Rytthew was dead. DoomsDay was dead. Superman was alive and no one liked him. Tifa and Cloud are married. Thats enough now, this doesnt start with them. This story starts with 2 scientists looking for fossils in a forest.
Scientist #1:We must keep looking! Scientists need fossils! We wouldnt have crackpot theories like evolution without them!
The 2 science guys were walking around when...
Scientist #2:Oh, my God which i dont believe in for i believe in crap like evolution and the big-bang because i am a stupid faggot scientist guy! What the hell which i dont believe in either is that!?
Scientist #1 came over to look. The were amazed at the strangeness of what they were looking at...

Meanwhile...

"The Wedding March" was playing as Dagger and Reno walked down the ailse together. Dagger was looking extreamly happy. Reno looked like he would give all the money in the world to evaporate on the spot. Beatrix was wise to Gegs earlier attempt, so this time he spilled Champagne all over her. Cloud and Tifa were there, taking time off there Honeymoon to see the wedding. Arthur was just sitting around looking at.... nothing. Geg leaned over to talk to Cloud.
Geg:You have had a pretty long honeymoon guys, when are you going to get off and get back to normal?
Cloud:We arent going off our honeymoon untill we retire! We will stay in the luxery resort thingy untill we are old enough to retire! Then we will stay at a nursing home with now house bills or anything!
Tifa:No payments for us! We wont let the system bring us down!
Geg:Uh-huh...

Beatrix:You 2 look so good with each other.
Arthur:Yes! Very good. ... ... ...Why cant I find a girlfriend!? Why will the writers not let me!?
Dagger:Uh... yes. Anyway, thank you Beatrix. I have a husband!
Reno:Uh... yeah. Um.. Thanks. I... er... will like Dagger.
Dagger:?
Arthur:Dont worry Reno! Besides, you will be the King!
Reno:What!? Hmmm... King Reno... Make a few changes...
King Reno:Off with his head!
Beatrix:Um... No.
Reno:Aww..

Well, that was short. Cloud and Tifa got on there plane to go back to there resort in London. Reno and Dagger got on a plane to go to wherever they are going. Only Geg, Beatrix, and Arthur were left.
Geg:Lets get a few things straight. With Dagger gone, someone else will have to make tacos.
Beatrix:Geg, shouldnt the 3 of us get jobs? I mean, we've wasted most of our life sitting on our asses and eating tacos.
Geg:No! We must eat the tacos!
Arthur:Ill make tacos! I like making tacos!
So they all went back to the castle and Arthur made tacos while Beatrix and Geg watched TV.
Gir:I love the little tacos! I love them good!
Geg:You said it!
Arthur walked into the room with the tacos. Geg took one bite and spat them out.
Geg:My God Arthur, these things are blander than Taco Bell!
Arthur:What!? They cant be THAT bad!
Geg:Well, they are.
Beatrix:Fine then, lets go out to eat tacos. Taco Bell.
Geg:What!? Didnt you just hear me dissing Taco Bell!?
Beatrix:No, you were dissing Arthurs tacos.
Geg:Fine, lets go to Alabama. I have relatives there, and theres this chain, Taco Casa, it has like 9 locations, only in Alabama, but i swear, they are the best tacos ever. Better than Daggers. If they went international, they could kick Taco Bells ass!
Beatrix:We are not driving all the way to Alabama for tacos.
Arthur:Forget tacos! Lets just go to Burger King!
Geg:Fine...
So our 3 heros go to Burger King. But what will they find there...? Quality food!

We go now to see our two honeymooners in their luxiuorious Motel 8. (Cheap Motel for those non-Americans.like 20 bucks a night.) Well, you can guess what they were doing. No. Not that. SHOPPING!
Reno:Must *wheezes* SURVIVE! *coughs**wheezes* Can't shop... no more...
Dagger: Ohhhh yes sir. You're shopping until I quit!
Reno puts on a pleading face.
Dagger:Okay, Okay.
They go towards the exit of the Dillards when they encounter a geeky-nerd!
Geeky-Nerd:Hellloo. My name is Lyyyyyylllllllee.
Lyle walks away. He turns in mid stide and comes back.
Lyle:Hellloo. My name is Lyyyyyylllllllee.
Dagger:Ok, dude. You pissing me off.
Lyle walks away. He turns in mid stide and comes back.
Lyle:Hellloo. My name is Lyyyyyylllllllee!
Dagger stole Reno's electromag rod from him and killed Lyle in one swift blow.
Reno:Now, Honey. What did I tell you about stealing my weapon and killing random people, especially ones named Lyle?
Dagger:...heh
She gives back the rod.
Reno:-_-'
Dagger:Hey Reno! Lets go to a dance club instead!?! Where they play Daft Punk 24/7! And then go Shop at e-bay for all the Daft Punk CD's they got Using all of your Gil!
Reno:....... O__O'
Dagger:Glad J00 agree!

