It's been five and a half years since I've seen this episode.  Last time I watched 
it, I had high hopes for this female centered show that had been heavily 
promoted during my beloved Buffy hour.  Knowing how I initially responded, I'm 
wondering why I paid Blockbuster to let me watch it again.  Maybe I just like the 
pain.  Maybe I have a secret keratin lust.  Maybe I just miss dear, sweet Meghan.  
Whatever the case, I'm here now, and I'm in for the long haul.  Because before 
there was TWoP, there was the CSFWS.  We're back with a vengeance, starting 
at Square One.  And if you think I'm just doing this because I want an excuse to 
watch Felicity from beginning to end without my friends making fun of me you'd 
be totally wrong.  Jeez.

We open with what will become a trademark image to Felicitous fans 
everywhere:  Felicity, backlit by golden light with a touch of soft focus.  I think I'm 
realizing why that nervous facial twitch went away… because it's back.  She 
speaks into her handheld tape recorder.

Dear Sally,

College is great.  Please send money for hair care products.

Love,
Felicity

But, our heroine can't just leave it at that, so she begins talking about high 
school and how things aren't really going as planned.  You know, if she had originally 
planned to go to med school, the show would still be on the air with a couple 
seasons to go.  Did you ever think of that, Felicity?!  Instead, she thinks about 
conversationally using words that really have no place outside of a biology 
textbook, saying that her dad's had her life planned out since she was a "zygote."  
I'll bet she orders scrambled chicken "embryos" with a side of toast at the IHOP.  
Anyway, she's graduating and musing over the fact that other people seems to 
be excited about "actually" starting their lives.  I think they're excited about 
"actually" going to frat parties and sleeping through half their Monday classes.  
We hear Benjamin Steven Covington called to the stage, followed by Felicity 
Elizabeth Porter.  I assume that's edited or else no one with a last name 
beginning with D-O went to their school.  Which I wouldn't put past this show.  
Eeee, oooo, her parents excitedly take pictures and video.  My mom videotaped 
my graduation, but instead of holding the camera up the whole time, she just set 
it down in her lap during certain parts.  That really would have been fine, except 
for the part where she held down the fade out button, which faded out both 
picture AND sound, so my graduation memories are Swiss cheesed, just like 
Sam Beckett's mind every time he Quantum Leaps.  Felicity rambles on about 
phantom pains as we cut to the graduating class throwing their hats in the air.  
Maybe one will poke out her eye and she'll have phantom vision.  It's been long 
enough since I've seen this, anything might happen.  But it doesn't.  She's just 
full of dread because high school is over and she's not looking forward to the 
future.  Welcome to Adult Life.

Felicity Voice Over says that three years ago, she held a 
pint of Ben Covington's blood.  You know, this show doesn't start off making Felicity look 
like anything less than a creepy stalker.  Ben yells at some lady, who I assume is his mom.  
He's such a kind-hearted young fellow.  Felicity introduces herself to Ben.  He 
seems to know her, but introduces himself.  She asks him to sign her yearbook 
then jabbers on until her tells her to shut her mouth so he can concentrate on 
things like words and how to write them.  Felicity circles him like a shark as he 
settles down on the grass.  If Ben's anything like the guys who signed my 
yearbook, he's either drawing pictures of machine guns or quoting Nirvana lyrics.  
He makes a few grand underlining motions and hands it back to her.  As he 
walks away, Felicity reads the words that will change her life.  To bad it's a bunch 
of post-high school BS.  Okay, okay… I won't be a total cynic.  He says that he 
watched her all through high school, but never had the courage to say anything.  
Blah to the bliggity blah.  If he'd have just written "Have a nice summer" I'd have 
so many hours of my life back.  Felicity, of course, takes his words as the Gospel 
and calls out after him, asking him where he's going to college.  New York.  He 
doesn't say "the University of New York" so, I'm assuming it could be any number 
of colleges within the state.  But, in JJ's world, there's only one.  And now, 
Felicity's going to go there.

