~Cast~Cemetery Man (1994)
~Cast~
Rupert Everett................................Francesco Dellemorte
François Hadji-Lazaro....................Gnagi
Anna Falchi.....................................She
Directed by.......................................Michele Soavi
My Rating:
"You're supposed to be setting a good example, now will you get back to your coffin immediately!" ~Francesco Dellemorte
Ok folks, I am going to admit something here....when I originally created this website back in the days of FREESERVERS and pop-ups galore (God help anyone who remembers that) I started the site off with 5 reviews...CEMETERY MAN was one of them. The first time I saw this movie, after it was bragged about and talked up to the point of insanity, I despised it. I thought it was the most incoherent piece of shit I had ever seen. I had the opportunity thanks to Anchor Bay to re-watch this movie and give it a second chance to impress me or at the very least not make me want to take deep breaths inside a zip lock bag! It worked folks, I originally watched this movie not even looking at the under tones and the messages behind it. Instead I took it for just some fucked up, bizarre Italian film with no rhyme or reason to anything. If you look at this movie from a logical stand point, you won't like it in the slightest for it does not have the slightest realism in it. However, if you look beneath the surface, CEMETERY MAN is brilliant. It is a beautiful and captivating movie that shows us how true art/film is made.
Francesco Dellemorte is a cemetery man at Belle Forte Cemetery where the dead just don't seem to want to come to terms with being dead. Seven days after being put into the ground, they return. Francesco calls them RETURNERS and the only way to deal with them is by massive head trauma. In other words, shoot them in the head, or split the head open with a spade. Gnagi is his dim-witted sidekick who ends up falling for a dismembered head of a woman who he threw up on. Francesco falls for a woman who just lost a loved one and then ends up meeting others who look exactly like her. This probably isn't making ANY sense is it? Good, see the movie and you will see what I am talking about.
CEMETERY MAN or DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE is the perfect blend of comedy and bizarre horror with an underlying hidden meaning that catapults this underrated classic from the dead into the land of the living! My original review went on and on about how much I hated this movie and that was because I completely missed the point of it. Now I am seeing it and I’m realizing how amazing this movie is. Truly one of the best Italian horror films ever made in my opinion...and Rupert Everett should get more recognition. Never again will I look at him the same way in MY BEST FRIENDS WEDDING!
Rupert Everett stars in this film as THE CEMETERY MAN and nails the character on the dot. I thought he was outstanding in the role. François Hadji-Lazaro plays Gnagi and was the perfect nail to seal this coffin for good. He was the heart and soul and provides some of the single most entertaining scenes in the whole movie. Despite the fact he only has pretty much one thing he says throughout the whole movie ("GNEH!”) he still comes across with more to say then most characters ever do. Anna Falchi was HOT in this movie, and let me tell you she has her work cut out for her playing three roles as "SHE" and not a single time does she ever disappoint. Michele Soavi proved to be a master of his craft when he made this movie. The hidden messages he has built into this film from the simplest of things such as Gnagi being able to put together a skull that Francesco can't, to the conversations with death itself are superb. I only wish more directors could take from Soavi. Then we would have some good films hitting theatres!
Gore wise this movie has it. Let me tell you, they do not spare on the head shots. We get an exploding head, a bullet through the eye, spades in the cranium, and tons of innocents being shot at point blank range. If you have a thing for head shots, this is your movie. As for nudity, Anna shows off her HUGE nipples that almost swallow her entire bosom whole! Very nice seeing her and damn that Rupert for getting her all those times! SHARE THE WEALTH BROTHA! As for the ladies, they can get Rupert Everett in all his naked glory including one shot of his "boys" which caught me off guard. So Ladies... CEMETERY MAN isn't just for the guys!
DVD wise, this film has been a long time coming with its delayed crawl to DVD. So did Anchor Bay give us all something worth the wait? Not really. See folks, when a film such as this gets put onto DVD, it needs more then some bare bones disc that makes us go "What the fuck took so long!?" Fans of this movie have been waiting YEARS for it to come to DVD and now that it is finally here all we get is a trailer, a featurette, a commentary, and an eight page booklet. No deleted scenes, no UNRATED version, no RUPERT EVERETT commentary. I for one am quite let down. Don't get me wrong, though, watching this crisp and crystal clear picture in widescreen with 5.1 Dolby Digital almost made me tear up inside. The movie itself is well worth the wait and at $14.99 you really can't go wrong. It is definitely worth every penny spent and more.
I say, despite my original review for this movie, I gave it a second chance and I am so glad that I did. This movie is now becoming a favorite of mine and the fact that it has taken me almost four years to realize that astonishes me. The beauty this movie captures in the dark world that Francesco and Gnagi live in is truly amazing. CEMETERY MAN goes above and beyond your average ZOMBIE movie and takes it to a whole new level. If you want to make yourself truly happy do yourself a favor and pick this one up.
Special Guest Reviewer
Francesco
Dellemorte
Death, death, death comes sweeping down, filthy death the leering clown, death on wings, death by surprise, failing evil from worldly eyes, death that spawns as life succumbs, while death and love, two kindred drums, beat the time till judgement day, an actor in a passion play, without beginning, without end, evermore, amen.