Reno and Dagger go to a Dance Club where they play Daft Punk 24/7
Dagger:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIGITAL LOVE!!!!!!! my favorite song!
Reno:Oh God..tell me this is the time when u give me a rub down and we shag in public!
Dagger:... :/ No Reno... Its when we dance....
Reno:DAMN! AT THIS RATE I'LL NEVER GET LAID!
Dagger:huh???
Reno:Nothing baby cakes! *looks down* Just a lil longer! Ok Tseng?
ï:OKAY!

Meanwhile in Britian. Cloud and Tifa had returned home mainly to spend time at home. It had been a while since they saw the gang, so decided to go and visit them. But this section doesn't involve them (yet). While Cloud and Tifa were thinking about going to the USA, a 17 year old male walked out of a store, with a can of Pepsi in his left hand, and his right arm in a sling.
17 year old:Mmmm, Pepsi.
He strugled to opened the can, and drank it in a few mouthfuls. He was waring a black T-Shirt, black Jeans and a long black jacket which he left open. He had green eyes and brown hair, which just covered the tops of his ears. He wore thin glasses and had a long sword on his left hip. Anyway, the boy threw away his can and took a walk down the street. He passed a Mc Donalds, and almost through up at the smell of the food. He ran passed, and soon came infront of a KFC.
17 year old:It's lunch time, and I'm hungry.He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a wallet.Hmm. I don't have enough money form my normal lunch - 10 Twisters, so I'll just have one and a Pepsi.
He walked inside, and within a few minutes walked back out again. The Pepsi was stuck to his right arm using tape, and in his left hand he held his Twiser. Using his teeth, he opened it and began to eat it. Just as he was about to take his first mouthful, his pohne went off. He held the Twiser in his teeth, and fumbled around for his hands free kit. After a few seconds, he answered:
17 year old:Hello?
Cloud:Hey Ace. Me and Tifa have some friends in the US, and we wondered if you wanted to come and visit them with us.
While Cloud talked to him, Ace took bites out of his Twister.
Ace:(muffled with food in his mouth)Sure. Where should I meat you?
Cloud:Sorry?
Ace:(sound of food being swallowed)I said sure. I'll be with you in a few minutes.
He held his lunch in hsi mouth again, and turned his phone off. The, to the surprise of everyone around him, a white aura appeired around Ace as he took to the sky. As he flew up, he finsished his lunch and began to drink his Pepsi. Within a few minutes he met up with Cloud and Tifa and flew to the US in the Highwind 2.

Meanwhile, in the US.

