MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 6200
Episode #1: “A Shoulder To Lean On”
(A MiST of a Sailor Moon Fanfic)
(Cue the opening theme...)
In the not-too-distant future
Somewhere in time and space
Three unrelated Disney daubs
Are caught in a nasty place
Pursued by Yzma and her henchman Kronk
(Just another witch with a brain-dead lunk)
From her lab underground she sets her sights above
She’s out to torture all her captives on the Satellite of Love
Yzma: We’ll send them lousy fanfics
The worst that we can find
Kronk: La la la!
Yzma: They’ll have to sit and watch them all
And we’ll monitor their minds
Kronk: La la la!
Now keep in mind that they can’t control
When the fanfics begin or end
They’ll try to keep their sanity
With the help of their anime friends
SOL Roll Call:
Shinji! (“I CAN’T run away?”)
Ryoko! ("MAN, this is embarrassing.")
Thomas! ("Kee-ripes!")
Megara! ("Gee, *that’s* original.")
Milo-o! ("PLEASE get me down...")
If you’re wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts
Just repeat to yourself: “It’s just a MiST
I should really just relax...”
... for Mystery Science Theatre 6200!
SATELLITE OF LOVE
1430 HOURS
Megara, clearly none too pleased about something, stalked onto the bridge. “Where is he?”
Thomas looked up from his book. “Where is who?”
“Milo, that’s who! He told me he’d clean out the extruitor, and it’s starting to get really gunked up. I’m going to give the little geek a piece of my mind... What do you look so nervous about, anyway?”
"Just that I seem to be the nearest scapegoat," Thomas replied mildly. "You're not going to hit me, are you?"
Megara rolled her eyes and sighed as she left the bridge. "Wimp."
Within some five minutes, Milo strolled onto the bridge.
Thomas glanced up again. "It seems you've perpetrated another crime, Milo."
“I haven’t seen Meg all day. What did I do now?”
Thomas lifted an eyebrow. “Apparently, it's more what you didn't do.”
“It’s not my turn to clean out the extruitor, it's hers!” Milo sounded quite agitated. “And she knows it! She just loves giving me a hard time." He paused. "What are you reading? It’s not ‘Earth vs. Soup’ again, is it?”
Thomas favored Milo with a dirty look as a red light began to flash. "You're never going to let go of that, are you?"
“So are you going to press the button?” Milo inquired brightly.
“Sure. Tell you what - on my way there, why don’t I mix a Tom Collins for you and maybe spit-and-polish the hexfield?” Thomas said blandly.
Milo rolled his eyes and leaned over to tap the button. “Never mind.”
Yzma smiled fiendishly up at them from the viewscreen. “Well, well, if it isn’t Yakko, Wakko, and - wait a minute, where’s Dot?”
*pause*
An SD Milo bounces on screen. “Need some back-up? As you may know, some years ago a man named Joel Robinson was shot into space and forced to watch really bad B-movies, which he riffed mercilessly alongside his robotic companions, Tom Servo and Crow. He later escaped and was replaced with Mike Nelson, who also eventually escaped (taking Servo and Crow with him).
“Now, Yzma - who is scary beyond all reason by virtue of her age alone - has trapped Thomas, Megara, and myself onboard the abandoned Satellite of Love. Here she sends us really bad anime and Disney fanfiction, which we (in order to stay sane) riff like there’s no tomorrow.
“And now you know the back story... so good day!” SD Milo scampers away.
*back to the MiST...*
Milo glanced away while Thomas shrugged eloquently.
“Well, I’m rendered speechless by your sparkling wit,” Yzma replied dryly.
Kronk, Yzma’s loyal but none-too-bright henchman, scratched his head. “But... they didn’t say anything.”
Yzma took the effort to slap herself in the face. "It's what's known as sarcasm, Kronk."
Kronk stared at her blankly for a full three minutes and eight seconds.
Yzma stared back, growing steadily more perturbed at the notion of her dependence on him.
On the bridge, Milo and Thomas waited patiently.
Yzma shook her head as if to clear it and turned back to her captive audience. "Well, call her or something! I don't have all day!"
Milo sighed. "Ryoko?"
No answer.
"Ryoko!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Keep your pants on," a rather harsh, low female voice muttered. "*Please* keep your pants on." A moment later, a slender girl with gold eyes and quite arrestingly spiked green hair drifted through the wall and hovered in front of Milo. "What now?"
