Fleetwood – on a scooter?   PHOTOS

Well, with it being the last rally of the season, I decided that I’d buck the trend and be controversial and go by scooter, leaving work at 12, and arriving in Fleetwood just after 4.  The journey was pretty uneventful, apart from the A6 being flooded at Buxton, and getting stuck in one of the more bizarre traffic jams in Disley, where the Children In Need crew were out harassing passing motorists for donations.  To encourage the donations, a local maiden was doing her best Lady Godiva impersonation, complete with fig leaves and horse – unfortunately, the horse was better looking, and some reports said that there were more Polo mints and carrots in the collection buckets than there was cash. The other trauma on the way there was on the M6 where I dropped the cake that I’d made for Oooh Aaargh’s coming out party – which in any case would have been academic, as he decided that he’s full on hetro after all!  Still the girl hidden inside the cake would’ve come in handy….. I arrived just as DMs and Dunney were returning to the caravan after their first warming up session in the bar.  Time to unpack, and have a beer for absent friends, and then power nap in keeping with the long-standing rally tradition. Refreshed and raring to go, well awake at least, we drifted to the bar, in the delightful company of the Osmonds, Savage & Angel, Andy & Dawn, Eileen, Munchkin and Oooh Aaargh, where we did the only sensible thing, and carried on drinking.  It was during this session that some very strange tendencies were identified from peeps’ postural habits, I can only say that they’re not true, and that I won’t be requiring a cake either! Tut! The do was good, an excellent mixture – and as I didn’t fall asleep, and was instead up dancing, I can only conclude that Tesco was nowhere near the decks.  During the evening I wandered between the three music rooms – none were over-busy, but all were occupied, and if you couldn’t find your musical taste, you really were in the wrong place! Saturday morning started too early, but a quick cuppa started to revive us.  We then got the royal summons, well Eileen rang, and told us to be round for brekkie at 9-30.  Now Dunney, being somewhat clairvoyant, and not to say a little lost on his way back from ‘fetching his morning paper’, managed to get there at 9, and was dispatched back to us until the duly appointed time.  Well the witching hour arrived (how appropriate is that?) and we all trouped off to Ellen’s to be fed a sumptuous feast of grease, processed meat, and other black things which she’d been cremating – and some lovely hash browns.  Well ok, a little overboard, in fact, a lot overboard, as this was comfortably the best brekkie that we had on Saturday! The parts fair was ok, nothing stunning, but the usual dealers were there: these guys really deserve our custom in my opinion, more than the dealers who only go to selected bigger events – ok they’re all in business, but I know where I’d sooner spend my hard-earned! Predictable the power nap interlude was next, to be followed by more lounging round in bars, before going to Blackpool pleasure beach with the Osmonds, Savage & Shell, and Pete.  Went on the Grand National with Sam, who proudly told all and sundry that I’d just had the ride of my life with her – didn’t have the heart to tell her that that came later on the Space Invader! We eventually found our way back to the site, chips & curry sauce for us tea, and then a shower and ready for the night time do.  Then the whole going out process ground to a halt, Dad decided he needed to power nap, Sam couldn’t decide what to wear [never seen that before] so me and Dean did the party animal thing and watched Popstars the Rivals and Millionaire.  As the evening wore on, so the sarcasm level in AVT’s texts increased, until we could stand it no more, and descended on the do.  We’d missed the first band, but the second band played a great mixture, and the final Ska set was fantastic.  Didn’t stop too late, the site of Savage sporting a pair of skimpy white lace knickers was all too much for most of us – though the funniest bit was Angel claiming they were a pair of her over-sized ones!! Sunday morning was get up and pack and go time.  Two of the Strange Town popped by for coffee on their way back to their digs, which was a good laugh, and brought things to an end in a pleasant way.  The journey back down the M6 was ok, back in time for lunch and more power napping – well it beats watching Manure on the telly! The location at Cala Grana is ideal for a rally, lots of rooms, things to amuse the kids (other than Dunney) and reasonable accommodation.  The down side was the attitude of some of the on-site security Muppets who were asking people to move their cars [from the slabbed area outside caravans??], and in all other ways proved themselves to be unhelpful, even having a go at some guy for throwing up – now I’m no doctor, but I always thought that retching was an involuntary reflex action, and certainly one that most of us, other than those with acute eating disorders which are few and far between on scooter rallies, would prefer to avoid.  Clearly from one of the local schools for the hard of thinking….

Look out for the rally highlights of the year report, coming your way soon!

BACK NEXT YEAR!!

ii I-Spy ii