Geg, Beatrix and Arthur finished eating at Burger King. They bgean to walk away from the Burger King, when the Highwind 2 landed infront of them.
Cloud:Hi.
Geg:Hi Cloud. We haven't seen you since Dagger and Reno go married. How ya been?
Cloud:Fine. You?
Geg:Great, especally with Beatrix.
Beatrix:(half hartedly)... Yeah...
Tifa:Hi everybody.
Tifa and Ace walked off the higwind.
Geg:Hey Tifa. Hey, who's the other guy?
Ace:My name's Ace. Are you Arthur or Geg?
Geg:I'm Geg. He's Arthur.
Arthur:Hey.
Geg:And that cute girl over there is my gal Beatrix.
Beatrix:Hi.
The group headed off to there normal hang out. Meanwhile, a nerd sneaked up behind them.
Nerd:Now I have you! You will not escape from the Desiple of Melvin.
Upon hearing the name Melvin, Ace changed from his happy, go lucky mood to a much tougher mood.
Ace:Melvin? Did you say Melvin? Do you belong to the colt of Melvin worshipers?
Melvin Desiple:Yes. Wait, are you Ace Strife?
Ace:Yes.
Melvin Desiple:You are the one who destroyed the Melvin Worshipers in Britain. My Brothers would be glad when I destory you. Go, Pikachu!
Pikachu:Pickachu!
Melvin Desiple:Pikachu, Thunder baised attack!
Ace:Ha! That rodent is no match for my Kama Hama Ha wave.
Pikachu:Pik....
Ace:Kama...
Pikachu:Aaaa....
Ace:Hama...
Pikachu:Chu!!!!
Ace:Ha!!!
Pikachu's thunder attack zapped Ace, but nothing happen. Meanwhile, Ace's Kama Hama Ha microwaved the rodent. In a few seconds, nothing was left.
Melvin Desiple:PIKACHU! NO! I'll get you for this!
The nerd ran off into the sun set. Geg, Arthur and Beatrix stood there with there mouths hanging.
Geg:He's on our side, right?
Everyone else stared at Ace.
Geg:I cant believe Melvin is still alive! He was killed by Kuja, Sephiroth, and we saw him die in space! What the hell is wrong with that guy!?
Tifa:Wow. Ace, you are very strong!
Cloud:Anyone is strong against a nerd Tifa. Anyway, Tifa and i are still on our honeymoon. I think Ace can stay with you to see whats going on.
Ace:What? But, i need to train more for... you know..
Geg, Beatrix, and Arthur were listening closely.
Cloud:Well, this will help you train.
Cloud and Tifa boarded the Highwind and flew off leaving Ace with Geg, Beatrix, and Arthur.
Arthur:Well... This is a little awkward. This isnt how we normally make allies, but any reason is good enough.
Ace:....
Beatrix:Hmm? What is Geg doing? Oh, hes watching TV again.
Geg:Yep. Never leave home withou... DAMN YOU YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOING THIS!?
Well, that was random. Or was it? TV Announcer Guy had shown up on the screen. Ace and the others crowded around to see what was going on.
TV Announcer Guy:We have just recieved word that 2 scientists have made a terrific discovery is science. We join them now in this exclusive interview that no other station has. Ha! The ratings will soar! Now, #1, please tell me what you have discovered.
S#1:We have discovered a human skeleton inside a dinosaur skeleton. We think this may set the evolution theory back a far way!
Beatrix:Oh my God, that must be Cid! He must have spent the rest of his life inside that dinosaur! Eww...
S#2:We knew that we were in for a big discovery because of the alignment of Venus and Mars, Jupiter was in the 3rd house, and Uranus was looking particularly large.
TV Announcer Guy:What?
S#1:We are scientists. Nothing we say makes sense.
TV Announcer Guy:Oh, of course.
Geg:What a bunch of crap.
Arthur:What do you mean?
Geg:Anyone who believes in evolution is an idiot. Evolution is just a made up thing to answer the question of where we came from. Its just like Santa Clause.
Arthur:Huh!? What do you mean!?
Ace:...Are you guys always like this?
All:Yep.
Ace:*sigh...*
Beatrix:I dont get it. How can Melvin have followers? Why?
Ace:They follow Melvin because he is the smartest and Nerdiest nerd. So nerdy, he cant die.
Arthur:What does being a nerd have to do with not dying?
Ace:I dont know. But Melvins followers have little cult groups all over the world. I helped destroy the one in Britain. Thats why i am their #1 enemy.
Melvin:Thats right.
Geg, Beatrix, Arthur, and Ace whirled around to see Melvin standing on the top of a hill. Then, slowly, hundreds of nerds gripping Pokeballs in there hands started walking from behind him. Before long, the entire horizion was filled with nerds.
Geg:Melvin!?
Melvin:Well, well, well. Its Geg and the other 2. I havent seen you sense the DoomsDay thingy. I am pissed off about something. And i am now going on a nerdy quest.. thingy to fix the problem once and for all.
Ace:What are you talking about!?
Melvin:It wont matter, sinse you are all going to die a nerdy death. Bye now. Destroy them, nerds.
Melvin flew away in his jet pack, leaving the nerds to destroy Geg, Ace, Beatrix, and Arthur. They watched as hundreds of nerds shuffled towards them.
Arthur:Oh my God! Hundreds of nerds are comming towards us.
Geg:Hang on, why doesn't Ace just blast them?
Ace:Becuase my right arm is broken.
Geg:Then, how did you do such a strong Kama Hama Ha wave?
Ace:I can do it one handed. But I couldn't destroy all of those nerds with one hand. Our only option is to fly away, get stronger and return.
