the one with the fake Illeana Douglas

Hey, lookie here! I found the damn episode! Whee! Now, normally I watch the episode all the way through one time just for my personal enjoyment and/or enrichment, but since I've made y'all wait so long, I will be recapping during my initial viewing of the episode. Screw my lazy ass tv watching, this is about you guys! Also, I just started a new job, so I'm slightly sleep deprived. But that same sleep deprivation is what brought you this damn site in the first place.

Imperviously on "The L Word": Something happened. AHHHH! The death of TheCute! I haven't been this disturbed by "previouslies" since they kept showing poor Tara get shot at the opening of EVERY Buffy episode since "Seeing Red." And I'm such a geek that I knew that episode title without looking it up.

Okay. Santa Paula, CA. 1968. Lilty vocal music and someone on a horse. I hope it's Lucy Liu in that opening bit on "Charlie's Angels." It's not. It's just some regular, non-Angel girls talking about how one of them is going away to Europe. Aw, the other girl is gonna miss her. So she's going to make out with her, right here, in the stables. I think I read a Chloe/Lana "Smallville" fic that started out just like this. But after a moment, EuroGirl pushes her away, asking her what she's doing. KissGirl says she was just going with the moment because it felt right. EuroGirl says, "People have all kinds of feelings. It doesn't mean we're supposed to act on them."

The theme music sounds slightly different to me this week. It might be because the bass balance is off on this copy of the ep. Or maybe it's just one of the club remixes.

The PoorTards'! Bette's new name is Biceps, by the way. So, Biceps tells Tina she doesn't want to go into whatever double doors they're about to walk through. Tina says that if they hate "it" they can just tell everyone that they're better than them. Or they can just pass judgment without ever meeting them. Biceps leans down and tells Lil' GayMo that she's only doing it for him. Or her. Whatever. It's a fetus. A Lil' GayMo fetus. Dr. Might Be a Redneck strikes again! He says, "Welcome, [Biceps] and Tina" and he over enunciates like he's the guy inside my answering machine. Quick automated telephone voice story: When I was in college, our recording for the automated class registration was this woman and the first round of messages went, "PRESS ONE FOR REGISTRATION FUNCTIONS! (pause) Press two to review your grades from last term." Maybe you just had to be there. The PoorTards take their seats in a circle with three other couples.

The Office Garage Studio that Tim Built, but Kicked Jenny Out of, but it Looks Like She Still Lives There. Jenny's home from a long day at whole foods market. By the way, it's those whole foods that made her gay. Everyone knows it. There's some Other Woman there waiting for her, playing loud rock music on the radio. They seem to know each other. OtherWoman asks what Jenny thinks of the band, which makes Jenny jump up and down like a silly goose. OtherWoman quickly turns off the music and says she knows Jenny thinks she sold out because now she's a real estate broker. She imparts wisdom, saying "It's cool to do something stupid and make a lot of money and then you can do whatever the hell you want." Jenny giggles and agrees. OtherWoman compliments her on her "apartment." Jenny asks if she thinks it has good energy. OtherWoman thinks "it's a toolshed." Heh.

The PoorTards' Circle of Life Therapy. Dr. MBaR is reading cards that say things like, "Sometimes I keep myself passive when I..." and then he touches someone, like, say... TINA... and then she has to finish the sentence. And she says, "...let [Biceps] make all the financial decisions in our lives. Even though we agreed-" but Dr. MBaR cuts her off, saying a simple declarative statement is good enough. Yeah, sure... get her to open up and then shut her down. Nice work, ass clown.

Jenny's Tool Shack. Jenny wishes she had a trust fund so she could just sit and write all day. OtherWoman says that "people with trust funds aren't tortured enough to write." Damn straight. OtherWoman asks if Jenny's still having sex with Tim, even though they broke up. Was there break up sex, hot angry sex, bored sex, fried sex, sex sandwich, sex salad, sex gumbo... oh, sorry. Jenny doesn't want to talk about Tim, saying it's a mood killer. OtherWoman says it's better that way, because she could never sleep when they would have sex when she was in the room. She then goes into a rendition of The Timgina Gruntologues, but Jenny makes her stop, saying it's evil to say negative things about Tim. OtherWoman thinks that's bullcrap. She asks if they'll be getting back together in a week. Jenny says it's definitely over.

