SUMMARY OBJECTIVE:

After working so many years without appearing in „Forbes”, I concluded that something is definitely rotten in the state of Denmark. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to Denmark to find out what's wrong, so instead of going there, I decided to take a break and investigate it here.

Here is the quintessence of my conclusion:

• I need to work less, yet earn more money.
• I need to like what I do for the living.
• I need development, not the narrowest specialization.

 

CAREER AND ACHIEVEMENTS:

Various Activities	2009 - present
Student and Entrepreneur during my paid Child Care LOA	Home

Synopsis:

From March to August 2009, I took some time off a regular job, rebuilt my physical condition at the swimming pool, graduated the first year of my Master Degree studies and started a small (unofficial) business in IT services.
From September 2009 to present day, I made use of my Child Care Leave of Absence right, continuing my Master Degree studies and the small business.

 

Hanil Electronics, Inc.	2008 - 2009
Network Administrator	Palota, Bihor

Description: Hanil Electronics is a korean company whose Romanian branch is a subcontractor for Samsung Electronics Co. (East European Division). Hanil's romanian plant assembles exclusively for Samsung a range of LCD products (monitors, TV sets, photoframes, etc). Cool as it may sound, for me it sucked, big time!

Synopsis:

According to my job description, I should have maintained and administered the company's network, as well as performing some production engineering tasks. However, due to the fact that there wasn't any domain name (just a peer-to-peer network) and I wasn't getting any cooperation from Hanil's management or Samsung's personnel, my job was merely patchwork. Since there wasn't any perspective of getting better, I decided to quit. So far, so good...

 

Infologic, Inc.	1999 - 2008
Informatics Department Manager	Oradea

Description: Infologic Inc. is a romanian satellite of the american BluePoint Co., specialized in supplying processed résumés databases for major american personnel recruiting companies. Among dozens of corporate customers features Pfizer, Targeted Job Fairs and Harris Corp.The company computer network consists of 3 server stations running on a WinNT platform (i.e., the domain controller, the file server and the mail server), 25 working stations on Win'98 and 3 processing stations on Win2000 Workstation.

Responsibilities:

• The main task was to quickly execute all orders, decisions and suggestions that came out from the two powers that be: the american owner and the romanian business administrator.
  Easy if the chain of command talks the same language, but of course, this was not the case...
• The second main task was to please the above-mentioned persons by increasing the yield per employee, preferably eluding any contradictory discussions about salary raises, overtime or moral principles.
  Very easy if you don't give a damn about your co-workers...
• The third main task was to pretend that I'm busy, so that no one could notice that I'm actually skipping on work.
  Not too hard, since the others were really busy!

Achievements:

• In order to fullfill the first task successfully, I have developed two more personalities, preventing them to fight with each other or with the first one. Not an easy thing to do, really...
• I gained weight, putting on at least 15% to my initial body weight. In other words, I have perfectly combined sitting on my ass all day with an utter lack of common sense.
• Have gained a highly valuable specialization, learning almost eveything about almost nothing.

 

Bihor Environment Protection Agency	1997 - 1998
Nuclear Activities Inspector	Oradea

Responsibilities:

• Inspecting the nuclear units according to the standards and the legal regulations specific to this field. In most of the cases, a very boring stuff, with a lot of inevitable red tape.
• Conceiving the control reports, monitoring the follow-through, fining the breakings of the law. This was a senseless masochistic thing to do, really! Imagine the state fining the state and you will get the bloody picture!
• Weekly and monthly reporting to the headquarters of C.N.C.A.N. (The National Commission for the Control of The Nuclear Activities) about the situation in the field. Yet another boring red tape, in other terms...

Achievements:

• In six months, I doubled the registered nuclear units from Bihor county by requiring them to register legally.
  Poor bastards!
• Created and updated an archive containing every detail of the local nuclear activities.
  Nice archive indeed, it would have looked great in the Museum of Boring Things!
• Learnt to conceive clear and accurate reports. Natural born learner!

