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www.youthresource.com
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Welcome!!!!!!!
5 March, 2002
HAHA, i completely forgot about this site. mwa hahaha. yeahhhh so apparently my dad said that he'd get me an electric guitar for my b-day. which is weird cuz he hates the guitar and i thought he'd say no. i be happy.
well one thing i'm not happy about: youth protection said that i must tell my parents i'm suicidal. but the reason i give them is up to me. so i was thinking i could tell them i'm gay and that can justify my suicidalness (even though its not true at all), but they won't pry that way. or i can tell them the truth (HA!), oy i dunno, i have alot of thinking ot do. and i still hate everything. some things never change.
13 February, 2002
wow i haven't written in a while. newayz i feel confused. and i feel like shit. and i'm cold, i hate everything.
i'm unsure of what to do. see i go to my social worker every wednesday, but now it's hard to go there cuz my chaperone (my sister) can't always make it and then i miss the session. so now the school is gonna have to find me a chaperone. but i think i should tell my parents tho, but.....i dunno. it's gonna mess my whole situation up. i dunno i'm confuzzled and annoyed and hate-filled. aRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
4 February, 2002
sorry my net was cut off for a while as we switched providers. newayz, i've been feeling really shitty recently, like i'm ready to kill someone shitty. everyone's getting on my nerves. i'm sick of being patient and i'm sick of controlling myself and my anger. i just wanna blow it all and f*ck someone. really, all i want is a good f*ck. it's sad i know, but that is like the only thing that can help me right now. i g2g, cya later.
26 January, 2002
HEYYYY! yeah freewebz messed up for awhile. newayz, I JUST GOT MY YELLOW BELT IN MY MARTIAL ARTS CLASS! I BE HAPPY! yeah.
so yeah the youth protection guy said it was my choice so i chose to stay and get psychological help for a month. he's gonna visit me next month to see how everything is going. yup i g2g, cya later!
23 January, 2002
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP! i just went to see my social worker today and my counselor and they said that this guy from Youth Protection is gonna come and evaluate me on Friday. if he finds that i'm in danger by being in my house i may be put in placement THAT DAY! oh $HIT!!! and if he doesn't i just get psycho/psychiatric help. that's always good. IT'S ALL HAPPENING SO FAST! ...well sorta, i made my signalement (calling up Youth Protection and saying that i'm suicidal due to family problems) in November, and now they're responding, like 3 months after. well at least they work fast when they're on a case. yeah. $HIT!!!!!!!!! I DUNNO WUT'S GONNA HAPPEN! plus the social worker was telling me that it's likely that Youth Protection is gonna pull me out. F#ck, it's so fast. well wutever happens happens. yeah.
19 January, 2002
< :( my sister is going back home :( oh well, sukiness. newayz, "date girl" and i called off our date and plans for the future right now, cuz she's going thru some shit. which is okay with me, so yeah.
okay big thing: i sent an email to "love girl" explaining my feelings for her. Why? i don't know! also, i just don't think it's right to have feelings for someone without them knowing, i dunno why, but yeah. she didn't check her mail yet :( god the anxiety!!!
14 January, 2002 (supplement!)
AAAAAHHHHHHH F#CK! i just lost 1 month's data! see at the end of this page it just stops at "I'm"? i dunno where the rest of it went!!! ANGERNESS!!!!!!
14 January, 2002
F#ckin hell. so much $hit is goin on. i just met with my social worker for the first time with my sisters and stuff. we discussed all my family shit and the social worker said it's my decision whether or not i should go to a foster home or not. i'm so screwed. i dunno wut to do! i'm so confused! i dunno wut to do! go to foster care? or stay at home? i don't know! i'm so screwed...plus i didn't really get a chance to see date girl, nor did i have a chance to talk to her on msn yet :(
13 January, 2002 (supplement!)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A DATE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! my first date! i'm so happy. no not with love girl, the girl from the day before! the bi one! yeah i had a crush on her, and she did with me and i asked her out on MSN and she was like sure! hehehe! yeah! we're either going out for skating or for coffee! happiness is me!
