Chester: We kind of just like ninjas and dark tunnels and fire.
Mike: And guys with big hair that look like werewolves.
Chester: Grr! Arr!
Brad: i want to know if joe hahn sleeps in the nude ?
Mike: yes he does (wink wink)
Chester: Everybody thinks we're a boy band!
Metal-is: Yeah, where does this come from? I never mistook you for a boy band
Chester: We're sooo boy bandish, aren't we?
Mike: Here's the thing: we didn't really hear about that until we left the US. In the US, I think I heard a rumour through my brother that somebody started back East, but for the most part, nobody has even heard that before. Maybe it's the fact we've never been out here before and the lack of communication between fans and ourselves made that happen, but almost every interviewer has asked something about this boy band thing, and it's freaking ridiculous, it's so silly!
Chester: I think it's because of my strikingly good looks.
Mike: I think it's because of your strikingly bad looks.
Chester: I totally disagree. I think i'm the most important person...ever.
Mike: I think chesters full of himself and I think thats really hot!
Chester: Yeah sometimes at night you're full of me too.
Q: Is there any female influence in particular to any of your songs?
Mike: Musically, I'm a big fan of Dido. I also like a ton of female groups from Kitty to Madonna to Sneaker Pimps. Portishead. If you ask Brad, he'll tell you he loves his Britney Spears.
Brad: I love Britney Spears.
Mike: She's a big influence on his guitar playing, especially.
Brad: She drives me crazy.
Q: Why does Brad wear headphones in concert?
Brad: Brad cannot reveal his inspiration.
Mike: When Brad's being mysterious he speaks in the third person.
Mike: When Mike speaks in the third person he makes himself crazy.
Brad: Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich.
Q: What was the hardest part about making the album?
Mike: Sitting in the same room with Brad for two months. But then we got on tour and it just got worse.
Brad: I didn't shower a lot then.
Mike: He showers less now.
Q: Does Joe Hahn have a split personality?
Mike: Absolutely. Joe Hahn keeps inventing new personalities daily. We're not sure how many he has, but at this point he's keeping us on our toes.
Brad: I think my favorite Mr. Hahn personality is the practical joking Mr. Hahn that probably doesn't have a name yet, but he's constantly inventing things in conversations with new fans who don't know us very well. He'll make up things about us that are totally untrue. So beware.
Chester: Yeah and I've got what they call the crispy cream which is a little fat area around my belly button which is kinda like a donut.
Mike: Its from eating too many donuts.
Q: Who has the worst habits in the band?
Chester: I would say that I'm probably the most annoying. There's a reason for it.
Mike: NO!
Brad: C'mon Chester!
Chester: I'm always touching them in their privates!
Brad: Yeah, Chester the molester!
Mike: It was scary in the beginning, when we started writing about what we felt, but once we realized we weren't the only ones who felt that way, once we saw the audience was coming along with us on that, it freed us up. We wanted to be a little more descriptive, instead of just going 'fuck' all the time. We wanted to go into detail.
Chester: In between the letters of the word fuck -- that's where we go. That's where we dig deep.
Mike: I guess our cover's blown -- we're not big, scary assholes, people should just feel comfortable being normal. You don't have to put up a huge front to be in a band.
Chester: I do. Every day when I get ready, I look in the mirror and say, over and over again, 'Must become action figure. Must become action figure."
Mike: You need to get a little clamp for that bracelet, so you don't have to pick it up every time you want to reach down! (Chester starts hitting him.) I'm not banging on you, bro, I just used to have the same problem!
Chester: It's art, dude, OK?! I'm not into image, it's fucking art!
Mike: Art? Whatever!
Mike: I'm not a very reading person, I like to look at pictures.
Chester: Mike likes porno.
Mike: I don't like porno. I like graphics...
Q: Do you guys feel like you've got some pretty big shoes to fill with all the Limp Bizkits and Korns out there in today's music scene?
Brad: Well, I'm not that tall - I actually wear a size 11 [shoe] - and we're actually getting stuff for free now. I just got a pair of Converse, so in terms of filling shoes I don't have any complaints.
Mike: Filling shoes? Wouldn't that mean that those bands are gone? I don't think any of those bands have left the scene. We're all playing music together at this point.
Brad: That was a very adept answer.
Mike: Thank you, Brad. Brad's so kind. He's here for my moral support. Without Brad I think I'd be pretty bummed out on tour, because he's the only one who gives me any moral support. Everyone else makes fun of me - especially Mr. Hahn.