Milo favored the surly space pirate with a wide grin. "You don't know where Megara is, do you?"
Ryoko pondered it for the space of about a second. "Nope."
Milo's grin did not diminish. If anything, it grew. "Oh. Well, that's that, I guess. We'll send out the search party in a day or two, and --"
"Actually," another voice piped up, "I think she's on Deck Three. I just paged her to come to the bridge." A thin, dark-haired boy grinned nervously as he popped up.
Thomas chuckled behind his book. "What wonderful timing Shinji has."
Milo's good spirits, meanwhile, seemed to have vanished. "Well. Thanks. I guess."
"No problem!" Shinji said cheerfully, and dived back to his headphones. Ryoko grumbled something incomprehensible and uncomplimentary as she drifted away.
Megara stalked onto the bridge, eyes narrowed and mouth tight. Milo gulped.
"I thought I told you," Meg began in a dangerously calm voice, "to clean the extruitor."
Milo scrambled backwards as Megara began advancing, her intentions clearly far from nice. "N - now wait a minute, it's not my turn to --"
Megara's hands were just about to lock on his throat when Yzma lifted an eyebrow. "Excuse me -- Sharon, Lois, Brahm? Can you please hold off on your family squabble until we've sent you your fanfic?"
Milo breathed a sigh of relief. Megara breathed a sigh of disappointment. Thomas shook with silent laughter, face safely hidden behind his book.
Yzma sniffed. "It's about time you got down to cowering. That's why I'm sending you the 'Sailor Moon' fanfic 'A Shoulder to Lean On.'"
"'Sailor Moon?'" Megara snorted. "You're sending us a 'Sailor Moon' fic? Gee, somehow I'm not quite scared."
Yzma smiled wickedly and was about to reply when Kronk began jumping up and down, waving his hand in the air. "Oh! Oh! Yzma, isn't this the part where you make a cynical, evil comment so you can lower their morale and build suspense?"
Yzma rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like there'd be any point to that *now.* You've ruined the chance to put the fear of Yzma into them."
"But I thought you wanted to --"
"Just send them the fanfic, Kronk."
Kronk shrugged and dropped the fic into the umbiliport as the viewscreen flickered and faded to black.
Megara, Milo, and Thomas all stared somewhat bemusedly at the screen for a moment.
Finally, Thomas said, "Think we should pray for him?"
Before either Milo or Megara could answer, lights began to flash and sirens started to blare. Ryoko's voice, sounding more cheerful than it had all day, crackled through the PA system.
"Hate to interrupt your brilliantly witty chit-chat, but you guys have fanfic-sign!"
(Door #6: It's covered in hieroglyphics. You place an ankh-shaped key in the lock and it silently swings open.)
(Door #5: It's not a door at all, but a long corridor flanked by white pillars.)
(Door #4: It's actually a section of the Mass Pike, the world's longest parking lot. You ditch your car and hike away so you can make better time.)
(Door #3: It's made up of videos and merchandise from 'Star Wars: Episode I.' You take great joy in smashing through it.)
(Door #2: It's a simple drawbridge that falls directly toward you, missing you by mere inches.)
(Door #1: The two sections of the door slide back into the wall, allowing you to enter the theatre.)
Thomas enters the theatre first, followed by Megara and then Milo. The screen flickers to life...
>Ok hello everyone back again.
Milo: Shouldn't there be at least a few commas in that sentence?
Thomas: Commas you say Milo?
Milo: Yes, Thomas, commas!
>This is another old one I found but it was unfinished I
>totally have forgotten were I was going to take it.
Megara: Hoo boy...
Thomas: This is going to hurt, isn't it, Meg?
Megara: Yes.
Milo: PUNCTUATION! USE IT!
>Right now its kinda like meaningless
>drivel
Thomas: 'Nuff said!
Milo: It's rare to see an author comment on their own work like that...
>but with a little work I am sure it could be better any ideas please
>send them to me!
Megara: Heh heh heh... why, thank you...
>Like always I don’t own anyone in here and by golly she finally gave
>back my rubber chicken!!
Megara: Is that some kind of idiom or something?
Milo: Well, I’m a linguist, and I couldn’t tell you what the author's talking about at this point...
>So if you want it its yours!