It's the Circle of Life Real World Confessionals! Each member of the group is revealing their greatest fear about being a parent. BlueOxfordShirt thinks his kid will seem like an alien. No, that was Scully's alien baby on the X-Files. BlueRingerTeeShirt thinks he'll be bored being a stay at home dad. Oh, shut up. Take up Spanish soap operas as a hobby and get the fuck over it. Blah, blah, blah... parental fears exposed on the next Maury. And I'm beginning to think maybe these aren't all heterosexual couples. Whatever, we're all people just the same, dammit! Biceps passes on her turn. Tina knows they must have some fears because they came to the group. She settles on the fact that Marvin won't accept Lil' GayMo as his grandchild. Dr. MBaR is ready to move on, but Biceps speaks up saying she's afraid she "won't be a good enough provider." Dr. MBaR says that was good and that maybe eventually, she'll be able to say what she actually means. Ouch.

OtherWoman brought Jenny some wine, but they have to go over to Tim's to get the corkscrew. It's okay, Tim's not home. He's on a recruiting trip. OtherWoman says she's going to read his mail, wear is pants, and dance naked on his table. She's fun. I like her. And with friends like her, why is Jenny such a crazy bitch? Jenny climbs all over the clunky patio furniture to get the spare key. OtherWoman asks if Jenny thinks Tim's really away recruiting or if he's off with some woman. Jenny makes a face. OtherWoman asks if there's another woman. "Sort of," is Jenny's reply.

Kindergarten Naptime at the Circle of Life. PinkShirt is talking about the troubled kid he plans to adopt. Tina thinks that's admirable and mentions that she and Biceps were originally planning on adopting. SingleMother asks why they didn't. Biceps says that they didn't have a chance with some girl from the Midwest who'd never met a real lesbian before. Maybe Carnivale just never passed through her town. SingleMother says that would only matter if they were set on getting a newborn white baby. Someone asks what's wrong with white people wanting a white baby. Biceps follows up, saying that some people "want a family that looks like the family that they grew up in." SingleMother throws down, telling Biceps that she's portable gay pride parade but hasn't said jack shit about being an African American woman. She tells her about Wooden Alleymarcus, the big black man with all the sperm, and how they purposely chose him as a donor. You know, after they were denied the three way with some guy they didn't know. SingleMother tells Biceps that she needs to embrace who she is and not hide behind "the lightness of [her] skin." Biceps begins to tell off SingleMother, but Dr. MBaR tells them to save it until Thursday. PinkShirt tells Tina that SingleMother is just testing Biceps to "see if she has an ally" and that they should keep coming to the group. Tina says that she and Biceps both found it "interesting." PinkShirt points out that she hasn't even talked to Biceps about it yet, so how could she speak for the both of them? Tina corrects herself and says that she thought it was "really interesting.

Haspell's House of Hetero. OtherWoman and Jenny are sitting on Tim's WHITE couch drinking RED wine. I'm totally terrified of getting in trouble for spilling red drinks, because when I was little, there were all these signs all over the Sunday School room that said, "NO red punch, anywhere!!!" Of all the messages I took home from church, that's the one that stuck. OtherWoman is reveling in the fact that Jenny's the one who had the affair, not Time. She asks Jenny to tell her about "him." Jenny avoids all pronouns says they met at a party and that this person own a café. OtherWoman asks if "he" is funny. "Definitely not." Smart? Jenny doesn't know. Hot? Jenny bites her lip, then spits it out, "[ProRina's] definitely hot." OtherWoman laughs and says that girl on girl is the "one thing" she hasn't done. One thing? So she's done EVERYTHING else? Look, lady, I work in an adult video store and there's A LOT of things out there and I'd bet money that you haven't done them all before you'd subject yourself to lesbian action. And if you HAVE done everything else, please step into the detox chamber before breathing my air. Did anyone see "That 70's Show" with Alyson Hannigan? "I spent a semester in France and I do things American girls think are gross!" Bwaha! And that will segue me right back into this scene, because Aly (I can call her that because I'm the vice president of one of her fan clubs. Shut up.) played the Sarah Michelle Gellar character in the MTV Movie Awards spoof of "Cruel Intentions" and Mia Kirshner played "The Cruelest Girl" based on the same character in "Not Another Teen Movie." OtherWoman asks what she named ProRina in "the story." Jenny says she didn't do it for something to write about and starts to get misty eyed. OtherWoman consoles her, saying, "[ProRina] broke [Jenny's] heart."