Chester: Brad, be a big-ass Gumby for Halloween.
Brad: Actually, that would be good idea, but before Mike had red hair he actually once had green hair and he looked like Gumby, so that would be more appropriate for him.
Mike: I have red hair now that can work around it.
Chester: There was another time when Mike was in a really foul mood and we had to make a pit stop so he could use a porta potty.
Mike: Chester?!
Joe: I remember this one!
Chester: Anyways, Mike went to use the porta potty and we were waiting inside the RV. It was Joe's idea, but we all got out and started to rock the thing back and forth. We didn't mean to, but we ended up tipping the porta potty over while Mike was in it!
Mike: That was so not funny.
Joe: Yeah it was, you should have seen the look on your face when you got out of there!
Rob: Mike was covered in crap. He had to strip down before we let him back on the bus because he smelled so bad!
Chester: Then we attacked him with air freshener.
Brad: Lysol!
Brad: Mike, were you like in a pop group before Linkin Park?
Mike: I was in menudo
Brad: I heard that you can sing and dance real nice. Is it true you had a fight with Ricky Martin, and that's why they kicked you out? or was it the age thing?
Mike: ricky is an ass. he's just bitter 'cause my name was first on the first cd
Mike: You know those guards with the hats? The ones that don't move. Can you touch them? Can you, like, stick your thumb up their butts and they wouldn't move?
Brad: At that point wouldn't they, like, destroy you?
Q: You guys really don't know what your next single's going to be?
Chester: We have no idea.
Mike: Good job, Chester. Good boy.
Shoutweb: Have there been any casualties on tour yet?
Mike: I chipped a tooth on a mic once. I hurt my back in the pit. Chester got spit on. We got human fesces thrown on us. We got a sign one time when we were playing with Union Underground a couple of months ago that said, "Go Back To The Suburbs". Chester held it up and said, "We love fan mail." In the beginning they were talking some trash but by the end they were signing up for our street team. Chester kissed both of them on the face. The kids standing around were rolling on the floor laughing. I'm trying to think because I know there have been way more casualties. We've been hit and broken things. Brad's guitar has hit me in the head before. I actually threw up in my mouth in Des Moines.
Shoutweb: Ew... gross!
Brad: I got my first guitar about 11 years ago. I was probably in the sixth grade, [and that was how I got] inspired to grow long hair, 'cause that was the era in which Guns 'N' Roses, Metallica -- those bands were at their height, but my hair doesn't grow long really. It kind of grows outward so I tried to straighten it with a hair dryer and wound up trying to chemically straighten it, and then it died. So now I'm left with the bare minimum.
Mike: Actually, I remember what that looked like, and it wasn't like your typical long-hair look from that time period. He really had a mullet.
Brad: I had a mullet. Yeah, and that's inspired me to overcompensate ever since.
MTV: Let's talk about your success. You've sold over a million records...
Mike: We've sold a million records?
Chester: We did?
MTV: Have you?
Mike: Whoa!
Chester: and at the venue after soundcheck, we did four photo shoots, one after another
Mike: It was like a photo shoot buffet!
Chester: I don't even get on the Internet any more, I don't mess around with computers.
Mike: I'm the opposite. Rob and I are both really, really bad.
Chester: I'm sending him to Computers Anonymous!
Mike: We do want everyone to know that our home on the web is http://www.linkinpark.com/ and if you want to check out the fan websites, they'll be on there. We're going to be redoing our whole site, and that's going to be awesome. We're putting up new graphics and new things to entertain kids who go to the site
Chester: Yeah, we were thinking about adding these games called 'On The Rack', where you can rip people apart, and another one called 'Bash A Boy Band'. It's going to be really cool. It's totally original, it's never been done before!
Metal-is: Be careful - our lawyers are watching
Mike: Yeah, you're gonna be able to grab Brad by his bracelets and rip his arm off! You see, I only got one arm of bracelets, so you can only drag me in one direction, but you could pull him apart!
Chester: And my character, you can flip my necklace inside out and crank the necklace until my head pops!
Metal-is: With all the metal that you wear about your person, do you have problems when you go through airports?
Mike: You have no idea! Brad's pants are down around his ankles, 'cause his pants are too big and his belt's all made of metal, Chester has to take off 50 things it's a joke! And the best thing is, he's obsessive compulsive. Tell her about how you arrange your bracelets when you take them off!
