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Chinese people are amazing.
I must say they are INCREDIBLY talented people.
They can turn negative attention away from themselves SO FAST.
You did something wrong. And I point out you did something wrong because if I don't, people start blaming ME for your wrong. And then all of a sudden it's "ok, I did something wrong, but YOU did this and this and this and this and this and this and this."
And in MY version of reality, all those "thises" never happened.
I am so sick of being misrepresented and misunderstood. I miss the US so much. I miss being in a place where people don't have two faces and rearrange reality to suit them and their friends.
I've written a letter to my supervisor. Let me know what you think... should I send it?
My honored supervisor,
I just wanted to apologize for everything I seem to do wrong. Please berate me for all of the inexcusable offenses I manage to bring to your attention. I can’t expect you to forgive me for my stupidity. And I won’t. My failings are plentiful and undesirable. I will try harder to purge myself of them. And if harder is not enough to exceed your inexplicably high standards, please berate me some more so that I may better learn my lessons. Thank you for belittling me when I make a mistake as I surely deserve it. Please honor me with a diatribe when my vacant stare designed to keep me from crying offends your delicate sensibilities. I realize that I should be more responsive, perhaps cry and tremble as it makes you feel more effective. So please if I fail to respond with an appropriate amount of wailing, berate me some more and force it out of me. Self-control is not an appreciated characteristic at this company, so I beg you, please change me. If I fail to respond to your alteration of reality to reflect one that better suits you, please remind me that I am no one. Whatever I say reality is must not be true. Of course I have a faulty memory. Please criticize my every action and let me report every minor detail to you. Please let me take the blame for anything you may do. Please have me bring to mind just how unworthy I am to even THINK about working for you. Please speak to me in that sugary sweet voice you use to speak with your adversaries as it reminds me that I am no better than they and that I should continue to try harder to better myself so that I may one day be suitable to sit in your presence . It would be my pleasure and honor to become your indentured servant if you would have me.
I live for the day you may tolerate my presence.
Eternally at your service,
Shelley
God help me. I can't stay here.
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