Thomas: *shakes his head* I don't want it!
>A Shoulder to Lean On
Milo: *sings* Lean on me... when you're not strong...
Thomas: Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.
>The morning sun seemed to dance in and out of the trees in a soft
>white light, while the cool air whispered its song along its windy
>path.
Megara: Heavy imagery incoming!
Milo: Duck and cover!
>Chad was out front sweeping the steps
>of the Cherry Hill Temple.
Megara: Oh, great, it's the DiC dub version.
Thomas: Splendid, we get to hear more about 'Chad' and 'Reenie' and 'Amarra.'
Milo: Guys, you shouldn't be so critical of the NA dub.
Megara: I'm surprised you'd actually defend those DiCs...
Thomas: Meg!
Milo: ...
>His broom moved with angry stokes kicking up the dust and
>leaves in a whirlwind of motion.
Thomas: [imitating broom] *Unprintable* *Unprintable* *Unprintable* dust, *Unprintable* *Unprintable* why'd it have to come here?
Milo: Nice rewrite! I give it a 6.7!
Megara: You two and your blatant plugs...
>Pausing in is angry tirade Chad sighs deeply then in one
>final thrust of the broom sweeps the pile over to the edge
Megara: ...of what?
Milo and Thomas: Don't ask.
>and brushes it off into the landscaping with one stroke. Turning back
>around Chad slowly sulks into the Temple
Milo: Uh, 'sulks' isn't a verb of motion.
Megara: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick...
>and puts the broom away.
Thomas: THRILL as he TIDIES UP!
Megara: *hums the James Bond Theme*
>Grandpa was out looking for more help
Milo: And by help, of course, we mean -
Megara: DON'T say it, Milo.
>and Rei had left earlier that day with Lita, Mina, and Ami. They were
>going to the mall today and then staying over at Lita’s.
Milo and Thomas: *suddenly seem dreamy-eyed*
Megara: *snorts* That’s men for you... Don’t think I don’t know what you're thinking, you two.
Thomas: What, that it's peculiar that Serena isn't with them, seeing as she's technically the one they owe allegiance to and fight for?
Megara: ...oh.
Thomas: ...and so the orgy would just be incomplete without her?
Megara: I KNEW IT!
Milo: What put that thought into your head, Thomas? You don't have a LoLITA complex, do you?
Megara: You're getting on that last nerve of mine, Milo.
>Of course Rei could not leave with out giving him a list of things to
>do and a lecture on his incompetence.
Thomas: Shouldn't it be 'Raye' if the author is using the NA dub names?
Milo: I’m still waiting for someone to notice the difference between ‘Ami’ and ‘Amy...’
>Just thinking about it again mad his blood boil.
Megara: [imitating Chad] Ow! That's hot!
>Closing his eyes he takes a deep breath trying to feel the sun on his
>skin and the wind in his hair.
Thomas: Hm. Yes. How completely in character for Chad.
>Ever so slowly his
>anger ebbs and once again begins his chores.
Milo: So his anger ebbed and then it began Chad's chores? I'm confused...
>Quickly he walks to the water closet
Thomas: [imitating Chad] I REALLY gotta go...
Milo: Wow, you don’t usually make jokes in keeping with your actual time period.
Megara: Because that usually means no one will get the joke, Milo.
Milo: ... oh, yeah...
Thomas: Pity, isn't it?
>and starts filling a bucket up with warm water.
>Grabbing the bottle of detergent Chad adds it to the rapidly filling
>bucket.
Megara: He gets ready to mop the floor! [hums the 'Avengers' theme]
Thomas: Putting in the detergent *before* the bucket is full? You're MAD!
Milo: *shakes his head*
>Grabbing the brush used to scrub the temple floor Chad spins around
>startled
Megara: Been smoking a little weed, have we, Chad?
Milo: So he was just startled? For no reason at all?
Thomas: Oh, sure, last time I grabbed a scrub brush I had nightmares for weeks...
>only to see the bluest eyes
Thomas: Those would be MINE, actually.
Milo: Dream on, sidekick-boy! My eyes are better!
Thomas: A shame that they happen to leave you about as blind as a bat.
Milo: ...
Thomas: Nyaah!
Milo: I’m sorry, what was that phrase again? >Oh, yes... ‘*minor* character,’ that was it, wasn’t it?