 

Emanuil Gojdu National College	1996 - 1997
Teacher of Physics	Oradea

Achievements:

• One of my students conquered the 3^rd place at The National Physics Olympiad.
  Don't ask me how, 'cause I don't know. You better ask him!

Reason for leaving:

• Occurences and reoccurences of pedophilic tendencies.

 

OTHER EMPLOYMENT:

Daedalus - Marketing & Research, Co.	1998 - 2001
Field Interview Operator	Oradea

(Part-Time)

Description: Daedalus Company is specialized in marketing and market research, working for major corporate clients like Vodafone, ING Group, Procter & Gamble, Saatchi & Saatchi, Amroq Quadrat Beverages, etc.

Responsibilities:

• Going to the specified location/route in the field, in order to approach the respondents. Politely, yet firmly interviewing them, keeping a strict confidentiality of data and clients. Also making telephonic approaches or interviews.
• Correctly completing the assigned quota of questionnaires, respecting the specified deadline.
• Daily reporting about the ongoing project's phase, as well as about the situation in the field.

Achievements:

• I have completed 32 market research studies, with a minimal rate of errors. Pfffff...

 

ING Romania, Co.	1998 - 1999
Insurance Agent	Oradea

Registered Life Insurance Agent

Responsibilities:

• Prospecting and contacting the clients, trying to convince them about the necessity of a life insurance policy. In other words, behaving like a real pain in the but!
• Finding out together the most suitable life insurance package for each client. Explaining the terms of the contract (of course, not the ones that were bad...)
• Filing and collecting the insurance application form; collecting the first premium pay; client service.

Achievements:

• Got acquainted with the structure, standards and working style of a big company (but I'm not sure this is an achievement).
• Greatly improved my communication, selling and negotiating skills (i.e., I can be a real bitch when I want to).

 

VOLUNTEER WORK:

DMOZ.org and Zeal.com	2001 - 2007
Editor	Various Internet Directories

Description: DMOZ.org and Zeal.com are two important internet directories, providing updates for main search engines like Google, MSN and Netscape Search.

Responsibilities:

• Checking the URL, site content, links validity, absence of redirecting or mirror sites, etc (i.e., all the stuff I've never considered).
• Editing entries for various categories of internet directories, for the eligible sites.

Achievements:

• Successfully maintained and reorganized the subdirectories of each category I am in charge of. Then, one day, it all seemed stale, so I didn't do it anymore.

 

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND:

SCHOOL/LOCATION/PERIOD	ACADEMIC TITLE	FIELD	GPA
Home University of Home 1972 - present	Doctor of Philosophy	All	10/10
Bad Neighborhood of Useful Habits 1982 - present	Master of Arts	Swearing, Smoking and Drinking	8/10
Community Center of the Damned 1986 - present	Bachelor of Arts	Time Killing	10/10
High School of Movies and Television 1990 - present	General Equivalency Diploma	Movies Piracy and Channel Hopping	10/10

 

OTHER FORMAL EDUCATION / CERTIFICATIONS:

INSTITUTION/PLACE/PERIOD	QUALIFICATION	CERTIFICATION
Empornium.com 2005 - 2008	Movie Reviewing	Porn and Erotic Movie Reviewing
ThePirateBay.com 2005 - 2009	Torrent Downloading	Bit Torrent Protocol Client and Server

 

ANCILLARY SKILLS:

• Loyal, honest and committed (to myself).
• Imaginative, inspired, have a real talent to improve (any scheme).
• Great power of working under close deadlines (closer than a minute).
• Highly trainable: fast learner, good retention (and an even faster erasure).
• Eloquent and coherent, both spoken and written (when I'm not drunk).
• I never make any mistakes (because I am too lazy to work anything).
• Innovative, creative, positive thinking (especially after a glass or two).
• Work experience with people of different background (out at the gym).