Beatrix:But we don't have a ship!
Ace:Who needs a ship, when I can fly!
Ace charged up his power. By this time, a few of the nerds had released Pokemon. Ace then used his powers to grab Geg, Beatrix and Arthur then flew off.
Melvin:Ha, you cowards! You are no mach for Melvin.
Ace turned his head around, riased his index and middle finger, aimed at Melvin's head and fired a small blast, which landed right between the eyes.
Melvin Despile:Lord Melvin has been injured!
And so, our heros flew off to fight another day. After they landed, they ran away as fast as they could.
Geg:That was embarising, running away from Melvin.
Beatrix:At least we can fight again another day.
Ace:If we are to stand any chance of beating them, we need to train, and my arm needs to heal...
Faced with a horrible dillema, our heros have lost control of thier flight... Ace wasn't strong enough to carry all of them with a broken arm.
Ace:Im not strong enough to carry all of you!
They all start falling back to earth, straight toward the Melvin Disciples.
Geg:Oh no! We are falling back to earth!
Suddenly they hear a new sound. An airship. But is it friend, or foe??
Reno:watch out freaks... Geg? Beatrix? Arthur? Some other guy? Hold on, I'll get ya!
Reno swoops his new airship under them and they fall hard into it.
Ace:Who is this guy?
Reno:You mean you don't know RENO! King of... King of...
Honey, where am I king of?
Dagger:Alexandria! Come on!
Reno:Oh yes. Alexandria.
Suddenly Geg starts screaming!
Geg:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The nerds have invented a permenent Ki Shield with no weaknesses... The little TV I carry told ME! I guess your powers won't help us know, Ace!
Ace:No! That can't be!
Suddenly, that guy Lyle shot a thing at the ship. It atached, and Lyle slowly made his way by climbing.
Finally, he reached the door.
Lyle:You think you can kill Melvin's right hand man!? I think not.
Dagger:No! This can't be!
Ace:Yes it can! FINALLLLLLL FLAAAAAAAASHHHHH!
Lyle slowly lurched towards Dagger, who was huddled in a corner, screaming.
Lyle:With the Ki blocker in place, none of you are a match for us. Ha ha ha haa. You will all die!
Ace:No chance. FINAL FLASH!
The energy blast went straight towards Lyle, who just stood there, laughing. When the attack got close to him, it just vanished without even scratching him. everyone stood there, gobsmacked.
Lyle:I'm surprised at you Ace. I thought your were meant to be smart. We all carry Ki blockers on our wrists, like watches.
Lyle pressed a red button on his watch. Suddely, he was cover in the Great Sayiaman's costume.
Lyle:Opps. Wrong button.
Lyle pressed the button again, and the costume vanished. He then pressed a different button on his watch. A blue light surronded him then vanished.
Lyle:I have just switched my Ki shiled off. Don't even think about attacking me Ace.
Before Ace could charge up some of his energy, Lyle pressed the button again.
Lyle:Ha ha haa. You lot can't... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Reno:No Lyle, we will win.
Ren stood there with his electric rod embedded in Lyle's arm, zapping him. Ace ran over to Lyle, jumped high into the air and preformed a spinning kick, throwing Lyle against a wall. The force from Ace's kick threw Lyle off Reno's electric rod, but it didn't seem to bother Reno. The rest of the group cought up and begain to beat Lyle up. Arthur was the first one to strick him by hitting him in the chest with his elbow. Geg clasped both his hands together and smacked it onto Lyle's head. Dagger beat Lyle up with her racket. The fight ended when Beatrix held Lyle up into the air, allowing Ace to punch him in the gut. The force of this was enough to knock him off the air ship. Suddenly, Ace fell over, screaming with pain.
Beatrix:What's Ace's problem?
Ace:My... arm... That Ki blocker.... has lowered... my.... powers. The pain.... of my.... arm.... is to much...
Geg:We have to do something!
Arthur:What can we do?
Melvin Desiple:Lord Melvin. Lyle has been beaten to an inch of his life, and has been thrown off Geg's air ship.
Melvin:WHAT!? Have everyone ayttend to his wounds amediutly. But Ace should have been exposed to the Ki blocker, which will weaken him. WE HAVE THE LAST LAUGH NOW GEG!

Meanwhile, back on the Air Ship:
Ace:There is only one option - we need to call Cloud and Tifa...
Our heros fly off into the day. But there is some stuff to clear up first.
Arthur:I dont get it... How did you know we were here? Where did you get that airship?
Dagger:I bought it! 12,000,000g.
Reno:12,000,000 gil!? I thought it was only 12,000!
Dagger:Sorry.
Beatrix:You guys are weird. So who is Lyle?
Reno:We met him in a mall in the place we went.
Ace:Lyle is Melvins best friend. Hes obviously a nerd. The 2 of them are never seen apart unless they are on some spy mission or something. Okay.
Geg:Hmmm.. Well thats different. Okay. Lets go back to the resort in England where Cloud and Tifa are staying.
So they fly to the resort in England where Cloud and Tifa are staying.
To Be Continued...
Part2