Thomas: ...
Milo: Nyaah!
Megara: I hate to break up this battle of wits, but could we get back to the MSTing already in progress?
Milo and Thomas: *nod sheepishly*
>he has every encountered framed by the thickest smoke lashes.
Milo and Thomas: Smoke lashes?
Megara: I'll have to look for that next time I go to Aphrodite's Secret.
>Surprised Chad lets
>out an "eep" before jumping back tripping over some unknown
>object,
Megara: Name me one guy who says 'eep.'
Thomas: Wiggins.
Megara: ...
Milo: Is he really a guy?
Thomas: Technically.
>falling to the floor in
>a tangle of long awkward limbs and soapy water.
[Megara slams her hands over both Thomas and Milo’s mouths]
Megara: Don't say anything... just let it go...
Milo: Mmmf fmph mmf? (Translation: But what was the "unknown" object that he tripped over? An elephant? A derby? A raisin? What?)
>"Chad are you ok!" Serena gasps reaching out to help him. Bending down
[Milo and Thomas stare dreamily at the screen]
Megara: ...completely hopeless.
>she picks up the bucket and the brush then, pausing to transfer
>everything to one hand she extends her free on to give Chad a hand up.
Thomas: That's the most I've ever seen her do without tripping herself and at least three other people.
>"Yeah Serena I’m fine. Only my pride is a bit bruised what are you
>doing here?" Chad looked at her confused as he wrung out his wet
>priest’s robes.
Milo: Bless me, surfer dude, for I have sinned...
>"I’m sorry I startled you but I have been calling Rei’s name and I got
>no answer
Megara: [imitating Serena] And the stupid ditz never checks her machine...
Thomas: Actually, Serena shouldn't be calling anyone a stupid ditz...
Megara: [still imitating Serena] Oh, bite me! It's fun!
>so I came in are you sure your ok?"
Milo: '... so I came in are you sure your ok?'
Thomas: Forget counting sheep - if you want to sleep, try counting the grammar errors.
Milo: I want to sleep through the fanfic, Thomas. I don't want to lapse into a coma.
>Chad gazed into her beautiful eyes. Genuine worry was reflected there.
Megara: As Chad continued to gaze into her beautiful eyes, he realized that it wasn't worry he saw reflected there, it was... it was his own reflection, as there was nothing in Serena's head worth mentioning... Serena had a brain cell count of roughly nine...
Thomas: Yeah, talk about dumb blondes...
Milo: HEY!
Megara: BING! That's a big one-zero on the Burn-O-Meter!
Thomas: That’s for calling me sidekick-boy, you stupid geek!
>She was wearing
>a light blue tank top and tan colored shorts. He hair was up in its
>usual style with two blue ribbons holding them in place.
Milo: Wow! Never in my life have I seen such smooth description so seamlessly integrated with a story!
Thomas: Shall we include it as an example in the Guide to Writing Really Good Fanfiction?
>She was
>rather pretty today; she looked soft and sorta touchable?
Megara: Why are you asking us? You're the writer.
>Chad blushed at his thoughts as her angelic voice broke him out of his
>trance.
Thomas: Serena's voice isn't exactly what I'd call angelic...
Milo: Heh, she is pretty whiny...
>"Chad?"
Milo: [imitating Chad] Huh? No, that's my name! You're Serena!
>"Huh?"
>Serena giggled at the look on his face.
Megara: [imitating Serena] Tee hee... I wonder if he knows his hair is doing that? I should tell him... hee hee...
Thomas: He he he...
Milo: *shivers* Don't DO that! It’s creepy!
>"Sorry to snap you out of your thoughts but have you seen Rei or any
>of the girls?"
>"Uh yeah they all left for the mall an hour ago. Aren’t you suppose to
>meet them there?"
Thomas: [imitating Serena] No, you see, we've got to fulfill this episode's wackiness quotient so I can't show up until they've all been attacked and nearly killed by the Nega-Verse, and I can't save them until after I've taken advantage of the mall's deserted state to visit all the ice cream and candy shops...
>Serena sighs, her bright smile fading from her lips at Chad’s words.
Milo: Yes, we've got bright smiles, we've got sardonic smiles, we've got smiles of all shapes and sizes! Come on down to Nuku Nuku's Academy of Smiling for a free sample!
