I met up with a friend from forever and a day ago, his name's Bert... I haven't seen Bert since like freshman year? He's changed a lot. Or maybe I just never really knew him. He's currently in the process of becoming a starving artist. It's really kinda cool, he has this idea for an art installation that reminds me more of a psychology experiment. It's like, he got this view of religion and the way it operates in the modern world, and basically what he thinks is that people today feel that they can do all this bad stuff, and it will be forgiven by showing up to church. They don't really BELIEVE that much in God or what not, they just feel better about themselves for have gone to church. Kind of the way indulgences worked back in the middle ages, only now, you don't have to go to confession, or pay for the indulgence, instead you merely show up to church. So the way his experiment works is this: you have a person and you lock them into a room, watching this absolutely horrid video of people mutilating animals, raping, and indulging in all sorts of sins, and then say a little bedtime prayer and feel all better. The experimentee doesn't know that he's locked in until he tries to get out. Then he can't get out and is supposed to freak out. The people in the rest of the gallery are watching this guy freak out and I guess are expected to sit there and laugh? And any one of them can let the guy out of the room. They can get up and unlock the door at any time. Theoretically, none of them will get up to let him out, they will just laugh, and it's supposed to hit home the idea that we are all sinning...

I don't really understand the value of the experiment though... I don't think I really grasp what he's trying to do, especially since there are so many ways for the experiment to work quite right. Like Bert's saying that this guy locked in his room will freak out and try to leave. Number one, ok.. it's an upsetting video, but doesn't necessarily mean that he will leave. Number two, even if he does try to leave, doesn't necessarily mean the people outside will sit there and laugh. Number three, who's to say that the people outside the room will even get the message he's trying to get across? His entire idea just confused me =T. I think my confusion was conveyed to him as well, and I'm afraid he might have taken it the wrong way... =T ::sigh:: ah well... hopefully, it'll be all good. He's now currently an aspiring fashion designer and will one day one his own line and provide me with free clothing =P.

I also Caught up on a bunch of movies today... well.. just two, Moulin Rouge and Snatch. I really really liked moulin rouge, but I dunno... snatch didn't really appeal to me. Nicholas said it was really really good... but eh... didn't do much for me... But one of the last scenes from moulin rouge just kinda made me think... gee... life IS like that.

It's the scene where Satine is dying and Christian is holding her, and all the actors are sad and crying on one side of the curtain and on the other side the crowd is cheering. It's the entire idea of the facade reinforced once again. We all have this facade that we maintain for all those around us. We show one side of ourselves, and they (the audience) never really see what happens behind the scenes. There's so much we do and so much that we take into account in our lives that we don't want other people to see. For example, things that disturb us are often thought of as personal and intimate and none of other people's business, and as a result, we hide it. We hide these things from other people's view. And even though other people might not find it distasteful at all, you still hide it. And you keep it to yourself.... it's your own private problem that you don't want other people to see... and that's kind of interesting in and of itself... I mean... humans are supposed to be social animals, you think that we'd share all of our problems with each other rather than deal with it on our own... but then you think that perhaps.. that is why we have "significant others" I suppose... those people who love you no matter what... hehe... too bad I don't have one.. ah well.. s'all good.. =D

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love someone and to be loved in return."

So I found what I had written! Yay! I'm so tired! Gonna be spending the rest of today either working on a dragon website (long long long OVERDUE!) or doing homework.. I do believe the website will be a lot more fun to work on... hehe... Spent today sleeping, and then at in-n-out, and then yeah... my new computer is really really loud. I wanted to hang out with my friends today, but haven't gotten around to telling them that I'm home yet unfortunately. bleh.. oh wells... ::yawn:: ok.. off to work on this website! whoo hoo!!! =D

Spring break! yay!!! you know what? School sucks.. don't like school... =P Going home soon... or so I wish.. ::sigh: poor poor me... I'm so bored... my nose is stuffy and my back hurts... thinking I want a massage... so tired... ::yawn:: I think I've had too much sleep.

I met someone today. She's an interesting character. Not too sure how to describe her. She's a lot of fun, and very energetic and enthusiastic until she starts to lose... then she won't play anymore... She will pull anything to get her way. And she'll talk smack behind people's backs... I don't like that. It makes me sad... because she has such a strong character, and she's very unwilling to bend... she's not hard to get along with as long as you go along with her... but most people aren't willing... and you can't blame them. But it's indicative of an essential character flaw... and it's one that's hard to change. Wish it weren't like that... Interesting how some people just don't really have a good idea of how society perceives them... actually I think most people don't have a particularly accurate view... I think I have a pretty good idea... but... then I could be wrong too.. ::shrug:: whatevers... tired... ok.. gonna go to sleep now... night

Ok... so what happened yesterday? oh yes! an accomplishment! I got my first SUNBURN!!! whoo hoo!!! not really... but.. eh... it's an experience I guess...

but yesterday took my kid david sheh to Cheesecake factory in SF. Can you believe it? he's 21 and has never been to cheesecake factory! the poor deprived little soul! So I took him there for the sole purpose of consuming the avocado eggroll. hee hee hee... mm.. cheesecake factory... sooo good!

what else happened yesterday? oh yeah, mad studying for my midterm today.. it went ok... I think? =P I hope so =D.

you ever wonder if we were ever just figments of a big giant's imagination? Like... sometimes things just seem so unreal. It's like my life, as long as it may seem to me in reality is only a 10 minute dream of someone elses consciousness. And sometimes, life just seems so unreal, that I can't quite shake the feeling of being... a non-entity... =T

so today... just kinda wandered around... ate food... and that was about it.. I am soooo out of it... yeah.. very much out of it... hehe... perhaps getting better though? possibly.. hehe... I wonder who's going tothe library today... sooo tired... maybe... short nap before library...

Studying Studying Studying... midterm tomorrow and still sick.. update tomorrow... no time no time!

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added retroactively on march 21, 2002

From my AIM profile:
today has been good for the most part. yeah.. I liked it... made me think a bit about me, and about the way i see things... learn something new everyday. Introspection, I've found is a process that needs to be done fairly regularly... the stresses of everyday life change one's personality slowly but surely, we just refuse to see the changes..