Father Porter is not happy about that.  He's mapped out her college career so 
that she wouldn't have to endure the world of student loans.  Except now that she's 
chosen not to go to med school, he's not supporting her in any way.

Felicity finishes up her taped message, saying she's in New York, having 
followed a guy she doesn't even know.  She fails to mention that, while her 
gothish roommate may terrify her, her dorm room is the size of my house.  She 
slaps the tape in an envelope addressed to a Sally Reardon at 224 Dogwood 
Trail in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  87505.  DVD crystal clear pausation is grand, 
ain't it?

ID Photo Spot.  Felicity asks the photographer if her hair is a "disaster" and I try 
not to giggle too loudly.  She goes on about how this picture needs to be good 
because she has to live with it for four years.  Right about then, Ben calls out to 
her, asking what she's doing there.  Felicity lies that she forgot he was even 
going to that school, then freaks out when he kisses the girl he's with and blanks 
on Felicity's name.  The photographer snaps her photo, which really isn't that 
bad, even if Felicity does look shocked.

Guidance Counselor's Office.  Felicity mumbles something about needing a 
chance to consider her schedule.  The counselor looks like he has a lobotomy 
scar on his forehead.  Counselor Lobotomy says there's a lot of parents who 
don't fully support their kids' choices in colleges or majors, then asks if she has 
any interests outside of medicine.  Felicity says that she draws and paints, then 
passes CL her portfolio.

English 101.  A crazy, white-haired, bow-tied professor sings the praises of 
Alexander Pope, then sets the class straight on how college English works.  We 
don't get to hear him because it's time to focus on Felicity crying as she stares 
three rows ahead at Ben, who seems to be sporting a slightly wavier version of 
the Angel 'do.  We catch our first glimpse of Julie, who passes Felicity a note that 
reads "You OK?" with boxes next to "No" and "I will be."  I guess the note asking 
her to the prom was a little too much for a first impression.  Felicity marks "I will 
be" and adds a "thanks" below it before passing it back.  Julie amends the note 
before slipping it back to her again, this time asking if Felicity thinks their 
professor's hair is on backwards.  Felicity laughs out loud (or LOLs as those 
wacky web kids would say).

This, of course, means that they will be best friends forever and ever till the end 
of time, because now they're having lunch together.  And I'm way weirded out by 
the fact that my hair currently looks just like Julie's in this scene… which took 
place in 1998.  this is also the infamous "squid earring scene."  They begin 
comparing bad roommate stories: Felicity's has yet to make an appearance but 
has plenty of "bone sculptures" and Julie's has a "phobia" of germs.  They agree 
that college is terrifying.  Some guy drops his tray and everyone applauds.  Julie 
finds that to be the most embarrassing thing that can happen and marvels at the 
fact that it's not her.  We shift to SloMo as Felicity gazes at Ben in such a manner 
that Julie notices and asks her what she's looking at.  Felicity excuses herself—

-- and pulls Ben out to some stairwell, prefacing whatever she's about to say by 
asking him not to think she's weird.  Or something.  Don't do it, Felicity.  Save 
yourself.  Save us.  Save Ben.  Save the whales.  Drat.  She tells him that she 
stalked him all the way to college and, even though they never talked in high 
school, she had all these intense feelings for him but she's over them now and 
it's not really about him because the show is called "Felicity" not "Benicity."  Ben 
just kind of stares like a confused puppy until she asks him what he thinks.  He's 
flattered.  They agree to "just be friends."  Like they were anything before.

SloMo as "mid-tempo rock music" plays (according to the CC) and Felicity runs 
down the sidewalk.  FVO exposits that she does work study at three times a 
week in the admissions office, which means she's going to violate the only rule 
and read the files.

Felicity's Cathedral Dorm.  She's on the phone with her parents, still fighting 
about what she should be doing with her life.  Noel pops in the doorway, waiting 
for her to get off the phone.  As she hangs up, she sees him and screams, which 
is probably more funny to me than it should be.  Noel proceeds to ramble on that 
he's the RA and just there to "say yo" and that she should feel free to drop by his 
room, 729, at any given time because he like to floor shrink and he's sorry for 
"the scary part."  I like Noel.  And not just because Scott Foley thinks I'm 
hilarious.  But that does help.