Megara: [growls] If I hear ONE more blatant plug out of you...
Milo: Just giving credit where credit is due, Meg...
>"No they didn’t tell me any thing."
>"Oh I am really sorry Serena."
Thomas: Boy, can’t you just feel the pain and grief coming from Chad's direction right now?
>"Its ok hey, can I hang out here?" Serena asks hopefully her smile
>returning
Milo: Why, at Nuku Nuku's Academy of Smiling, you can even learn the Boomerang Smile! It fades, then returns, and it’ll never wear, tear, or --
[Megara smacks him upside the head]
Milo: -- rust!
Megara: You just never stop, do you?
>as she holds
>out the empty bucket to Chad. Slowly Chad takes the bucket from Serena
>and smiles back a teasing light in his eyes well if you could see his
>eyes.
Megara: Sadly, all we can see is his vacant, leering grin.
>"What! No video games?"
Thomas: [imitating Chad] *muttering* Saynosaynosaynosayno...
>Serena laughed and shook her head. Her silken, sun kissed hair seemed
>to float around her as she smiled.
Thomas: For a limited time only, get the Combination Hairdo/Smile class at Nuku Nuku's for the low, low price of --
Megara: Not you, too!
Thomas: Well, somebody had to do it.
>"No not today I’m broke. But hey can I give you a hand?"
Milo: Oh, how believable! Serena, freely offering to do manual labor!
>"Sure! I could use all the help I can get today grab a brush and come
>on."
Thomas: [leering] That's right, grab a brush and get on your hands and knees...
Milo: [drools]
Megara: [sighs]
>Laughing Serena bent down and picked up a brush as Chad refilled the
>bucket. Turning they went to the entranceway and kneeled down.
>Carefully Serena dipped her hand into the water warm soapy water
Thomas: Redundant much?
Milo: Funny, I'm experiencing déja vu.
Thomas: Redundant much?
Milo: Funny, I'm experiencing déja vu.
Megara: Wow, that joke is so original and funny! Ha!
Thomas: Boy, you don't let us have any fun, do you, Meg?
>and began scrubbing the wood floor in small circles. Chad looked at her
>and smiled.
Thomas: That's the fifth smile on this page alone. I've been counting.
>"So Serena why do you want to help me anyway?"
Megara: [imitating Serena] What the hell? I mean, do *you* enjoy spending time with Rei when she has PMS?
Milo: [imitating Chad] Uh, doesn’t she always have PMS?
Megara: [imitating Serena] You're starting to catch on, Kemosabe!
>"Well if I know Rei she probably gave you a list of things to do ten
>miles long!"
Thomas: *sings* You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt...
Milo: Oh, so I can’t do one little plug, but he can schill all he wants for The House That Walt Built?
>"How did you guess? " Chad laughs but there was bitterness
>underlining his words.
Megara: *pointedly ignoring Milo* Luckily, she could see the bitter lines under his words in the word balloon that happened to be floating over his head...
Thomas: Well, maybe if this was the Mixx manga...
>"Well I know Rei" Serena states a little sadly and softly.
Milo: Rei's a real drop of golden sun, isn't she?
>Together the two worked in compatible silence.
Milo: Companionable silence, yes. Comfortable silence, maybe. But compatible silence?
Thomas: And since when does Serena do *anything* in silence?
>Cleaning everything from the floors to the
>ceiling. Surprisingly Chad and Serena got done even before Rei’s
>grandfather came home.
Megara: What's so surprising about that?
Thomas: Nonsense, Meg! The old man may be a filthy lech who tries to flirt with junior high girls while he looks up their skirts, but he's always home by eight-thirty on the dot!
>Sighing in exhaustion Chad collapses on top of
>the temple steps propping his feet up on the railing
Milo: Boy, mopping the floor really takes it out of you, huh?
Megara: I know I'm still tired from having to CLEAN THE EXTRUITOR. *glares at Milo*
Milo: *ducks down into his seat*
>he leans back
>brushing his thick auburn bangs out of his eyes. Serena just sat
>herself down quietly beside him idly playing with a strand of her
>hair. Together they watch the sun setting in a fiery orange brilliance
>bathing the sky with its dying light.
Milo: Well, the grammar and punctuation are miserable and it's all OOC as hell, but this paragraph was pretty nice.