The Planet. IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME. Sorry... it's just been a whole thirteen minutes and four seconds of episode with no Dana. We're looking at her "Get out. And stay out." Subaru ad. Smoothie and The Lovely Leisha Hailey sing her praises. TLLH is looking exceptionally cute in a green bandana and her Dr. Professional(tm - Strong Bad) glasses. ProRina asks her to sign it to both herself and Francesca. Also, I think her shirt got caught in the espresso machine because the whole bottom half is missing. "She's back?" asks TLLH. Smoothie suggests bringing her to Twat: The Night, Deal With It. ProRina asks Dana to sign the magazine with something special. TLLH recommends, "Dana Fairbanks. Professional Lesbian." Dana shoots her the patented "fuck off TLLH" look. She makes my tummy feel all funny inside. TLLH says the ad is "going wide next week." It'll be in all the major magazine. ProRina tell her she won't be able to keep the girls away, then she makes this "rwor, rwor" noise. Hold for laughter. And I mean my laughter. I'm a giggle box. Okay, ProRina says that Dana's parents must be proud of her. Oops. She never came out to them. Smoothie says that Subaru's about to do it for her. TLLH tells her that she needs to talk to her mother about it today. But she can't because she's got some thing with her "women's group." Her Orange County Republican Women's Group. And if my mom lived in Orange County... she'd totally be there, too. Dana gets upset and walks away, but TLLH follows her, apologizing for acting like an asshole. She tells Dana that she'll go with her to talk to her parents, saying that there's no way they'll make a scene in front of a bunch of people. She tries to reassure her, saying "I can look Republican." Hee.

The PoorTards'. Biceps is ranting about SingleMother. Tina is looking at her laptop. "I Googled her," she says, in reference to SingleMother. I love that "Googled" is a verb. And let the lesbian television character trivia book show that this is the second time a prime time lesbian has uttered that line. The first would be Willow Rosenberg in the Buffy episode "Help." And again, I didn't have to look that up. It's all stored up in the old think tank. Tina says that they're gonna have some fun with SingleMother, poet and author of "Sistah: Stand Up." BitchyBiceps says that she was the one who had her whole life attacked, not the both of them.

Tim's Bathroom. OtherWoman and Jenny have totally crashed Tim's pad. OtherWoman asks Jenny if she was always a lesbian. But Jenny never said she was a lesbian. OtherWoman wants to know if "it just came out of nowhere and bit [her] in the ass." No, but it pierced her bellybutton. OtherWoman says she loves women from companionship but she loves the penis. Jenny says she thinks she's bisexual. OtherWoman wants to know if this is just her way of telling her she had a huge crush on her in college. Nope. OtherWoman jokingly accuses her of lying and begin madly in love with her, then says she really needs to see ProRina. She wants to stalk her. Jenny says they can't, because The Girlfriend is coming back and that she didn't even know there was a girlfriend until Tim kicked her out. But she says she would do things exactly the same way, even knowing all that now. OW tells Jenny that she needs to check out the competition and be ready to "go out with guns blazing." OW asks what The Girlfriend's name is. Jenny says Francesca Wolff. "Oh barf," is OW's reply. Hee. And dammit, I thought it was Worff. Well, crap, it's my recap. Worffcesca is it, then.

Kit! She's talking to some guy about a music video. BitchyBiceps enters, carrying an icy drink. Upon closer inspection I can tell that it's not a Slurpee, so it's not nearly as exciting. But I'm wondering if Tina sent her out for an iced chai and now it's four hours later and the ice has melted and BB's chewed up the straw. Mr. Music Video works with Slim Daddy, who would like to sample one of Kit's singles from 1986. BB looks over the paperwork and doesn't seem satisfied with the $1000 they want to offer Kit for unlimited use of her song. Mr. Music Video says it's a standard contract. BB asks about a percentage of the revenue. Mr. Music Video gets annoyed, but Kit grabs the contract and signs it. Mr. Music Video leaves. BB says she heard from David, who told her about how he saw Kit drinking at the bar the night he was supposed to meet with her. Kit says that BB was there with her and knows she wasn't drinking. BB's not so sure. Kit tells her that she should have stood up for her. Yeah, BB, put those biceps to some use.

The Planet. Clive is digging through someone's bag. He grabs some cash and shoves it in his pocket before Smoothie walks over. He tells her he was just looking for a cigarette. Smoothie asks if he didn't notice all the signs around their house about how smoking kills women. Yeah, he's seen them. Smoothie says that "they" don't smoke. "They" being those brilliant masterminds behind Twat: The Night, Deal With It.

