A Complicated Song

Uh huh
Extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh
Save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame, no one came

Just us eatin' all alone
You said, "take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"
So then I faced

Pizza all day, and ev'ry day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care for irregularity

Tell me, why'd you have to go
And make me so constipated
'Cause right now I'd do anything
To just get my bowels evacuated

In the bathroom, I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives
Or have my colon irrigated
No no no

I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed
Her family crest, I'd suddenly spied
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me

Tell me, how was I supposed to know
We were both related
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin
We never would have dated

What to do now
Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama
Where that kind of thing is tolerated
No no no

No no no
No no no
No no no

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand
But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet
I got on my feet, and stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see

Tell me, why'd I have to go
And get myself decapitated
This really is a major inconvenience
Oh man, I really hate it

Such a drag, now
Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose
Or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no
Why'd I have to go and get myself
All mutilated (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head
Kinda makes me irritated

What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no

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