Noel's room.  Felicity takes immediate advantage of Noel's listening ear to tell 
him that she not only read Ben's application essay, but also copied it and wants 
Noel to read it.  Remember what I said about what Ben wrote in Felicity's 
yearbook?  That's how I feel about his essay.  "I had a brother.  I lived in his 
shadow.  He's dead.  I'm not.  Boogedy boo.  Let me into your college."  Felicity 
asks if it's possible to be friends with someone she just has these "immoderate 
feelings for" or will she just be madly in love with him forever?  Noel thinks she 
can be friends with Ben and explains that all the newness of college life is just 
overwhelming her and that in a month things will normalize.  He speaks with 
wisdom because he is The RA.

Felicity's marveling at the massive growth she's made over the last two weeks 
and we move into a SloMo segment of Felicity helping Ben with his English 
assignment, but on a strict "friend's only" basis.  Oh, so actual studying.  With 
books and stuff.  They sit on the floor of Felicity's Cavernous Room and Ben 
asks her why she never went to any parties in high school.  She says she went to 
a few, but she wasn't exactly voted Most Popular, then laughs because she 
remembers that Ben was.  There's a knock at the door.  It's Noel with a pocket 
subway map for Felicity.  Aw.  He hangs around for an awkward beat, then 
leaves.  Ben says he can't make their study date tomorrow because he has class 
all day.  Um, wouldn't you have known about those classes before you made 
plans to study?  Noel pops back in to ask Felicity about next month's floor 
calendar, which isn't due for two weeks.  Felicity rolls her eyes and introduces 
the boys to each other.  Ben laughs it off and Noel doesn't seem phased, then 
leaves again.  Ben wants to know if they can study tomorrow night, but Felicity 
has plans with Julie.  Noel pops back in one last time, just for kicks.  I laugh.  So 
does Ben.  Felicity does not.  She suggests that she and Julie and Ben all go out 
together.  Since this isn't a Showtime show, I'll assume it's a platonic thing.  Ben 
asks if Julie would be cool with that.  Felicity assures him it'll be fine.

Julie and Felicity are chatting at the mailboxes about Julie's clean freak roomie 
who took it upon herself to wash Julie's underwear because it wasn't clean 
enough to be in the same room with her undies.  Oy.  Vey.  Felicity asks if Julie's 
okay with Ben tagging along for the Poetry study jam session.  Julie says she's 
got a handle on the current poem so she'll sit this one out because she doesn't 
want to be a "fifth wheel."  Um… Julie, honey, you may have a grasp on the 
literature, but you might want some tutoring in math.  Felicity clarifies that she 
and Ben aren't dating and that they just know each other from high school.  
Julie's relieved.

Epstein Bar.  Actually, it's Lucky Strike.  Which we will never see again.  
Because it becomes Epstein Bar.  Ben, Julie, and Felicity are exchanging Urban Legends.  
Julie excuses herself to the restroom and Ben wants to know if Felicity was serious 
about just being friends because he has the hots for Julie.  To Felicity's credit, 
she plays the situation off with nobility, and gives Ben the A-OK go ahead to ask 
Julie out.

Felicity trudges back to her Immense Dorm Room where she sits on her bed and 
stares at the floor until someone walks in.  It's Meghan: Keeper of all my 
Felicitous Joy.  Felicity introduces herself.  Meghan looks at her for a beat, then 
walks back out of the room.

Outside Ben's Apartment.  Felicity presses the buzzer.  A male voice answers, 
but it's not Ben, it's Sean.  Felicity tells him to put Ben on, then demands that he 
let her up.  Once she gets to the door, she asks him why he wrote what he did in 
her yearbook.  Ben reminds her that he asked if she was "okay with things."  
Felicity rants about physics and cause and effect and accuses Ben of being 
innocent and charming.  Ben points out that Felicity following him across the 
country based on a yearbook entry is a little out of the ordinary.  Felicity reveals 
that knows all about his brother because she read his application essay, which 
freaks Ben out even more.  She claims to be in love with him, which he rightfully 
counters with the fact that she doesn't even know him.  And this is the cue for 
Julie to slip out the door between them.  Felicity looks shocked and Ben looks 
disappointed.  