The CAC. Biceps is on her way to lunch, but James the BitchBoy catches up to her saying there's an important call she needs to take. It's a freaky ass phone call from someone with serial killer voice asking her if she believes in Jesus and that everyone involved with the showing of that blasphemous filth they call "Provocations" is going to burn hell. The receptionist tells her that it's the fifth call today. BB asks her to keep a record, then walks to the door, hesitating before walking outside.

Jenny and OtherWoman are getting out of what I assume is Jenny's fabulous new car. It looks like a beige 1987 Toyota something. Jenny opens her door into a bicyclist and sends him crashing to the ground. Jenny covers her face with her hands, "Oh my god, I killed him." By the way, I actually really like Jenny in this episode. She doesn't seem waifish, creepy, or pathologically inclined to deceive people. The cyclist curses at them and lunges at Jenny. OtherWoman and Cyclist exchage a round of "fuck you's" until Worffcesca appears and resolves the situation, playing to the guy's vanity. The cyclist tells Jenny to "learn to drive." Except she wasn't driving, fuckwad. He rides away, Worffcesca tells the girls to take care, and Jenny's catatonic.

Dana's Brand Spankin' New Subaru. TLLH and Dana are going over "the plan." Ooo... I hope this plan is as good as Mission: Gaypossible. But it's probably not. Exchange pleasantries. Mom tells Dana how thin she looks. Dad asks TLLH about her career. Come out. Sounds easy enough. TLLH gets out of the car, looking fabulously Republican in her pink blouse with a white sweater around her shoulders. She's even wearing pearls. Jesus.

The Sharon Fairbanks Woman of the Year Extravaganza. Oh crap. It's an event FOR her mom? Outlook? Not good. And really, Dana? You came out the second you walked into the room in that pants suit. Really, really gay. Marry me. Sharon greets them, announcing that they came all the way from Beverly Hills just to see her. Except that they didn't come from Beverly Hills, but that's okay. She tells Dana she looks thin, compliments TLLH's outfit, then leads them into the luncheon. We meet Howie, Dana's little brother. He says hi, then flashes them Dana's ad from inside a magazine he's carrying. Dana angrily snatches it away before her parents can see it.

ProRina Watch 2004. OtherWoman and Jenny ware watching ProRina through the window of The Planet. OtherWoman is pretty impressed with ProRina's hotness and wants to know if women look good when receiving oral sex because men "look so dorky when they're getting blowjobs." Worffcesca walks by them and then proceeds to get cozy with ProRina. Jenny FINALLY realizes that Worffcesca IS The Worffcesca. Although, you'd think she would have recognized her from the pictures plastered all over the wall of ProRina's place. Then again, she wasn't wearing her Coke Bottle Glasses of Doom at that time.

Fairbanks Family Lunch Line. After making crude gestures at his sister while they're at the lunch table, Howie asks Dana if she has a boyfriend. Sharon reprimands him, saying that if she had one, she'd have brought him with her. She says that Dana's like she was when she was young and that men get jealous of women who are good at something. Sharon reminds Dana that she was about to say something before annoying little brother so rudely interrupted. But before she can continue, Tina Greer's mom from "Smallville" asks Dana to autograph the Subaru ad, which is in a copy of The Advocate. Nothing gets past my keen eyes! The lady says it's for her son, Bruce, but I'm sure she means her lesbian shape-shifting daughter, Tina, who stalked Lana Lang and posed as her boyfriend and Clark Kent AND Chloe Sullivan just to be with her. And really, Lana should have just gone for her, because she's probably the only person in the whole, wide world who would never get sick of hearing about how her parents were pancaked by a meteor. (Omar G, you're my hero.) Anyway, Dana's parents are shocked, not because of the content of the ad, but because it's such a wonderfully huge deal that she's a poster girl. TLLH jumps in and says that Dana didn't want to overshadow Sharon's big day. Fabulous. And her parents have no idea what the ad means. Dana says it's about women who get outdoors and stay outdoors. In a gay way. But she doesn't say that. Instead she excuses herself to the restroom.

TLLH and Dana discuss whether or not her parents actually get the ad or not. TLLH tells her to take advantage of their pride in her and come out. She offers to let Dana practice and proceeds to represent each parent, Sharon and Irwin, by hold up her hands and making them talk in falsetto, "I don't know that that means, honey. Get out and stay out." Hee! Dana considers it briefly, then walks out of the restroom. TLLH looks at her Sharon Hand, "What are you looking at?" That's high comedy.

