The Redemption of the Noldor
by Cirdan
Part 10, Version 1
Cirdan was bereft of Finrod's friendship in all his days in Middle Earth
thereafter. At the end of the First Age, the hosts of the Valar made war on
Angband and defeated Morgoth. Eonwe called all the Elves of Middle Earth to
Valinor, but Cirdan did not depart with them. He did indeed desire to be
reunited with his kin at Alqualonde, but he loathed to depart from the lands
where he'd met Finrod Felagund. Besides, his heart told him that his purpose in
Middle Earth had not yet ended. Beleriand was destroyed in the War of Wrath, but
Lindon, where Finrod had first met Mortal Men and thus learned to love,
remained. Cirdan dwelt in Mithlond between Forlindon and Harlindon. In the
Second Age, Cirdan saw the rise and fall of Numenor. He fought with Gil-galad
against Sauron, who had slain Finrod. In the Last Alliance of Elves and Men,
Cirdan saw the fall of the last High King of the Noldor. In the Third Age, Men
were tested and taught, and Aragorn, the descendant of Earendil the Blessed,
reclaimed his kingship. Sauron was defeated. When the Bearers of the Three Elven
Rings and the Bearer of the One Ring came to Mithlond, Cirdan felt that his time
on Middle Earth had come to an end. He set sail for the West and at last came to
the Blessed Realm.
On the shores of Eldamar, the ships of Cirdan were greeted with trumpets and
cheers. The arch of living stone over the entrance of Alqualonde was decorated
with flowers. The lamplit havens were new to Cirdan, yet they seemed familiar to
him. At last, after countless years, he was home. As the ship docked, Cirdan
searched the crowds and found who he did not expect but had hoped to find.
Finrod stood by the pier among the House of Olwe. The sun had set, but here in
the Blessed Realm, that was the time of greatest light. Finrod's golden hair
caught the light of the sun that streamed between the mountains. Strings of
pearls decorated his braids, and a circlet of silver and diamonds graced his
brow. His raiment of gold and green were bejeweled and more splendid than any
finery that Cirdan had seen on Middle Earth. Most beautiful of all were Finrod's
eyes, which shone like Gil-Estel, the Star of Hope. And although Finrod took
note of his sister Galadriel, he mostly watched Cirdan, and the love between
them was rekindled.
Later, Cirdan learned that Finrod was the First Noldo of Middle Earth to be
released from the Halls of Mandos, for he had saved Beren and aided in the Quest
for the Silmaril, which had enabled Earendil to come to Valinor on behalf of the
Two Kindreds. Finrod's willingness to love and be loved also played a part of
his early re-embodiment, for he accepted the love and rule of the Valar without
regret or bitterness.
Six days passed before Cirdan and Finrod were able to spend some time in private
together. They walked along the beach of Valinor in silence for a long time, for
words could not wholly express their joy at reuniting. Cirdan remembered when
they'd first met at the Feast of Reuniting by the pools of Ivrin, when Finrod
had first shared that beautiful, secret smile. After a while, Finrod took
Cirdan's hand, thus making it clear that, although he'd been free to choose
another, he still loved Cirdan. At last, they stopped to sit on the beach. Their
hands remained joined. It did not seem to matter that Cirdan alone of the Eldar
had aged like a Mortal Man.
"Do you remember that night on the Cape of Balar when I first returned your
love?" Finrod whispered. Elven memory was said to be excellent, but Cirdan
did not remember Finrod's voice to be so fair and melodious.
"Of course," Cirdan said. "My love for you remains still, and
often when the shadow lengthened in Middle Earth, I returned to that night for
comfort."
"It's not the love of a kinsman, is it?" Finrod searched Cirdan's
bright eyes. 'It's more like the love between a man and his wife." Cirdan
nodded. He felt the same way. "I would like to explore and learn more of
this love that we share."
"As would I. Our time together after we'd come to love one another was far
too short." Cirdan touched his lips to the backs of Finrod's hands. Cirdan
had not expected Finrod to already be released from the Halls of Mandos. He was
one of the leaders of the Rebellion of the Noldor. But now that Cirdan knew that
Finrod was living in Eldamar and still loved him, Cirdan knew what it was he
wanted. "If you are of the same heart and mind as me, then let us be wed
here in the Blessed Realm."
"How can we? Two men do not marry."