Chester: No.
Mike: I'll tell her about it! Chester takes off his bracelets when he's going through the metal detector at the airport and he has this bag with those of those handles that pulls up, so there's a long hanger and he arranges them on that. He takes them off in the same order every time and puts them in the same places and arranges them perfectly.
Rob: I live on a bus!
Mike: Yeah, I live on a bus, that's my home.
Chester: Not only that, but I can't sleep anywhere, but the fuckin' bus! I need to buy a bus and park it in front of my house, so that when I go home, at night when I go to bed, I just go to the bed. Or I need to install a half of a bus in my room, with bunks, so I can sleep in it.
Joe: I have an ass, its a nice ass but I don't go around showing it off like Chester does all the time!
Mike: Yeah but you've shown it off once or twice!
Joe: Well that's different. I'm not like Chester.
Chester: Yeah I'm the assmaster!!!!
Brad: Did you know that I hear voices?
Mike: He does and sometimes they speak to us too.
Joe: What do you mean Joe? I'm not Joe, Joe isn't here right now. I'm Remy!
RS: Okaaaay...
Joe: REMY!
Chester: I'm concieded, I really am.
Otep: Yes but in a sexy kinda way.
Chester: Oh, she thinks I'm sexy!
Joe: Uh oh!
Joe: We don't care about the Mtv awards. I mean, we're glad that we got invited to it this year and we got to perform. But we really didn't care about winning.
Chester: Yeah there's always next year.
Joe: We'll just have the giant whale eat all of the other competitors!
Mike: Oh shit, look out, its Keiko!
Q: What do you think about Otep?
Chester:The lead singer (Otep) think I'm a sexy bitch.
Q: Huh?
Joe: Don't mind him. He's just really concieded
Adam: Okay Chester, I just have to ask you this, but what's up with your hair and your pants?
Chester: Dude, don't make fun of me or I'll have my wife kick your ass!
Dr. Drew: Huh?
Chester: I'm serious, she'll whip out some mean karate moves on you. She packs a mean punch!
Joe: Judo chop!
Chester: Raaaar!!!
Brad: Jones soda rules!
Mike: I like the green apple.
Joe: Hehe green froggie apple!
Chester: Crushed mellon is good!
Rob: Hehehe you said mellon!
Mike: Mellon...Mellons...Bozoooooms!
Ryan: Those Linkin Park boys are crazy.
Chester: Yeah and so are those Orgy guys. They're scary.
Mike: Very scary.
Chester: Joe and the guys keep on threatining me that on my next birthday they're gonna kidnap me and let orgy give me a makeover!
Mike: Awwe stop whining!
Joe: Yeah you know you want to get all dressed up and be glamarific!
Joe: What the hell is it with you and Jiggly Puff's?
Chester: What the hell is it with you and frogs?
Joe: Don't disrespect the almighty froggie!
Chester: Oooooh I'm scared! Should I run?
Joe: Yes very, very fast.
Mike: We're not like other bands you know. We actually visit our website and care about our internet fans. We visit as many fansites as possible.
Joe: Yes and I like to send threatending emails to people.
Phoenix: No you don't.
Joe: Yes I do! Shh, its supposed to be a secret!
Joe: Yes I do think Britney's boobies are fake!
Mike: Hehe boobies!
Chester: I like small boobies. Small ones are just right. Big ones are baaad. I'd be afraid that I'd get suffocated by them if they were too big.
Joe: Our fans are intelligent. They know their shit.
Mike: Yeah most of them know more about us than we do!
Mike: My walls are about three inches thick and my neighbours must have thought people were dying in my house! The whole neighbourhood could hear it!
Chester: And you'd hear someone go, "You fucking SUCK! Shut up!"
Mike: I think we were subliminally influenced for the bridge on 'One Step Closer' by my neighbours; "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"
Chester: At ten o'clock every night, we'd hear (he bangs his fist against the wall) and that was our alarm, so we almost ended up naming the band 'Ten PM Stocker', 'cause we recorded on Stocker Street every night and at 10 PM, we had to stop.
Chester: That's a really well thought out answer. Possibly because he's answered that question 500 times in the past week?
Mike: Ryan (Shuck) drank Chester under the table one night and Chester was yarfing everywhere.
Chester: I am the yarf king! I can do anything!
