The Aging of Cirdan
by Cirdan
Prologue
Cirdan was pleased with his new boats.
They floated upon the water like leaves and were both sturdier and more
beautiful than the rafts that he had devised before. He went to Olwe and Elwe
and sang to them a song about the boats that he had composed while crafting his
newest work. They laughed, delighting ever in his handiwork and his tunes.
Cirdan's kinsmen prevailed upon him to sing about his new boats before the
Quendi so that they would know the name of his newest creation. After his song,
Elwe and Finwe sang about the stars, and the Quendi assembled joined them in the
refrain.
Their song was cut short by the booming echoes of hoofs. The Hunter, some
whispered to each other in fear. They retreated to their simple dwellings when
they heard the great neighing. Others stayed and looked to their leaders for
instruction. Ingwe it was who first broke into song, for the music soothed the
people. Finwe and Elwe quickly joined him in song. Few joined them, but Cirdan
was one, for he was not afraid. They were near Cuivienen, the Water of
Awakening. Here, they had ever been safe. As long as they did not wander far,
they would come to no harm, for the water was sacred.
When they finished their song, a Rider did indeed appear before them. The great
white horse upon which he rode neighed, and the neighing was like no horse that
Cirdan had ever heard. Some of the Quendi hid. Some fled and were lost. But
Cirdan perceived swiftly that the Great Rider was no shape out of Darkness, for
there was a great light, brighter than even the stars, in his face.
Cirdan approached him, drawn to the brightness of his eyes. Others moved forward
as if in a trance as well. Among them were those who Cirdan trusted most, those
such as Ingwe, Finwe, and his kinsmen Elwe and Olwe.
Ingwe spoke first to the Great Rider, though he knew not if the Rider understood
their speech for before this, the Quendi had met no other living things that
spoke or sang. He asked for the Great One's pardon on behalf of the Quendi, for
there were many who shunned him because of the tales of the Dark Rider upon his
wild horse who pursued those that wandered to take them and devour them. Ingwe
said that he did not believe that the Great Rider was this same Shadow, for
there was a light about him that could not come from one of the shadows and evil
spirits.
Then the Great Rider spoke, and all who had not fled beheld his voice with
wonder, for it was fair beyond imagination to the ears. Cirdan felt as if he
were floating leisurely on his back upon the still waters of Cuivienen and
watching the stars above him. But the visions that the Great Rider evoked were
not those of the stars, for his very words were like radiant light. Orome he
was, a Vala, and he would speak with his kin and deliver the Quendi from the
Shadow. Little of this did the Quendi understand, but they trusted his words and
were heartened that they might soon be free of the evil that hunted them. Orome
rode off on Nahar, and the thunder of the great horse's hoofs did not seem at
all dreadful now to those who had stayed to treat with the Great Rider.
Thus it was that Cirdan and the other noble Quendi who had heard the voice of
Orome returned to their people and sang to them songs of the Great Rider and his
glory so that they would not fear him. They sang that the Shadow that would be
chased away by the Great Rider and that the Great Rider would then return to
them. Many believed the songs of the wise, but some thought this an evil trick
by the dark spirits and fled. Cirdan and his brethren were saddened by this, for
they feared that great harm would befall these faint-hearted Quendi. In those
days, Cirdan was too busy consoling the people and convincing them to stay by
Cuivienen to return to his shipbuilding.
---
Some time later, the words of the wise seemed to be proven false, for the Earth
shook and groaned beneath them. The ever-still and peaceful waters of Cuivienen
were moved. The great waves sank the rafts and boats that Cirdan and his people
had built. Cirdan grieved for the loss of his creations. He looked to the North
and saw lights as of mighty fires. Cirdan thought that he might die like those
who had been devoured by the forces of darkness. He wondered what it would be
like to feel nothing, to be nothing. He shuddered at these thoughts that haunted
his waking as well as his dreaming. But always, when he despaired, Cirdan would
remember the light in the Great Rider Orome's face and the sound of his voice
and feel some measure of reassurance. Then, Cirdan would go to Cuivienen and
watch the violent movements of the water in which he no longer dared to swim. He
would move as close as he dared and dip his hand in the water. Or sometimes, the
waves were so great that he could feel drops of water from the splashes though
he stayed a far and safe distance from the tumults of the water.