"If you're not opposed to the idea, then let us entreat the Valar to grant
us the grace of marriage. Your sacrifice for Beren has surely won you great
favor among the Valar." Cirdan stroked his long silver beard. He'd become
accustomed to it over time and thought of it as a mark of Ulmo, who also sported
a beard. "I have been Ulmo's vassal since the day I desired to sail to
Valinor and was asked to abide instead on Middle Earth. Undoubtedly he'll speak
on my behalf." Cirdan searched Finrod's shining eyes and saw great love in
them. The lessons of love that Finrod had learned on Middle Earth had been
enhanced in the Blessed Realm. Finrod was at peace with himself in a way that
had never been possible before. His love for himself enabled him to love others
more truly and fully. "Merely say the word, and I will do all that I can to
convince the Valar to let us wed."
Finrod drew Cirdan's left hand, now aged and wrinkled, to his smooth cheek.
"Many Elves who sailed West before you told me that you had become old and
gray. Instead, I find that you've become more beautiful. The signs of aging are
but a mark of your caring for others and your grief at their passing into death
or to the West. This tender heart that has aged you like a Mortal Man is also
the reason I love you so much. Some say that if you stayed in Lorien, tended by
Este's servants, you would be healed and rejuvenated. Even if that is not the
case, still I would want to wed with you. If the Valar permit it, then I will
gladly put my hand in yours."
"Even if it does not come to pass, I consider myself blessed that you bear
such love for me and would be willing to bind yourself to me."
Finrod kissed Cirdan's palm. "Is there any reason we're only exchanging
declarations of love? I haven't tasted your lips for thousands of years of the
Sun. If that memory of our night on the Cape of Balar is as sweet to you as it
is to me, why not create a new moment to cherish?"
Cirdan chuckled and felt his cheeks flush. "I'm afraid my beard might
irritate you."
"Let me decide that." Finrod drew Cirdan to him, and they kissed.
Finrod's lips were more confident than before, and he chewed lightly on Cirdan's
lips. When they drew apart, Cirdan saw the brightness in Finrod's eyes, and all
lingering doubt about their compatibility and relationship fell away. Cirdan
thought that he'd be satisfied holding hands and gazing into Finrod's eyes, but
his eagerness to share his love with Finrod was greater than expected. Finrod
looked too earnest and ready to love. Seeing Cirdan's sudden wave of impatience,
Finrod laughed. "It's not like you to be impatient. You were able to wait
over 10,000 years before seeing the Blessed Realm."
"Then my impatience should show you how much more you mean to me than even
the Blessed Realm." Cirdan kissed the back of Finrod's hands. Then Cirdan
stood and stripped himself.
Finrod laughed again. "You can always dance for me as you undress," he
suggested mischievously.
Cirdan smiled and shook his head. Finrod was delighting far too much in Cirdan's
uncharacteristic impatience. Once naked, Cirdan ran into the water and dove into
its depths. Cirdan wondered if his love for Finrod was truly stronger than his
love for the Sea. Though Ulmo dwelt in the Outer Ocean as he had from the
beginning of Arda, his strength here was still very great, whereas in Middle
Earth, his powers in its waters had dwindled over time. The presence of Osse and
Uinen was stronger than it had ever been in Middle Earth. The music of the water
was not merely that of waves. In it, Cirdan heard an echo of the very music of
the Ainur, and Salmar, who had crafted the horns of Ulmo and came never to the
waters of Middle Earth, was present and cast his spell over the sounds of the
Sea. Here also dwelt the Oarni and Falmarini and the long-tressed Wingildi, the
spirits of the foam and the surf of ocean. Cirdan had long been acquainted with
the foam and surf, but he'd never met the spirits that controlled them. The
Maiar of the Waters, who were the servants of Osse and Uinen, greeted Cirdan as
a kin long sundered.
Cirdan burst from the water's surface and was among them. The Oarni danced
around him in joy, and their music filled the air so that the shores of Eldamar
sang as it never had before. Cirdan knew that it was not Valinor that he desired
but the Waters of Valinor, which were indeed greater than the waters of Middle
Earth. Cirdan threw his long silver hair back and then joined the Maiar of the
Waters with his own song. He sang the same song that he had sung to Finrod by
the pools of Ivrin, and then he added to it and sang about the awakening of
their mutual love at the Cape of Balar after Finrod had at last come to
understand the love of the Valar for the Elder Children of Iluvatar through his
love for the Younger Children of Iluvatar. And though Cirdan raised his voice in
music for the spirits of the water, Cirdan's bright eyes were fixed on Finrod
the Beloved. Cirdan felt Osse and Uinen, attracted by the lovely voices and
stirring of the Sea, join the many presences of the waters. After a moment, they
appeared in forms like the Eldar on the water's surface atop great waves like
thrones. Cirdan turned from Finrod and bowed his head to the Lord and Lady of
the Seas. He knew that Osse had always loved the voice of the Teleri, and so
Cirdan voiced his plea as the last stanza of his song. He begged them to prevail
upon the Valar to permit the marriage between himself and Finrod so that they
could dwell together thereafter in love as spouses.