Chester: Have you ever played the Penis Game?
Cane: WHAT?!
Chester: The Penis Game!
Cane: What the hell is that?!
Chester: Wanna play it with me?
Cane: Uh, no thanks!
Mike: Oh come on, you know you do!
Cane: Would someone mind telling me what the hell the Penis Game is?
Chester: Its where I slap you with my penis!
Joe: No its not! Someone says Penis really quietly and then someone else repeats but in a louder tone and then it keeps going and going until it gets really loud and the louded person wins!
Cane: Oh, okay.
Joe: Penis!
Brad: Phoenix has no penis!
Phoenix: Now that you mention it, my name kinda ryhmes with Penis!
Joe: No it doesn't!
Chester: Shutup when I'm talking to you before I whip my friend out and give you mushroom stamps!
Mike: Yeah you're little friend haha!
Chester: Oh you would know wouldn't you.
Mike: Oh baby, you know it!
Joe: When we're on tour, we like to pick on each other just for fun.
Mike: Yeah we make fun of Chester's big ass.
Chester: I don't have a big ass!
Phoenix: No, you have a ghetto booty!
Joe: Haha ghetto booty! I like that one haha!
Chester: When we're not on tour I like to stalk the guys.
Mike: Yeah he follows us around like a lost puppydog.
Chester: Woof, woof!
Mike: (in a southern drawl) Ya'll come back now ya hear!
Chester: Yeah so we can have some eatins and fixins!
Joe: Pork n beans!
Phoenix: Chester likes to grab his package like Michael Jackson.
Mike: I didn't know Chester had a package?
Joe: Yeah its somewhere down there.
Joe: I want to get a pet frog and name it kermit! Or barky larky!
Chester: Barky larky?
Joe: Yeah got a problem with that?
Chester: I'm a big dork.
Mike: You have a big dork too.
Chester: Yes I know.
Joe: Chester has a bad mouth.
Chester: Fuck, fuck, fuck?
Mike: Bagawk!
Chester: I said fuck, not cluck!
Phoenix: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Chester: Huh? Lenny?
Joe: Lenny Kravitz?
Phoenix: No I said Kenny! Southpark, you know!
Chester: Mr.Hanky rules! Pooooooopoooo!
Chester: Scott Weiland is a God!
Mike: Yeah we know, you talk about him 24/7!
Chester: You're just jealous!
Q: So how do you guys like fame?
Mike: We're famous?
Chester: Are you sure?
Phoenix: Subfamous!
Mike: That's craptacular!
Chester: Brad has stinky feet! It smells like a skunk died in both his shoes!
Mike: Yeah Chester likes to smell people's shoes.
Chester: My shoes smell spiffy! Wanna sniff?
Mike: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
Chester: And sometimes you feel like my nuts.
Mike: I'm going to sprout wings out of my ass one day and fly around the world.
Chester: Sounds like fun, can I join you?
Q: Speaking of which, the band recently enlisted former bassist Phoenix back into the group after having not played with him since your Xero days, how is the chemistry with him, and who handled the bass duties during the tracking of your latest album?
Mike: We wanted someone in the bus to beat up on. Since we hate Phoenix so passionately, he was the only logical choice.
Q: While performing live, band guitarist Brad is usually wearing large headphones, is there a distinct reason behind this or is he trying to make a fashion statement?
Mike: I don't know. He won't say. It's just a big mystery.
Q: The video for your first single "One Step Closer" is quite eclectic and getting heavy rotation as of late, where did the whole kung fu ghost monk theme come from and is it actually you guys in the make-up?
Mike: Our DJ, MISTA HAHN, wrote the treatment for the video. It's a scary look into his head, isn't it?
Q: Nah, it's completely normal to think of flying kung-fu ghost monks.. I do it all the time.
Q: With the way things are going, the possibilities seem endless for you guys, what should we expect from the band in coming months?
Mike: You shall see soon, my friend.
Q: do you do that pelvic thrust thing to hold it up?
Mike: that's the only way to hold it up. you don't understand, like people do that and it's not like a style thing
Phoenix: it's a neccesity, really
Mike: yah, it's functional. like the pelvic thrust is functional adaptation
Phoenix: it's called "going shotgun", that's the technical terminology for that rock and roll move ( mike has a fit of laughter in the background)
Mike: WORD
Mike: Most of us met a long time ago. Brad and I met in junior high and we met Rob in high school, we met Joe in college
Chester: and they made me in college in a chemistry class. They copied Frankenstein's work and used pieces of dead people, which is why I have to wear this (touches his spiked collar), to hide the scar tissue.