13 January, 2002
Sorry about the slow down again...FreeWebz was having some problems and so was my computer:( yesterday, my sister who's here from the states on vacation brought this video of my disowned brother and his wife! We got to see it after my parents went out! it was about their wedding and it was really touching. i cried. hehe, yeah, it was so weird! it was like "Oh my god, that's my brother! I haven't seen or talked to him in forever! I miss him!" it was really weird. It was like, he was so distant, but really close... wutever.
OH GUESS WUT?!?!? hehe, my friend just told me that she was bi and that she has a crush on me! I sorta like her too...but i didn't get to talk to her much after she told me that cuz her dad told her to get off the net :( well, i'll see her tomorrow or hopefully on MSN today!
9 January, 2002
HEYYYYYY! yeah, i be angry cuz like, reuters named gillian anderson one of the worst dressed just cuz she went to "rock for choice" with visible armpit hair. i wanna kill the hollywood testosterone-filled bitch-asses. yeah i don't feel like talking, so bye!
8 January, 2002
HEYYYYYYY! argggh, last night was horrible. all i could think about was suicide, and different ways to kill myself. basically with a knife...like stabbing it into my solar plexus and my side for some reason. not good.
yeah, but my sister got me this gothic metal finger i've been dying for. 90 fricken bucks. well, it was a gift so i be happy! it's really nice, real silver and it covers my entire finger. Plus she got me this arm bracelet/choker. nice!
yeah i went back to school, nuthin special. ohhhh i went to my counselor and she said that the woman from youth protection still didn't call (damn!) and she didn't get me a psychologist yet. it's been a f#cking month already. (sigh) well, my sisters will be meeting up with my counsellor so that will be some progress. cya lata ppl!
4 January, 2002
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, i have this stupid project to do that i didn't even start! plus i have this other longer one, angerness! i can't do them! my sister is here from minneapolis and i want to spend time with her! i don't wanna do this crap! crapola. yeah, wutever. anyway, things haven't been the greatest with me, seems like i have weird issues with reality. like when my sister came two days ago, i didn't realize that she was "here". like i was happy to see her, but i wasn't happy because mentally i felt that i wasn't "there" and that she wasn't "there"...yeah. never mind, i gotta go, byebye!
1 January, 2002
Yay, new year. i never did get why today is soooo important, it's just another day. wutever, party anyway. so yeah, my sister and i are starting a zine! i already made one like a year ago,but i never circulated it, so yeah. but this one is gonna include this new comic i started hehe, i don't have a name for it yet, but the main girl is this spikey-haired, bitchy lesbian feminist. haha, yeah, i'm gonna go now.
OHHHHH YEAH I FORGOT! hehe, i can't really sing worth a damn, sooooooooooo i tried to like yell some death metal. I SOUNDED SOOOOO F@CKING SCARY!! hhehee, like some enraged butch lesbian. ahhahahahaa, i'm very much amused by this, it rocks! maybe i can plan some sort of metal band for future projects...all i need now is an electric guitar! ...and other people...who can tolerate my $hitty voice;)
28 December, 2001
Oh i see i forgot to write, i do that alot. ummm, oh yeah i got metal gear solid 2 (happiness! but i'm already finished) and some other stuff. Ummm, i dunno, AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like doing that. bye.
25 December, 2001
Heyy, yeah so i didn't get to open presents yet :(, my rents are watching "Shrek" now. damnation. ohhh but i did open my stockings and i got a thumbpick! finally! i be of happiness! oh yeah, i forgot to mention, i met this cool chicka on the web, the girl who wrote in my guestbook. so yeah, she's probably reading this so, "HII!!!!!!!". hehee. yeah. ummmm, nothing else to say, so i go now byebye!
21 December, 2001
HEYYYYY, yeah, i went to school but then my project got f@cked up and now i have to finished later :( wutever. then i went to the mall with my sister and her friend, yeah it was okay, but i dunno, i felt empty. never mind i'm
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