Lady Uinen spoke, "Cirdan the Shipwright, Lover of the Sea, you have been
the loyal vassal of Ulmo since the early days when you first build simple rafts
to float on the waters of Cuivienen. Your thoughts and desires were known to him
as soon as you first touched the Waters of Valinor, and your prayer has been
granted. Lord Ulmo went before the Valar in the Ring of Doom even as you sang
with the Oarni, and the Valar grant you the freedom to choose Finrod Felagund of
the House of Finarfin as your spouse."
"But the Statute of Finwe and Miriel still stands," warned Osse.
"If you wed with Finrod, neither of you may wed with another. A man cannot
have two wives, or in this case, two spouses."
"I desire no other, unless it be the Sea itself," Cirdan said
The great Lord and Lady of the Seas then looked to Finrod, who still stood upon
the shore but could hear all that transpired. "I too desire no other,"
Finrod said.
"Let it be," Osse said in a booming voice. "Come to my House in
Valmar. The two of you shall wed before Ulmo, and the Maiar of the Waters will
be your witnesses. Then will the Eldar know the decision of the Valar, and you
may hold a second ceremony among your own kin."
Cirdan and Finrod obeyed, and soon after the wonders of the day had passed, they
traveled to Valmar. The House of Osse was fashioned of pearl, and its floors
were of seawater. Tapestries like the glint of silver skins of fishes decorated
its walls. And it was roofed by foam. The handmaids of Lady Uinen dressed Cirdan
in robes of silver like the starlit foam of the Sea. They braided some of his
hair and added strings of pearls partially engulfed in silver shells in his
hair. Then he was brought to the Reception Hall of Osse's dwelling. Finrod was
guided to Cirdan's side. Finrod's robes were soft and pure white like the
plumage of a swan and decorated with glittering crystals. He wore a circlet of
platinum, and chains of gold and silver bells hung from the circlet amidst his
bright golden hair.
Cirdan and Finrod joined hands, walked together to where Ulmo awaited them, and
knelt before the King of the Sea. Ulmo had chosen to appear in a less fearsome
form, but it was still full of majesty and power. His voice was as deep as their
love. He spoke kindly and highly of their love and the understanding that had
brought them together. They would be accounted among the great unions of Arda,
named alongside Thingol and Melian, Beren and Luthien, Tuor and Idril, and
Aragorn and Arwen. The strange fate that had brought Cirdan and Finrod together
would raise the awareness of the Eldar, and Arda would be made more glorious.
Osse and Uinen brought forth rings of platinum, and Cirdan and Finrod exchanged
these and sealed the ceremony of matrimony with a kiss. The Maiar of the Waters
raised their voice in song at their union.
Later, Cirdan and Finrod were again joined in marriage, this time before their
kinsmen, and Ingwe, High King of all the Eldar and Cirdan's friend of old,
performed the ceremony. The tale of this union of two men later became a symbol
of pure and unselfish love. It had begun with the love that the Valar bore for
the Eldar, and it was fulfilled when Finrod learned to love Mortal Men. This
same love between different Kindreds was reflected in the odd fate that brought
two men of the same Kindred together in great love. The Fall of the Noldor had
been the breach of love between kinsmen, but the past sins were forgiven and,
instead of revenge or bitterness, love between kin like the love between Cirdan
and Finrod was sought. Thus, in the discovery of such a strange love, Finrod not
only redeemed himself but also all the Noldor.
---
This ends the tale of "The Redemption of the Noldor."
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Author's note: Caritas and cupiditas are regular, accepted ideas of love in the
Middle Ages, and Tolkien, being an English professor, would have been well-aware
of them. I suspect it does play into his Silmarillion world. The Oarni are
mentioned in the Book of Lost Tales 1. I wanted to show the Maiar of the Waters
and stole the name from Lost Tales 1, but the issue of a happy relationship
in-canon with the Silmarillion shouldn't be related to some water spirits.