Back at Counselor Lobotomy's Office.  The obligatory 1998 WB Drama Sarah 
McLachlan song plays.  Felicity discusses her plans to run back home and take 
advantage of daddy's money.  Her parents will be there on the weekend to help 
her take care of everything.  As she's about to leave, CL mentions that he looked 
over her art portfolio, saying he's sure she'd "make a fine physician," but she's 
"already an artist."

Colossal Dorm Room of Felicity and Meghan.  Felicity's packing.  Ben knocks on 
the open door, then steps inside, handing her a package that was out in the hall.  
It's a tape from Sally, who was her French tutor.  Dear Sally was engaged to be 
married at one time, but her fiancé was killed three months before the wedding, 
so she moved away and that's why they send tapes to each other.  In the 
screenwriting biz, that's what we call a gimmick.  Ben asks if they can go out for 
a movie or something before she leaves.

Up on the rooftop.  Ben confesses that he never had a brother.  HA.  He says 
that he lied on his application because he wanted to get as far away from home 
as possible, then apologizes that he's not who Felicity thought he was.  Um, 
yeah, but she still violated, like, the law, not to mention your trust.  But that's 
okay.  Ben asks what she's thinking.  She says she's never made a substantial 
choice in her life and she really just used him as an excuse to do something 
drastic.  This is where I notice that they're drinking beer and I know that the legal 
drinking age in NYC is 21.  What a bunch of law breakers.

Noel's Room.  Noel gives Felicity a passionate speech about why she "mustn't 
leave this school."  He says that if she keeps running from her problems, they'll 
just resurface later in life, even when she's a successful doctor with a fancy 
practice and four phone lines in her home.  "Stay in New York or perish," are his 
five, er, six words of advice.  Felicity asks if he has feelings for her.  Yeah.  He 
does.  And then, Noel proceeds to utter the sentence that launched this very 
website: "Don't fundamentally disregard everything I've told you, just because of 
my affection for you."

Cafeteria.  Julie apologizes to Felicity about the Ben fiasco.  She values their 
friendship more than the idea of dating Ben.  Felicity doesn't think it matters 
because she's leaving.

Dinner with the 'rents.  The Porters have already planned out Felicity's return to 
the wide world of medicine.  Her dad lets it slip that he was responsible for her 
getting into med school in the first place.  When she confronts him on it, he tries 
to distract her with the promise of a car and a new apartment.  Felicity studies the 
PANIC button on the key chain and tells them that she'd rather stay in New York.  
Father Porter calls her decision a colossal mistake, but Felicity tells him that it's 
hers to make.  As much as this show is a colossal hunk of cheese, it's the high 
production values and the solid performances from the actors that make it worth 
watching, even for old contemptuous snarkmeisters like yours truly.
Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" plays as Felicity (and her hair) move in SloMo on 
the NYC streets.  Sally's Voice apologizes for taking so long to get back to her 
and says that life's hardships make them stronger.  She was ready to move 
again, but Felicity's first tape from college came that day and it made her realize 
that we all have moments where we decide what our lives will me.  We se Julie 
and Felicity hug, then walk away together in SloMo.  Sally Voice Over says she 
thinks Felicity made a great choice and she can't wait to hear what happens.  
Mostly because the version she gets is only about five to ten minutes long, 
compared to the forty-five minutes we're subject to for every episode.

And that's episode one.  Hot diggity.  I didn't even break out into a rash.  Yet.

Sweater Count:

College Music:

zygote
colossal mistake
phobia
immoderate feelings
mustn't
perish
fundamentally disregard

Eight. Eight sweaters.
Ha ha ha.

The light, the heat.
The SloMo.