Thomas: Yeah, it gave me this warm, fuzzy feeling -- uh-oh...
Megara: Ladies and gents, we've struck WAFF!
>"You know what Chad?" Serena’s soft voice questioned breaking the
>comfortable silence of the day.
Thomas: [imitating Chad] What?
Megara: [imitating Serena] Chicken butt!
>Her sky blue eyes seemed to be soaking up the night times darkness
>making them more an inky black/blue and casting her hair into a
>brilliant silver than the sun warmed gold of the day. Turning
>slightly Chad looked at her.
Milo: [imitating Chad] Huh... that's funny... what with her eyes looking more like an inky black/blue and her hair cast into a brilliant silver, she looks almost like Sailor Moon... oh, that's ridiculous, just because she's the only person in Japan with the appropriate hairstyle and she's the right age and when Sailor Moon shows up she's always nearby but she's never actually there...
>His own eyes taking on a darker
>shade.
Megara: Possibly due to the fact that he had just donned his Ray-Bans?
>"What Serena?"
Thomas: The Serena that's sitting next to you! Pay attention!
>"I really had a fun time today.
Megara: [imitating Serena] ...doing your chores and not getting paid for it...
>More so than I probably would have had with Rei and the others I just
>wanted to say thank you. For letting me stay and help."
Milo: [imitating Serena] ...oh, and I wanted to say celery, too.
>Serena’s voice was so small and unsure that Chad raised and eyebrow at
>her. Giving her a smile he laughed and shook his head.
Megara: What's with all these smiles? No one's really that happy.
Milo: Kronk seems to be.
Thomas: Milo, Kronk is insane.
Milo: But he's the happy kind of insane.
>"No way Serena even I would have rather been out shopping or spending
>time writing my music but thanks for the thought.
Megara: [imitating Chad] I know you only have one or two a week, so I really appreciate it.
>To tell the truth I
>had fun too. All Rei ever does is yell at me and tell me I can’t do
>anything right.
Thomas: Gee, that wouldn't at all be because he *can't* do anything right, would it?
Milo: Well, geez, if you're going to be like *that*...
Thomas: Logical, you mean?
>But with you here you make everything seem like its
>going to be ok. I know I am not going to be here forever.
Megara: [imitating Chad] I'll stay at the shrine through this coming year, and then that's it!
>I can’t hide
>from life like someday I’ll go back home and be able to face my
>parents and friends.
Milo: Wait... those are two separate thoughts...
Megara: Oh, like you're some kind of authority on language! Just because you're a linguist!
Milo: Well, I -- huh?
>But until then if you ever need anyone to listen
>to you or have a problem you need help with I gladly lend my
>services."
Thomas: *yawns* Powerful stuff. As soon as I wake up, I'll try to start breathing again...
Megara: Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I can clearly picture a stoned surfer boy like Chad saying something like that...
>For a moment all the existed was Serena’s eyes in the now darkened
>sky. They seemed to sparkly just as brightly as the brightest stars in
>the sky, whether from tears or just strong emotions he couldn’t tell.
>But suddenly both her arms were around his neck as she gave him the
>sweetest hug he had ever received. She seemed to cling there for a
>long moment before gently pulling away and smiling softly.
Thomas: Stop freakin' smiling already! It's not that nice a moment!
Milo: [imitating Chad] You know... it's still early in the series... your relationship with Darien and my relationship with Rei are still kinda up-in-the-air... heh heh heh...
Megara: [imitating Serena] ...ooh, yes... and I still haven't been revealed as the Moon Princess, so I still *ahem* don't know that I'm destined to marry Darien... ooh... *giggles*
>"And with me too Chad you will always have a shoulder to lean on."
*pause*
Milo and Thomas: Oh, I get it!
Megara: *shakes her head*
>Her voice was barely above a whisper but in the space of a heart beat
>her lips landed on his cheek and she was gone.
Milo: So were her lips still there while the rest of her was gone?
Thomas: Of all the professions for a geek like you, you had to be a linguist.
Milo: Oh, like being a sidekick is a brilliant career.
Thomas: Hey, back off!
>Running down the steps her hair trailing behind her.
Thomas: Her sentence needing a verb.
>Slowly as if in a trance Chad stood and watched her darkened figure
>retreat into the night.
Thomas: And what a figure it was!
Milo: Yee haw!
