The Redemption of the Noldor

by Cirdan

Part 1

"We have sworn, and not lightly. This oath we will keep. We are threatened with many evils and treason not the least; but one thing is not said: that we shall suffer from cowardice, from cravens or the fear of cravens. Therefore I say that we will go on, and this doom I add: the deeds that we shall do shall be the matter of song until the last days of Arda." So spoke Feanor, who quailed not at the words of Mandos. The will of Feanor constrained the Noldor, and none slept easily under such a heavy Fate.

The next night, Finarfin called his sons to take counsel in his tent. There was little preamble. They had dined together earlier in the evening, and, even then, Finrod had known his father was conflicted.

"I wish to return to Valinor and forsake the march to the Outer Lands." Finarfin's face was grave. His eyes were haunted, and Finrod knew it was the blood of the Teleri that filled his father's dark thoughts, for it was in Finrod's mind as well.

"What will the Valar do with us if we return?" Orodreth asked quietly.

"I do not know, but whatever punishment they decree I will say is just." Finarfin closed his eyes and seemed to recall the moment when his people at last joined the hosts of Fingolfin and Feanor and heard the news of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde. Perhaps if Finarfin's people had not kept ever hindmost to the company, Finarfin could have prevented the Kinslaying. "We have spilled the blood of our kindred unjustly. Perhaps for blood I shall render blood, and I will be sent to the Halls of Mandos, but even this fate seems better than our present course. What hope do we have of winning against Morgoth, for is he not also a Vala? Rather than pursue a hopeless war, I wish to redress my sins."

"We killed no Elf at Alqualonde," Angrod protested.

"By continuing to follow Feanor, we are passive accomplices to his evil."

"Then will we be the first of treasons of kin upon kin?" said Finrod.

"What of our betrayal to the kin of your mother?" Finarfin took Earwen's hand. Her head was bowed, but she no longer seemed bent and wary beyond endurance. Clearly, she intended to return to Valinor with Finarfin.

"The sons of Finarfin will not forsake the sons of Fingolfin," Finrod said. Angrod and Aegnor, ever friends of Fingon and Argon, nodded but let Finrod speak for them. "Nor will we forsake our people, the Noldor, to the will of Feanor."

"Are you all resolved thus?" asked Finarfin.

"We are," said the four sons of Finarfin.

"Fingon and his brothers were also reluctant to leave Valinor, but now that the path has been set, they will follow their choice to the bitter end, if bitter it must be. We will be with them to the bitter end," Finrod said. Finarfin and Finrod locked gazes, but Finrod refused to bend his will to his father's. At last, Finarfin bowed his head.

"So be it. May Mandos have pity on us all, but I suspect it will not be so."

"Not my daughter," said Earwen, becoming suddenly wracked with sorrow as she heard the decision of her sons. "Galadriel, surely you will come with your father and me?"

"I'm sorry. I will not be parted from my brothers or from Aradhel, daughter of Fingolfin." Galadriel took her mother in her arms, and the women wept on each other, for they knew that their fates would be sundered. Finrod felt his heart and eyes well up with tears as well. The House of Finarfin spent the rest of the night in sorrow and closeness, but in the morning, Finarfin was still set on returning to Valinor and his children refused to leave with him.

Finarfin announced his intentions before the Noldor, but because his children did not go forth with him, only a small number of the Noldor followed him. Finarfin forsook the march North and retraced his steps in sorrow. He begged forgiveness from the Valar. Finarfin's people received the pardon of the Valar, and Finarfin was set to rule the remnants of the Noldor in the Blessed Realm. Though pardoned, Finarfin did not rise above the Fall of the Noldor. He and his people begrudged the House of Feanor and those who followed him. Feanor's name was spoken with bitterness, and Finarfin could not learn to forgive his brother's evils and to love his brother in spite of his imperfections. Not until after Earendil came to Valinor and begged for mercy on behalf of the Two Kindreds would Finarfin take pity on the Noldor who had gone to Middle Earth and forgive for the Kinslaying at Alqualonde. But pity is not love, and so this tale does not follow the father of Finrod Felagund.