Surely, the Darkness cannot have created this water, Cirdan thought to himself.
And what of the rain, sometimes gentle and sometimes heavy? Or the snowflakes
that were cold but beautiful? One of the Powers must surely have conceived of
the calm of the waters of Cuivienen, beside which the Quendi awoke in peace and
harmony.
At that, the last of Cirdan's fears seemed to be swept away in the waters. The
Great Rider had said that the Powers would deliver them from the shadows and
darkness. The waters of Cuivienen were troubled now, like the Earth around them,
but the Lord of the Waters would not let this lake or its people be destroyed.
---
When the Battle of the Powers was ended, great clouds arose from the ruin of the
North and hid the stars. Most of the Quendi became afraid, thinking that this
was the end of the world. But the wise knew better, for the waters of Cuivienen
were at last calm again and the land around them remained unravaged. Some force
had guarded them throughout the tumult, and this was evidence enough that the
Powers had protected them as the Great Rider had promised. Even so, the wise
could not alleviate the fear and dread of the people.
Orome came among them again to deliver the summons of the Valar. He spoke of
Valinor and the light of the Two Trees, but he did not speak about the ominous
words of Mandos: "So it is doomed."
The Quendi feared the Valar though, for they had seen them only in their wrath
as they went to war. Therefore Orome chose from among them ambassadors who
should go to Valinor and speak for their people, and these were Ingwe, Finwe and
Elwe, who afterwards were kings.
Cirdan doubted not that the splendor of Valinor was very great indeed. He knew
that when the three leaders returned to the Quendi, they would indeed encourage
the people to harken to the summons of the Valar. When the time came, Cirdan
knew that he too would join the march westward. He had seen the light in the
face of Orome and doubted not the brightness of the Two Trees. He had heard of
the greatness of Valinor. All this he desired to see. But also, Cirdan desired
to look upon the Lord of the Waters who had created this fair substance and thus
created the very water of Cuivienen. He would do obeisance to the Lord and beg
to serve him thereafter.
At that time, Cirdan did not yet know that the Lord of the Waters dwelt in all
the deep waters about the Earth or under the Earth and came to Valinor only
rarely.
---
As Cirdan had expected, the lords returned with Orome to Cuivienen, and they
spoke before their people and counseled them to heed the summons of the Valar
and remove into the West. Most of the Quendi were moved by their words, and they
became the Eldar. Of the three hosts of the Eldalie, Cirdan was with the Teleri,
who had for lords both Elwe and Olwe. The march was slow, and the Eldar
delighted in the wonders that they saw. Whenever Orome departed, they halted and
went forward no more until he returned to guide them. At such times as these,
Cirdan set about making rafts and small boats as he had before. His boats became
larger and stronger, and he delighted in playing with them upon the waters of
the rivers and lakes. But when Orome did return to guide them, as he always did,
though sometimes after much time had passed, always Cirdan continued towards the
West, sometimes bringing along the smaller boats and abandoning the larger ships
to the animals. At Elwe's urgings, the Teleri passed over the Misty Mountains
and crossed the wide lands of Eriador. Then, when the Teleri were resting in
East Beleriand, beyond the River Gelion, Elwe became lost to them.
