American Psycho 2: All American Girl
Starring...Mila "That 70's Show" Kunis, William Shatner
My Rating:
All American girl huh? Try more like All American piece of shit! See that nice weapon in her hand? Might be cool to kill people with what this being a HORROR movie and all. And that the title is American PSYCHO. But nooooo that was out of there budget! Instead we have off the screen shots of her killing someone with ice picks, and condoms and spewing off the worst one-liners since I don't know what! The only reason this film even got 1 flaming skull was because of all the references to Ed Gein! The only time I actually was interested was when they showed Patrick Bateman for the 4 scenes they had him in! Well, here is the story...if you can call it a story...
Rachael Newman (No relation to George Newman) is the only person to survive the great Patrick Bateman. Now what seems odd to me, is how Patrick killed what? "ALOT OF PEOPLE!" All of them adults right? So, how does the most kick ass psycho since Hannibal Lector get killed by some stupid little girl? How? By a fucking Ice PICK! Yeah that's a great way to kill off a classic psycho, and don't even have the decency to show it you lazy fucking bastards! ::sigh:: Now, after they have contradicted the whole essence of the first film they begin with her saying she wants to be a Teacher's assistant so she can get into QUANTICO, so she can stop serial killers? Sound like a great film yet? So, someone who wants to stop serial killers kills civilians so she can stop killers from killing civilians???? HUH!?!?!? DID ANY FUCKING THOUGHT GO INTO THIS WASTE OF FILM!?!?!? So how do we cover up our shitty plot? Very simple! We fill it with shitty deaths and shitty one-liners! Take this one for example...
She has just killed some guy with a condom and she says...
"Ribbed...for her pleasure!"
OH YEAH! That's a good one! Hell of alot better then what Patrick Bateman, God bless this line...
"Don't just stare at it , EAT IT!" Oh how I loved those one-liners from Patrick. To bad we got shit in this. And the fact that they kill him off like that is such a gay way to kill off a character from the first. Also, wasn't he supposed to be from the 80's??? Did we forget what ERA we are supposed to be in!?!? OH MY GOD! This film sucked so much and I had been looking forward to it for so long ::sigh:: Well, there goes what could have been the start of a beautiful series. I mean, first off, I must say the mere fact of the brunette from That 70's show being a psychopath is mind boggling! SHE CAN'T ACT!!!! HER VOICE IS ANNOYING!!! I WANTED HER TO DIE!!!! BRING BACK PAT! I am gonna start up a site that is gonna be all about BRINGING BACK OL' PAT!!!!!!!!!! She ends up killing off everyone that stands in her way, some school where nobody notices, 4 of the smartest students and a secretary MISSING!!! Only when fucking Shatner is missing, does anybody begin to notice! It was predictable in the end and it ends with the Urban Legends' end clip. PATHETIC!
R.I.P. Patrick Bateman
I say, please avoid this film at all costs. This is for hardcore Mila Kunis fans only (yeah, like that will ever happen!) or anyone that likes pure shit films. Poor Patrick Bateman, having to endure even being in this piece of shit! Bate ol bud, you should sue! I will be your attorney and we will win bro!
Special Guest Reviewers:
George Newman
"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY NAME!!! THAT IS AN INSULT TO MY FAMILY!!! You should be ashamed!"
Kooni
"I won't let you down? THATS A ONE-LINER!?!?! THAT IS SO STUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIID!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Drill Sergeant Hartman
"YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT! I SWEAR IF I EVER SEE YOUR WEAK LITTLE BITCH ASS AROUND MY SQUAD, I WILL RIP OUT YOUR BALLS AND FEED THEM TO YOU ON A PLATE! AM I UNDERSTOOD!?!?!? BATEMAN WOULD HAVE MADE A DAMN FINE MARINE AND THE MERE THOUGHT OF SOME TWINKLE TOE COCK SUCKER BARBIE LOVING BITCH LIKE YOU KILLING HIM IS ABSURD!"