 

COMPUTER SKILLS:

FIELD	SKILL
OFFICE:	Word: I can read, write, spell and print from Microsoft Word. When it gets really hard, I can use the Office Assistant (what a naughty little one!). What else could a man want from a program? Excel: I can add up, substract, multiply and divide (but not with 0). I could do many other things, like square root, averages from sheet to sheet, but why bother with that and getting headaches? PowerPoint: I currently open and view every slideshow sent or forwarded by my Messenger contacts. That's a lot, believe me! Access: I can access Access, but that program is a pain in the ass and very hard to learn, so I usually close it immediately after I open it due to a mistake. Notepad: This program is the most perfect expression of what I love most: lack of formatting, easy interface and simplicity of use.
INTERNET:	Messenger: Yahoo Messenger (chatting, avatars, online games, file exchange, audio and video calls, using Yahoo Mail!), Windows Live Messenger (same features, plus Hotmail), ICQ, WinPopup (from Windows '98). Browsers: Internet Explorer, Mozilla-Firefox, Opera, Google Chrome. I know to search on the internet, to read and send e-mail, to print the pages, and many other interesting things! Online Games:World of Warcraft, Eve Online, Everquest, Aion: The Tower of Eternity, etc.
SOFTWARE:	Role Playing Games: Gothic, Gothic II+Night of the Raven, Gothic 3, The Witcher, Dragon Age, Diablo II, Two Worlds, many other. Strategy Games: Starcraft, World of Warcraft: The Frozen Throne, Majesty, Patrician II, Dragon Age, Diablo II, Two Worlds, Port Royale, many other. First Person Shooters Games: Doom III (serie), Quake II, Quake III: Arena; Quake IV, Call of Duty, etc. Adventure Games: Syberia; Syberia II, Broken Sword, The Longest Journey, etc. Sporting Games: Need for Speed, Burnout, Flatout, etc. Online Games: World of Warcraft, Eve Online, Everquest, Aion: The Tower of Eternity, etc. Imaging: MS Paint, Picassa, ACDSee, etc. Video Playing, Ripping and Publishing: Windows Media Player, BS Player, MPlayer; Magic DVD Ripper, #1 DVD Ripper, AutoGK, Online Video Hunter Professional; YouTube. Sound playing and ripping: Winamp, Windows Media Player, GermaniXRipper. P2P: µTorrent, BitTorrent, BitComet, DC++, StrongDC++, Yahoo! Messenger, Windows Live Messenger, ICQ, Skype. IP2phone: Skype, Pamela for Skype Professional, Yahoo Messenger, Windows Live Messenger. Other: many other, for many other purposes.
SECURITY:	Internet Security: Windows Firewall, Antivirus Software. Computer Security and Protection: I know how to create a user password, how to add a file to a passworded archive, how to configure screensaver passwords, anything you can think of, I can think of, too. I know that a computer must not be used very extensively for a very long period of time, because it can heat up and break down! File Protection: I know to make a file hidden, so that it cannot be viewed by others in Windows Explorer! Data Backup and Restauration: I know to burn data DVDs, so that I can back up what's on the hard disk and free up some space!
HARDWARE:	Core components: I recognise and am able to install a processor, a RAM module, a PCI waffer, a hard disk, a CD/DVD drive or a battery inside a computer case. Peripheral components: I can install/change a mouse, keyboard, monitor, printer, scanner, USB flash memory or card, etc. Network components: I can automatically connect to a wireless network, if I have a wireless network adapter.

 

LANGUAGE / PRESENTATION / SOCIAL SKILLS:

• Romanian: excellent; very good communication skills, both verbally and written. A very developed vocabulary. I can talk for hours without anyone noticing.
• English: I know how to use „hello”, „hi”, „I love you”, „see you later”, „good-bye”, „son of a bitch” or „fuck you”. I also know how to ask for food, drink, especially with my hands and fingers. I can even understand some words from the english movies!
• French, German, Hungarian: not so good as English...

 

MISCELLANEOUS: 1.87 meters height, 89 kilos. Clean socks. Two pair of glasses. Floss after every meal.

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS: Computers (Internet Relay Chat, online gaming). Sports practicing (swimming, tennis, football). Sleeping many hours and then eating. Reading (e-mail, tabloids and some teletext trivia).