>Suddenly he felt like laughing as a smile spread across his face and
>he shook his head.
>Tuning he headed into the temple to prepare dinner for Grandpa.
Milo: [imitating Chad] Heh heh... heh... jeez, what the hell was THAT?
Thomas: [imitating Chad] I thought she’d never leave. How was I supposed to dig through Rei’s underwear drawer while she was hanging all over me?
Megara: *sighs* Let’s get out of here before either of you gets the chance to say anything else...
SATELLITE OF LOVE
1545 HOURS
"That fic was a breeze!" Milo said cheerfully, cleaning his glasses on his shirt. "If that's the worst that Ozzie and Harriet can send us, we'll be off this satellite in no time!"
Megara rolled her eyes. "Tell me, Milo, did you ever remind your teacher when she forgot to assign homework?"
"Huh? What's *that* got to do with anything?"
"Never mind."
Thomas rolled his eyes. "Let me know when the funny dialogue is over," he muttered.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing."
"Anyway," Milo resumed, putting his glasses back on, "it shouldn't be too hard to get out of here and back to Earth."
"Oh, sure," Megara snorted. "We'll just pack up and walk away. In case you hadn't noticed, we're drifting through the cold darkness of space."
"No, no, he's got a point," Thomas replied. "There's at least one connection to the planet -- the umbiliport goes from here directly to Yzma's lab, remember?"
"Exactly," Milo nodded, happy to finally have some back-up for once. "So somehow, the SOL is connected to Earth. We just have to figure out how to use that connection."
Megara sighed. "That's a nice idea, Milo, but the umbiliport is fanfic-sized, remember? It might be kind of hard to fit any one of us through it."
"Well, what about Audrey?" Milo offered. "She's a mechanical whiz, she can probably modify the thing to get us through."
"Uh-huh, and we get Audrey up here how?"
"Oh." Milo pondered, chin in hand. "I hadn't thought of that... hmm..."
Megara turned to Thomas. "Well, that should keep him quiet for a while." She paused. "Hey -- just for the record, do you think we'll make it out of here?"
"Oh, sure," Thomas said. "After all, how are they going to do sequels if we're all trapped up here?"
"So it's all just a question of when," Megara mused.
"Pretty much." Thomas yawned. "Till then, I'm going to bed."
SECRET LAB
1545 HOURS
Yzma yawned. "Well, that's that for tonight. I'm going to get some beauty sleep -- not that I need it -- so file the experiment and push the button, Kronk. I'll catalogue their mental anguish tomorrow."
"What about dinner?" Kronk wailed. "I made my spinach puffs and --"
Yzma grimaced and rubbed her temple with bony fingers. "All right, a quick dinner and then I'm going to bed. Now take care of that experiment, monkey-boy!"
As Yzma stalked off, Kronk picked up the file and was about to put it into storage when his shoulder-devil appeared. "You're not just gonna do what she says, are you?"
Kronk blinked. "What do you mean?"
"C'mon, why do you let her boss you around?"
As Kronk puzzled, his shoulder-angel appeared over his other arm. "What are you trying to do? Get him sent up to the Satellite?"
"Aah, you're just a big sissy."
Kronk blinked. "You guys are starting to confuse me again. How do I get rid of you?"
"Well, when you push the button, we'll fade to black," his shoulder-angel pointed out helpfully.
"Why'd you tell him, you wussy?" the shoulder-devil groused.
Kronk waved his hand dismissively as he pushed the button. "Look, I've got dinner in the oven --"
A wisp of smoke blew by his face and dissipated in the air, bringing with it the acrid smell of something burning.
A look of panic stamped itself on Kronk's features. "MY SPINACH PUFFS!"
FADE TO BLACK...
THE END.
CREDITS
Thanks to:
Inspiration-wise: Megane 6.7, the FFML, and (natch) the original MST3K;
my proof-readers, Megu and the Notorious Andi;
my computer: Nate, the Destroyer of Worlds;
and of course, you. I mean, you read this far.
Thanks also to Disney, for letting me borrow Thomas, Meg, and Milo for a while. ~_^ No permanent damage was done.
//- Tsionainn (groovitude@hotmail.com :: http://freewebz.com/kurogane/)
STINGER
>"I’m sorry I startled you but I have been calling Rei’s name and I got
>no answer so I came in are you sure your ok?"