Cut (2000)
DVD Features: Widescreen, Dolby Stereo, Trailer, Scene Access, Interactive Menus, English, Spanish & French Subtitles.
Starring...Molly Ringwald, Jessica Napier, Simon Bossell, Sarah Kants, and (for all of 5 minutes) Kylie Minouge
Directed by...Kimble Rendall
My Rating:
Good old 80's icon Molly Ringwald...nice to see where her career has gone. Went from doing films like Breakfast Club and 16 Candles....to films like....well CUT!!! This film was VERY lame, the acting is bad, the story is predictable, and there is no DEPTH. It tries to be smart with coming up with horror movie names like saying there film will be gorier then the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre...well, had they SEEN that movie, they would know that TCM wasn't that gory to begin with! The killer's weapon looked gay as hell, that is what I hated the most. His weapon of choice is a pair of garden sheers, but these sheers are long on one side, and the other is just a little stub!!! Anyway, here is the story...
1985, a film called Hot Blooded is being filmed, it is supposed to be a giant horror movie that will be scarier then anything. But when the director Hilary (Kylie Minouge) humiliates the actor playing the killer, he kills her and cuts off her tounge. Then Vanessa, the lead actress in Hot Blooded comes in, and ends up KILLING the bastard. Then the film gets canned and 14 years pass by without it ever being released. Now, a bunch of film students decide to get the unfinished film, and finish it. But there is a curse on the print (so what else the fuck is new?) and it ends up killing anyone who watches it. So of course, to make this film even STUPIDER...Mr. JACK SKELETON look alike comes out and starts offing everyone with his retarded little garden sheers wishing he could be HALF of what Michael Myers is!
The film must have some of the dumbest scenes in horror movie history, like the one scene where they are all watching the screening of the film, and SOMEHOW, they all put on fake blood on there necks, and pretended to be dead. I mean, I know it's hard to see in the dark of movies...BUT HAVING THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU GET UP AND PUT MAKE UP ON 12 PEOPLE!?!??! Or what about the scene where the girl goes into get the stunt guy, and he just killed the REAL stunt guy, and there is a GIANT puddle of blood in clear view, but she doesn't notice it!!! OR!!! EVEN BETTER! How about when he just gets up, and switches the weapons...LIKE NOBODY NOTICED THAT! Ok guys let's roll them, he is just getting a cup of coffee! Fucking IDIOTS! WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS SHIT!?!?
The acting is horrid, Molly Ringwald is decent in what she has to work with. Despite I wanted to rip her throat out because she played SUCH a bitch in this film. Jessica Napier does her best to be a SIDNEY PRESCOTT/ NEVE CAMPBELL wannabe but doesn't convince me one bit. The rest of the cast spew out UNFUNNY jokes and one liners that I sat there and asked my friend "Were we supposed to laugh at that?" and he said "I think so, that may have been them taking a STAB at a joke..." And I said "Yeah, guess it didn't CUT it for me" HAHAHA!! Yeah pretty gay joke huh? WELL THATS FUNNIER THEN THE JOKES IN THIS MOVIE!!!
The gore is the only thing this film has got going for it. It is pretty gory but the stupidity of the film makes this gore useless. I can't get over how DUMB these fucking people were. No nudity whatsoever, none! We do get a lesbian kiss though...thats always fun to see ::rolls eyes::
Also, once again, we have the pointless detective character in this film. As in THE POOL, he is in it, and serves no other purpose then to add to the body count. I am so sick of seeing that, if you want a bigger body count, at least make it SEEM like the detective will live. Not have in have 3 lines, then DEAD!!! I actually forgot about him by the end of the movie then when he showed up I was like....hey there WAS a detective...and his dyke partner who my friend and I swore was a man!!!
The DVD is depraved of features, the sound DID sound pretty good though. I sometimes think that movies that say they are just in Dolby Stereo sound better then half of the films that are in DTS 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound...maybe because I am expecting them to be alot better then they really are. Anyway, the picture is decent nothing spectacular, and the 3 trailers we DO get show this movie, Addiction (a film I want to see) and Blood Surf (yes, Blood Surf) But hey, who needs features when you can sit and watch this movie???
I say, that unless you are a fan of Molly Ringwald, don't rent this film. It's not worth it and if you feel the urge to splurge some money or use your credit card. Do yourself and everyone around you a favor, and take a pair of scissors and CUT your credit card into little pieces. It's more entertaining then this film ever will be!!! Also, I have heard rumors of there being a CUT 2 in process, please, if this is true, PUT SOMEONE WITH A BRAIN BEHIND THE THE WRITERS CHAIR!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Special Guest Reviewers:
George Newman
"They DID have one really good idea in this film, they had to BURN the prints of it. To bad they didn't take there own smart idea and burn all the prints of CUT!!!"
Jack Torrance
"You had better pray that you don't watch the Shining and have me pop out. Because if I have to get off my lazy ass and come into your fucking home, I am going to cut your balls off and feed them to you on a platter!!! BALLS ALA MODE!!!!!"
Al Bundy
"Yes hello? Is this Molly Ringwald? Good! Al Bundy here...4 touchdowns in a single game . . . AL BUNDY!!! NO THIS IS NOT A PRANK CALL!!! I want to know what the hell you were thinking of when you did that movie Cut? I mean, I know your career has gone down the drain but how low have you sunk? I mean you should have LIMITS! Or at least show us some hooter! I would love to see what your plastic surgeon has done!!! ::click:: Hello? Hello?!? Lousy washed up actress!!!"