Out in the luncheon room, Sharon takes her place up on the podium to accept her Woman of the Year award. Dana and TLLH rush in and sit at the table. Irwin says it's a great day to be proud of his girls. The camera this weird crappy seemingly pan and scan motions on the enlarged photographs behind Sharon. There's the Fairbanks' family portrait. I want that for my home. And right next to it is a picture of a young lady in a riding outfit, standing next to her horse and holding a trophy. Sharon is KissGirl from the teaser! Oh man. This can be very good or very bad for Dana. And for the record, in the master shot of the room, these pictures are on opposite sides of the podium, but in the close up, they're right next to each other. But who needs continuity in a show with all this hot lesbian action?

Dana and TLLH walk out on the patio. TLLH says that Dana's making herself crazy, so maybe they should abort their mission. Then TLLH smells pot. It's Howie. He greets them with a "What up, lesbos?" Aw. Little brothers are so sweet. TLLH takes a hit off his joint. The one in his hand, not the one in his pants, you dirty bastards. TLLH offers it to Dana saying it will help her relax, but she refuses. Howie says that he'll still visit Dana after their parents disown her.

Jenny's Bitchin Beige Ride. Jenny drinks from a flask while OtherWoman is watching ProRina and Worffcesca through a pair of binoculars. I wonder if she knows ObsessoGirl. It looks like Worffcesca bought ProRina an expensive watch. Jenny says that they're stalkers which is "kind of crazy and insane." At least she's aware of her fallacies. OtherWoman thinks that Jenny can totally take Worffcesca. Jenny says she can't compete because Worffcesca is all German engineering and Goddard films and she's living out of a trash bag and sleeping in the tool shed. OtherWoman points out that Worffcesca is "buying [ProRina's] affections," Jenny's younger and ProRina must have sought her out for a reason. Jenny is convinced that the couple is desperately in love. OtherWoman simply says, "Twat." But Jenny says she's swearing that off. No, doofus, Twat: The Night, Deal With It. OtherWoman suggests that they go and try to make ProRina jealous. If it doesn't work, they'll at least be drunk and ProRina will think that Jenny has a "hot new girlfriend."

Back at the O.C. Howie and TLLH are high as motherfucking kites. They spot Dana through the window of the bar, sitting at a table with her parents. After a moment, Sharon leaves the table, followed by Irwin. Dana's in tears, trying to stop her parents from leaving. Irwin confronts TLLH saying that she must be "part of this lifestyle, too." TLLH cops out with, "Me? No, I have a boyfriend." FUCKER! And really, I don't think LisaKrackow wants to be your boyfriend right now, anyway, you man molester. Irwin grabs Howie and leaves the lobby. Outside, Dana tries to stop them before they drive off, saying that she didn't mean to hurt them. Sharon says, "We all have feelings for our girlfriends, Dana. It doesn't mean we have to act on them." Well, crap. And WTF? They drive off, leaving Distraught Dana behind to lean on TLLH.

True Crime: The Streets of L.A. Smoothie's tracking Clive. And she's driving a different truck than the last one we saw. This one is smaller and reminds me of my old Mitsubishi Mighty Max. I could never leave anything on the dash if the windows where down, because if I turned, it would all just slide off and fly out the window. I lost my favorite pair of $10 sunglasses that way. The Twat: The Night, Deal With It Trio kicked Clive out because he's a stealer. He begs Smoothie to convince them to let him stay, but she won't do it, he's fucked himself. She gives him some money for a hotel. He says that the only reason she has money to give him is because he hooked her up with Harry Samcheck and that she owes him. She angrily thanks him for setting her up and gets back in the car. He asks her for drugs. She reluctantly gives him the little she's got. He says he's sorry. "No, you're not," she replies.

Tim's Toilet. And really, HOW MANY TOILET SCENES DOES ONE SHOW NEED? Lord Jesus. OtherWoman is using the toilet, when Tim opens the door on her. He quickly shuts it and asks how long she will be. "In the bathroom or in L.A.?" she asks. Heh. She finishes her business then opens the door. Without washing her hands, by the way. She tells Tim that she knows he's hurting, but he needs to take care of Jenny because OtherWoman lives too far away. I'm suddenly wondering if Jenny has an actual chemical imbalance. That would explain SO much.

Outside the CAC. Those wacky petitioners are fishing for signatures. Petitioner Pete approaches Biceps, asking if she'll sign his petition. She says she knows about the exhibit. Pete says that she must be disgusted by it. Biceps asks him if he's seen it. Nope. She wants to know how he can ask people to sign a petition opposing it if he's never seen it or considered the artist's perspective. He's sprinting away faster than Forrest Gump before she even finishes her entire sentence.

