The Attic Expeditions
Starring...Jeffrey Combs, Ted Raimi, Seth Green, and Alice Cooper.
My Rating:
Now that we got the big names out of the way of the all star cast, let me just say this film...woah. I am still like in awe as to how cool this movie is. This movie was such a fucking head trip, also, it's one of those films that you must watch more then once to fully understand. I shall TRY to explain the film without ruining the ending...
Trevor is a messed up guy. He has had a wierd operation done to him and doesn't remember what happened to his Fiance, although he killed her during a ritual with this magical book. He doesn't recall any of it. Dr. Eck sends him to a halfway house to finish his recovery called "The house of Love" once he gets there, there is a girl who never leaves her room, a seemingly gay man, a halfwit and his sock puppet, a slutty girl who wants to screw any new man around, and of course, the owner of the house, the sweet woman that has a temper of her own. Trevor keeps having these nightmares about a chest in the attic. What it unlocks, and what is in it. When one by one the people are knocked off, the film gets wierder, and the twisted plot sorta reveals?
This movie was a headtrip, it fucks with your mind and is worth seeing. The SFX are pretty cool but there were a couple of problems with it. They never really explain why this book is so important, and the trailer is very misleading! They milk what the actors have been in to an extreme.
I say, if you find this movie, grab it and try not to miss any parts. But I think that any true fan of horror will like this movie. Hey, if not, look at all the stars you get to see in this! When was the last time you saw Alice Cooper playing a mental patient?
Special Guest Reviewer:
George Newman
"Ya know, that Amy, I think she takes the meaning of the HOUSE OF LOVE to the full extent of the word. Sure nurse, you can check me in, just make sure I bunk in that house, Newman needs lovin to!"
Ashley J. Williams
"Umm excuse me, but since when was Ted Raimi the star of Evil Dead? Lay the credit where it lies bud, or else there will be a new meeting, my fist and your face. They will become real close friends."
Billy Madison
"I enjoyed my stay at the house of Love, they had nudee magazine day, and they had a real nice girl there with a cute bum. Also, I finally found out where my friend Mr. Sock Puppet lizard man went."
Drill Seargent Hartman
"Why if they had sent that twinkle toe cock sucker to me, I would have whipped him into shape! Don't need no sissy mary House of love to straighten someone out. WHY! NO ONE FUCKS WITH THE MARINES! NO ONE!"
Rambo
"Yeah, I was once a Marine under Hartman's watch and look at me now! To bad he didn't teach me how to fly this helicopter OH SHIT! TREE TREE!!!!!!"
Archie Bunker
"Is the House of Love still open? I think they forgot a few of there members. Sheesh, This building is so filled with dingbats and meatheads, a guy could go whacky in here!"
Billy Madison
"WHO YOU CALLING MEATHEAD!?!?!? YOU ARE A SPY AREN'T YOU!?!? MR.PENGUIN SENT YOU HERE DIDN'T HE!!!!!! AHHHHHHH BACKLA INEESHA OONATA, ATA COO COO VALA VALA HIE HIE! BASTONIE ALLA GONTOOPOOP!!!!!!!!!
Koonie
"He talkin gibberish and people says I talks funny! STUPPPPID!!!!! YOUR SO STUUUUPIIIIIDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
...This is my hell. . .