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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY!!!!
Now that that's done. I learned a few nights ago that the US company will not be started on July 1st as originally planned. Instead, I will be staying in China for the rest of this year, and hopefully it will open in December.
This is good... and it is very very bad. Good in that I will get to learn a little more and I will be able to know more people and get a better feel of what it's like in China. But very very bad in that I have to endure an environment that will drive me crazy. It really will. I think the people are nice. I can handle the people. But my supervisor... I think she'll drive me crazy. If you take her instructions to a level that she doesn't mention, she'll yell at you for not following instructions. If you don't do something she sort of implies (doesn't state it right out, mind you) she'll yell at you. But then, if she sort of implies it, but doesn't really mean it, you'll still get yelled at. It's like how do I know what you want and don't want? I can't read your mind. Just because I'm a psychology major doesn't mean that I'm a psychic.
things that make sense to me, don't make sense to you. Things that make sense to you, don't make sense to me. She doesn't understand.
the funniest thing is that the exact same thing is happening with one of our clients. He wants my supervisor to know exactly what it is he wants and for her to do it. And she has no idea. And she complains about it. But she doesn't realize she does the exact same thing to us every single day.
Our client doesn't realize his entire company and everyone who works for him doesn't really like him. My supervisor is in the exact same boat. They share more characteristics than they realize...
I spent this past week with one a our other clients. He is absolutely amazing. I totally respect him and want to have him as a role model... but I think he is a little too busy for all that. He gave me a whole bunch of advice as to where to start in this business and where I should go to get the help I need. God only knows that it would take a miracle for me to get it out of here.
Maybe it's because I was brought up in an individualistic culture. I don't think in terms of the "collective". And if I did, she wouldn't be a part of my collective. MY collective is filled with rational people that make reasonable requests and not unreasonable demands/critiques/and adjectives. I do not appreciate being told that I'm useless/worthless/dumb. that does nothing for a self-esteem already suffering from oppression.
UGh!!! and to watch her be SOOOO sickeningly sweet to the clients. it's disgusting. I'll be joking around with the clients, and she'll make comments that just don't make any sense. Or they make sense, if she is taking what the client says seriously.
For example, I talk a lot with the clients. That's my job. I conversate. (that is SO not a word) Anyway, I chatted with one guy until maybe midnight. And the next day I asked if his room was ok, if he slept well. and what he said was that he was so tired since last night I was just talking talking talking.
Now this comment can be taken two ways.
1) A fun comment intended to spark laughter.
2) A serious comment intended to tell me to stop talking to him.
The way he said it makes me inclined to believe it was the first. My supervisor believes it was the second masked in a joke. And as such, she "jokingly" rebukes me, saying that I shouldn't bother him so much.
But to me... it really truly did NOT feel like it was serious to me. Our conversation the previous night was quite good. He enjoyed himself, I enjoyed myself and it was good. And perhaps... just perhaps (giving the benefit of the doubt here) SHE was joking as well. But it really didn't seem like it. Maybe it's a "cultural difference"
I'm a little worried. This is my first serious work experience. I worry that things that are normal here, are VERY abnormal in other companies. I am not too sure what will happen. In fact I'm a little frightened.
God. These past few entries. All I do is write about the same stuff over and over again. My supervisor blah blah blah.
It's funny, I guess there are good things to write about as well... but I just can't remember what they are. And psychologically speaking, that will unbalance you. Writing is a good thing. It is good to work out thoughts and put it in writing. But only if you work out both the good and the bad and the ugly.
Oh my, this entry has been so random...
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