TWAT: THE NIGHT, Deal With It. That really should be my email address. The place is pretty empty, but they have shiny glow sticks. OtherWoman and Jenny squeeze through the vagina shaped door. I'm not making that up. The door is a big fabric vagina. You can make anything with fabric. When I did a college workshop production of "Titus Andronicus," our director was convinced that we could make anything out of fabric. But I'll be she never thought of a big vagina door. Dana, TLLH and Smoothie are at a table, playing with the bendy glow necklaces. Dana's recounts her Outing with her parents and the weird thing that Sharon said about feelings for girlfriends. Smoothie says that it sounds like she fell for a girl who broke her heart. Dana and TLLH both think that's impossible. TLLH says that she heard Smoothie's cutting Sherri Jaffe's hair. On Friday. TLLH says she's "the coolest person in Hollywood who doesn't have a job" and that she can make or break Smoothie. During this entire scene, Smoothie's trying to hang the little glow loops on Dana's ears and head, and Dana just sits there, letting her do it. Cute! Not TheCute, but cute. As the scene ends, the last phrase of music we hear includes the words, "camel toe." Only at Twat: The Night, Deal With It.

Semi-Circle of Life. SingleMother is still ranting about Biceps' actual blackness. I have a friend whose nickname is Actual Blackness. It's along story. Maybe when you're older. Biceps says that she is "black" by the "white man's definition" and points out that SingleMother wants her to let White America define her. SingleMother denies that, saying that it feels like Biceps is running from something. Tina tries to speak up, but BossyBiceps shuts her up, then asks SingleMother why she's all over BB's ass about being upfront with her blackness when SM has led everyone to believe that she's straight. Because she's not "readable" as a lesbian, she didn't declare her sexuality upon meeting everyone, and it wasn't until Biceps read a poem from "Sistah: Stand Up" where she describes herself as a "Black Socialist Feminist Lesbian." Biceps points out that "lesbian" is listed last. SingleMother says that she never denied she was a lesbian. God, this is going to go on, forever, isn't it? I can't recap this anymore. Blah, blah, blah. Confrontation. White America has made Biceps ashamed of her heritage. Yadda, yadda, yadda. SingleMother says something about how Biceps is going through the world letting people mistake her as white. Biceps steps in and says that SingleMother has "no idea" how she's "gone through the world." Dr. MbaR tells SingleMother that she's being very confrontational. SingleMother turns his statement into another attack, wanting to know if "this black lady" is getting out of control.

Twat: TN, DWI. Jenny's ready to leave because ProRina and Worffcesca aren't there yet. Oh, wait. There they are. Jenny and OtherWoman parade past The Gang. TLLH notices OtherWoman as they sit at a table across from them. OtherWoman tells Jenny to look like she's having a fabulous time, saying that Jenny's "one hell of a tramp" and she knows she's capable of making ProRina jealous. ProRina heads for the bathroom. Jenny's about to follow her, but before she can Worffcesca approaches them and introduces herself. They talk about college and how everything you thought was true just turns into something else. Worffcesca says it's good that OtherWoman and Jenny have each other, because it's important to have someone when you're going through such big changes. So, Worffcesca must at least know about Tim and Jenny. Then she invites them over for dinner. Oh man.

Quiet Time at the Circle of Life. Dr. MbaR wants the group to sit in silence. He plays it off like it's part of the therapy, but I think he just wants everyone to shut the fuck up for a while. We hear everyone's thoughts. One guy's glad it's quiet. SingleMother thinks "fuck you" thoughts about everyone. Alien Child Guy needs to make a phone call. Another guy wants to know "how lesbians know when they're done having sex, because women can just go on and on and on..." Hey, buddy, I hear you. You can get carpal tunnel if you're not careful. Maybe I should get one of those wrist guards like the ones they make for computers. And this bit is going on WAY too long. Dr. MbaR considers raising his hourly rates. Tina starts speaking, saying that the session might have been difficult, but she thinks some important issues were brought up. We jump back to internal thoughts as Biceps wonders if she's just panicking because of the baby or if she's falling out of love. Tina continues speaking, saying that it's hard to be honest, but it's best to say what they feel.

Back at Twat: TN, DWI. ProRina and Worffcesca are heading home. Jenny watches them leave. And I watch myself finish this damn recap. Amen.