Mike: except we were in art school. That was the whole problem. In art school, and there were no really good chemistry classes - so look what we came up with!
Metal-is: Well, it's great to have a million-selling album - but then you have to follow it up
Mike: We're just starting the first one, so when we get there, we'll worry about that!
Chester: It's only been two months!
Mike: Besides that, we know that we're going to do a 150 hour jam session on the second album, so it won't be able to compete with the first one, because it will be so entirely different, you won't be able to compare it.
Chester: And we're actually going to change the name again to the Ambient Guitar Tapping Group. Brad won't actually be playing, he'll just be tapping the body of the guitar, so the pick-ups pick up the vibration of the strings and it'll be like "Mmmmmmmm?."
Mike: For 150 hours! And we'll release it in 150 hour long CDs. And you'll have to buy all of them to get the full piece.
Metal-is: You know, I don't think I should print this, in case Pearl Jam see it
Chester: Waaaaagh! (Narrowly misses taking metal-is' journalist's eye out with his spiked collar as he jumps up and hugs her!)
Mike: Oh, that's no dig on Pearl Jam!
Chester: Oh, you're my favourite person - and I didn't mean to turn you into a shish kebab!
Mike: You wouldn't believe how dangerous it is to drive around with scented candles lit in the bus, but it's necessary.
Chester: We actually got smart and bought sticky velcro and put on either side of the candles, so they wouldn't roll around.
Metal-is: You just mentioned (hed) Planet Earth and you toured the States with them and Papa Roach recently. Was that all young-lads-out-on-the-road type fun?
Road: Yeah, that was a great tour. We actually became really good friends with all those guys.
Mike: Except for that damn Coby! He's real mean to us! He has nothing nice to say, and he always makes fun of me and Chester! And BC from (hed) Planet Earth calls us a naughty word! BC kept calling me and Chester 'vaginas'!
Chester: You know what else I noticed about BC? I kept seeing him kissing other men! (All laugh uproariously.) He even kissed me on the mouth once; I was like, "Dude, back off!"
Joe: I have a nice ass!
Chester: No,you have a bigass.
Mike: A big fatass
Some Person: Awwe, don't make fun of Joe's ass!
Joe: Hehehe you said ass!
Chester: And here is our bedroom
Brad: yeah it's our bedroom
Chester: No, it's not our bedroom, it belongs to my wife and I
Q: Do you have any wild stories or embarassing moments to share, while living on the road?
Mike: I almost ran over Chester with a golf cart when we were in Florida.
Chester: That was pure evil
Chester: For some reason we like each other.
Mike: He likes me alot, and I can't stand him.
Chester: Oh, I guess not then.
Mike: I think Chester is full of himself and I think thats really hot!
Chester: Yeah, sometimes at night, your full of me too.
Mike: Yeah, Chester is helping Ryan Shuck (of Orgy) out with his clothing line called Replicant.
Joe: Yeah, Chester is a fashion whore.
Chester: Fashion bitch! Its Fashion bitch, not fashion whore! There's a big difference.
Joe: There is? Oh, I didn't notice.
Phoenix: Chester likes anime porn.
Chester: Yes, and Chester likes other things too
Phoenix: Why are you talking in third person?
Chester: Because Chester feels like it. Now shutup and be a good boy and go clean your room.
Brad: I'm getting a new tattoo. It's going on Chester's left arm.
Joe: I'm getting flames on my wrists.
Brad: I'm getting Joes on my flames
Mike: I'm getting water on my wrists.
Brad: I'm getting wrists on my...I give up
Mike: Rob?
Rob: hi how's it going?
Mike: any thoughts, concerns?
Rob: no, just chillin with Big Ben
Joe: Mike walked over there, put a cd in, looked at the t.v, sat on the table, and broke it in half!
Mike: OMG im so bummed
Joe: stupid rock star!
Mike: How funny is this? I put my fatass on this table and broke it!
Brad: What's up, Linkin Park stuck in a ditch tour 2000.
Mike: We were on our way to where? Witchita but we ended up in Ditchita!
Mike: I met chester in a strip club.
Chester: Yeah we were both trying out for a job there.
Mike: Yeah but, my butt wasn't big enough......