Cirdan searched long for Elwe, but when they learned that Ingwe and Finwe and
their peoples were gone, the Teleri pressed on to the shores of Beleriand, and
Cirdan went with them. Thus it was that he witnessed for the first time the
Great Sea. At the sight of Belegaer, Cirdan did not stop to rest like his fellow
Teleri but continued traveling without tiring, for he desired very much to feel
the water. When he reached the shores, he rejoiced and sprang straight away into
the waters of the Sea. Little did he know then of the waves and currents. He
swam in bliss for some time and was glad that he had indeed marched westward,
for the water was unlike that of Cuivienen. It moved with a life of its own, and
though it was not peaceful, Cirdan felt at peace as soon as he gazed out across
the seemingly endless water of the Sea.
An undercurrent caught him and dragged him under the depths of the water. When
he came up, he was miles from the shore. Dismayed, Cirdan began to swim
desperately back towards the shore. He chided himself for not waiting for the
other Teleri, for there was no one who had seen his disappearance under the
water. The distance was farther than the entire length of Cuivienen, and the
currents of the Sea were strong and difficult to fight. Eventually, Cirdan's
body tired and grew numb, for the waters of Belegaer were also colder than that
of Cuivienen. He wondered if the Deep Waters would be at all like the Darkness
that the Quendi had so feared.
"Do not fear, Child of the stars." The voice came from the waters like
a crash of the waves upon the shore, yet Cirdan was comforted. The water
suddenly began to rise up in a great wave. Cirdan did not fight it. The great
wave lifted him up and brought him back to the shore. It became smaller as
Cirdan came closer to shore until at last it delivered him gently onto the sands
of the beach.
Cirdan turned to face the water and fell down upon his knees. "Lord of the
Waters! Long have I sought for you. I am in debt to you for saving my life. In
return, I would pledge my life to you."
A figured appeared from the foam of the waves. At first, it seemed to be water
itself, but then the shape became that of an Elda. Very tall was he, and his
hair was as white as the foam. He had chosen to appear in this guise so as to
not frighten Cirdan. He sat upon a rock near to the margin of the land.
"I am not the one you seek," the water lord said. "I am Osse, a
Maia and vassal of Ulmo, the Vala and King of the Sea who created with his Music
all the waters of the world."
"I will serve you and him then," said Cirdan. "For I perceive
that you are also great and that you can teach me much of the secrets of the
waters."
Osse nodded. "I will teach you sea-lore and sea-music."
Thus Cirdan befriended Osse and later his spouse Uinen as well. Cirdan came to
know Ulmo, though he never saw the Vala in a form other than water itself.
Already enamored of the seas, Cirdan learned the ways of the water, the craft of
shipbuilding, and songs that were filled with the sound of waves upon the shore.
Cirdan and the Teleri dwelt near the shores of Beleriand for many years, but
ever and anon, Cirdan would stray from the Sea and search for his kinsman, Elwe.
Thus it was that, when Ulmo returned to the coasts of Beleriand to bear the
Teleri away to Valinor, by ill-fated chance, Cirdan was away. Cirdan heard too
late the great horns of Ulmo, the Ulumuri. When Cirdan arrived at the shores,
the Eressea had departed. In the distance, he could see the isle as a small
speck of light, and then it was gone.
Cirdan stood on at the coasts of Beleriand and clenched his fist as he gazed out
across the Sea. "I will follow that light, alone if none will come with me,
for the ship that I have been building is now almost ready."
Then Cirdan heard in his heart the voice of Ulmo. "Abide now that time, for
when it comes then will your work be of utmost worth, and it will be remembered
in song for many ages after."
This saddened Cirdan, for he wished very much to see the light of the Two Trees.
Now, he would not see the Light in the Blessed Realm, nor would he be reunited
with his kinsman Olwe. But he saw a vision of a white ship flying in the sky,
and it shone brighter than any star. Cirdan decided that he would settle for
this vision for now.
"I obey," he said.
Thus Cirdan and his people came to dwell by the shores of Beleriand. They were
the Eglath, the Forsaken People, and they were the Falathrim, the people of the
foaming shore, and first mariners in Middle Earth and the first makers of ships.