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The Main Crush Stuff:

Grrrls i actually know

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nEuROTICA

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The Other Stuff:

the LOVE girl!!!

yes, i believe i am falling in love with her. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. the chicka's in the different forums all have mixed thoughts and so do i. but i love her, i think. she is so cool. this is more than a crush. it's...deeper than that. i mean, she's not the kind of girl i'd normally be attracted to physically. i'm attracted to her personality, ya know? she's hyper, and happy. we make each other hyper and happy. she's so tough, but she's also really cool and caring. okay, she's not hot, but she's beautiful. i only realized that after i realized how much i feel about her. she's beautiful. i dunno, i can't explain it! and she's a good person, and she's soo cool (i know i mentioned that before but she is!). and she's completely shameless and weird, and i LOVE that about people! i'm shameless and weird and freaky. all we do is freak people out most of the time;) hehe.

when we talk she gets really close to me. we're like 2 centimeters apart! i'm like, DAMN! and she tickles me alot, cuz she loves the way i react. i laugh really really high pitched and loud when i get tickled, and she gets sooooo happy when i do that. it's really funny actually.

there's one problem: i think she's gay. and that makes this so frustrating!!!!! i mean, i'm gay and i like (love?) her, and what if she's gay? and i mean we're friends and stuff, would i have a chance? i know that i'm not gonna do anything (ask her out, etc.) but what if? i dunno. never mind me.

the first

Okay, this is the girl who made me realize i was gay. this was like 1 or 2 years ago (but i still like her;) Ya she was in one of my classes and i didn't understand my feelings towards her. one night i stopped to think about it. i was like...oh i'm gay! well at first i thought i was bi, but i wasn't so ya. it wasn't a big shock. i always sorta knew, ya know? it was like that. so ya, she's hot! she's tough. she's this anti-racist, anti-racist, anti-homophobic, anti-sexist grrrl, that so turns me on! heheheheehee, oh yaa.

Acquaintances and People i don't know

The locker girl

Okay ya, there's this girl who's locker is right across from mine and i've been infatuated with her since the school year began! heheeh, ehhh she's just really hot, that's basically it. she's like a hybrid of kathleen hanna/bjork plus a little something else. hehehe, ya she's...she's "wow". i never even met her. i only heard her say "yeah". that's it.

The other girl

this is a girl i had a crush on before i realized i was gay (and i didn't realize i liked her till now...just never mind that). she's this cute girl on the basketball team...she's gorgeous. I FINALLY MET HER!!!!!!!!!!!! I was invited to the school's award ceremony and in the auditorium, she sat NEXT TO ME!!!!! we started talking and now were friends! sorta friends, like i just say hi and talk to her a bit. i'm trying to get her msn address, but i can't find her recently. she's really nice and hyper and stuff. ya. i'm sleepy and i'm going to go now.

MORE TO COME!I'm busy typing them all!

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