondor, Part 2") and asks if it's a Lichtman film. No, it's a Matt Freed from Pasadena film. Clipboard says he's an asshole. TLLH walks into the next room to find MoT, along with about twenty other women. She ducks out of the room before MoT or Gondor can see her.

It's a ma-an! Naked. In the locker room shower. But it's no one we know. Tim's getting dressed. Randy tells him that he can't be hard on Trish because the team needs her, then hands Tim a copy of the Physics mid-term she'll be taking on Monday. Tim says, "There's no way [he's] just turning that test over to Trish." He's sure she'll pay good money. Or at least have sex with him for it. Randy explains that it's simply to help him know how to tutor Trish. Oh. Randy says Tim's really tense and offers to take him out for a beer. Like a date. But for straight guys. Tim says he can't because Jenny's out with Nick the Prick. "Wait, not the blow job [professor]," says Randy. He can't believe Tim would let his fiancee go out with someone she's played Popsicle Stand with. Tim says he doesn't own her. Randy disagrees and spouts some crap about how she's not her own woman ever since she put on the ring and said "yes." Randy gets his logic from The Year Four. As in, 4 A.D. Tim says he's not into the caveman vibe. Randy says it has nothing to do with cavemen. Yeah, Tim, cavemen were long gone buy The Year Four. However, Randy makes a valid point saying, "You don't trust her, you don't marry her." Weird. He must have found that in a fortune cookie. Tim says he trusts Jenny.

CAC Board Meeting of Doom. BossyBette walks in to find a table full of cranky people. She takes a seat, saying she'll "forego the blindfold." They don't think that's funny. They're cranky. HACMan says that her position of museum director is simply more than pulling collections out of hats.

Jenny and Nick the Prick are having drinks in some swanky restaurant. She asks what he thought of her latest story and that she values his opinion, calling him brilliant and wonderfully smart. He asks what she thinks of his tie. Fucking sleazy. Hey, she said it. He calls her story "utter bullshit," but beautifully written. It's about mating for life and commitment. He wants to know where her edge went. "Where's the girl who masturbated in church?" he asks. Hey, don't look at me. Nick the Prick tells her that she's more complex than some lovey dovey "we'd die for each other" crap and that commitment is dreary. It's "not her thing." He asks her to tell him something interesting. "I've been doing these really terrible things," she says.

The CAC. Peggy Peabody and her flock of canine counterparts rapidly move down the hall. BitchBoy asks if he can help her. She says looking for BossyBette Porter or Sandra Rosen. Or maybe Rosenbloom. I can't tell. Like it matters. BitchBoy tells her they're in a meeting. She hands him the dogs and busts into the boardroom, telling BitchBoy not to stop her if he wants to "go on living and breathing." She tells the board that if they fire BossyBette she'll be forced to take Provocations somewhere else. HACMan says he thought Provocations was going to MOMA. Peggy says it's coming to CAC as long at BossyBette's the one to preside over it. HACMan jumps in and BS's that BossyBette isn't going anywhere for at least six months. Peggy works her looney art gal magic and ensures that BossyBette will be getting the sweetest deal possible saying, "By the time Provocations debuts at the CAC, [BossyBette] will already have been wooed by every museum in the country." Wooed. I heart you, Peggy Peabody.

Nick the Prick is astounded by Jenny's affair with ProRina. Well, maybe not astounded. But he sure thinks it's neat that she's in love with another woman. Jenny doesn't think it's love, but rather, some kind of "fantastic sort of demon possession." Sometimes, the demon Forkus tries to possess my eye. Nick the Prick says it's exciting and exotic. Jenny calls him a pervert. He encourages her to write about ProRina instead of Tim the LIM.

Speak of the devil... er, demon... er, straight guy. Tim's home. Jenny's not.

Nick the Prick's hotel room. A knock at the door. Hey! It's Tim. Who knew? "I'm looking for Jenny. And I can just bet you're gonna tell me she's not here," he says. "She's... not here," replies Nick the Prick. He tells Tim that she left after dinner, which was about fifteen minutes ago and even offers to let Tim have a look around the room while he fixes him a drink. Tim jumps on the offer and barges in.

The Planet. Jenny enters and approaches ProRina, asking is she can spare a minute. Of course she can. They disappear into ProRina's office as Smoothie and TLLH witness the entire exchange.

Nick the not so Prick genuinely offers to make Tim a drink. Tim tells him to cut the bullshit. Oh, that's where the Prick went. Nick the not so Prick assure Tim that his relationship with Jenny is "purely intellectual." Tim can't stand that kind of dirty talk so he leaves, but no before Nick the not so Prick congratulates him on the engagement.

Ramon Montoya, sex choreographer to the stars, presents us with a variation of the scene we saw in the bathroom stall. ProRina and jenny are doing it up against ProRina's desk. But, uh oh. Tim's outside, looking around The Planet for Jenny. You know, his fiancee? TLLH bursts into the office and, upon seeing the sex choreography in front of her, get the patented "Dude, my friends are having sex, right now" look on her face and tells them that, "There's no time for pleasantries, ‘cause Tim is outside the bar." But it's crowded and he'll never see her come out of the office as long as TLLH covers her. This whole time, ProRina just stands there like the stud that she is.

Pool Party at BossyBette and Tina's! BB comes home and Kit congratulates her on the day's big art conquest. BB asks Kit about the letter from David. Kit shows it to her. It's actually a packet of forms for a medical history with a Post-It attached. The Post-It is a very formal note from Kit's son David saying he needs her medical history for a residency program. Out in the backyard, The Gang, plus MoT and CrispyLara, give BB a cheer and Tina toasts her with champagne. But just the one sip. Because, you know, there's the baby.

Jenny's writing again. Oh lord, what is it this time? She goes on about how Abraxas, the demon of lies, is fucking with her head. This is the part where I recommend the brilliant Buffy/Faith fan fic as written by Jenny, written by mad_typist from the TwoP boards. Genius, I tell you. This segues into a pretty cool segment where Nick the Prick appears as Abraxas and talks about lies while we see the various types of falsehoods executed by the individuals at the party next door. "Lies told out of kindness. Lies that preserve dignity." We see MoT telling Smoothie she hasn't had any work done and asks her how old she thinks she is. "Lies that spare pain." Smoothie guesses thirty-five, maybe forty and lights MoT's cigarette. Abraxas the Prick points out BB and Tina as Tina tells BB that they would have been okay even if the board meeting had gone badly and he points out their need to touch each other and avert their eyes. "They embellish their stories with far too much detail." MoT is telling some grand, obviously made up, tale about some acting experience. I can't really focus on her, because she's overshadowed by all The Cute that Dana and CrispyLara are radiating behind her. Tim comes out to the OGStTB and watches her through the window before he comes in. Jenny tell him about how Nick the Prick ripped her latest work to shreds. He offers to leave her alone, but she asks him to stay with her. He kneels in front of her and they have a very sweet moment where they look into each others eyes and hug. Dammit. I can't end the recap just yet, because I'm grooving to the song. Oh wait, it's over now.

Okay. See you next week. And by week I mean in about five minutes when I start the next recap.